That 000000 & ffffff || Matty Healy

And This is how it Starts

/ / A N D  T H I S  I S  H O W  I T  S T A R T S / /

"I don't like this," I mumble again for the fifteenth time tonight, and for the fifteenth time tonight, my friend, Jamie, rolls his eyes. "We're gonna get caught!" I insist in a hushed whisper as we move forward in the line.

"If you keep acting guilty, then yeah, babe, we're gonna get caught." He throws his arm over my shoulders and I try to act as casually as I can, my hands still shaking, though.

It's not as if we're doing the worst possible crime - lots of teenagers sneak in to bars underage, it's not...it's not uncommon - but God, I've never so much as ran a stop sign with out having a heart attack, I'm about to pass out right now and it's evident that Jamie is willfully oblivious to this.

I take deep breaths, try to focus on the too high heels I'm wearing, traveling to Jamie's worn out chucks and I find myself thinking how unfair it is that I had to dress up — some dress I probably haven't worn since I was fourteen and heels I stole from my roommate — while Jamie is in his casual everyday outfit: worn jeans, white tee. His only effort probably being his blonde hair being pushed away from his blue-green eyes and pushed under a gray beanie.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when the bouncer gruffs out, "ID?" And my hands are shaking so badly as I rummage through my bag, causing groans from behind me. I finally pull out the ID that upped my age and the bouncer barely glances at it, before he checks Jamie's and then ushers us inside.  My heart is pounding incessantly and Jamie hoots as soon as we're in. It's a dark club, only illuminated by strobe lights and tinted windows. There are mirrors in the far back, making the club seem a lot bigger than it already was and the floors are seeping with fog. The music was loud and familiar and that sort of settles me.

"This club is insane!" Jamie exclaims, looping his arm through my elbow, "see, you were shaking for no reason. Lighten up babe! You're eighteen, live a little!"

"I'm seventeen, though," I mumble as he leads us towards a bar and orders something I don't quite catch.

"Not according to your ID, keep up," he chuckles, and hands me a glass of pink fizzling liquid. I make a face when I drink it, sweet and bitter at once, like a rancid grapefruit or something. I push it back to him, shaking my head, and he complies this time, for once, not trying to pressure me into something I'd rather not do.

"It's pretty packed in here," I yell through the music.

Jamie nods his head, "I think a some bandmembers are here? Damn look at her, she's full fledged cougar — do you think I can pull her?" I follow his line of sight and shrug. Jamie could pull anyone effortlessly, and it was not at all shameful for me or anyone of our close friends to admit that we had hooked up with him at least once. He orders me a rum and coke, because he knows that's the only thing I'm familiar with, then he slips off to find the Cougar, "Have fun tonight Mars, alright? Let loose, but holler if you need me," His voice is already fading, his body slipping through the crowd and I want to actually throttle him for leaving me alone.

I'm still having a silent break down for having broken a serious law, in a club I've never been to and he just leaves me? I should have stayed home with my roomie and light things on fire. At least it would have been some level of normalcy.

It's twenty minutes in and the bartender keeps looking at me in a pitiful way and I glare at him through every sip until I'm at a low buzz. Unable to take this stupid barstool and this sympathetic bartender any longer, I trudge my way in generally the same direction as Jamie had went, immediately being groped by the mass crowd.

I hadn't realized how much screaming was actually going on until squeals were popping my eardrums and the music was just a mass vibration pumping through our bodies.