That 000000 & ffffff || Matty Healy

If My Heart Stops Beating

/ / I F M Y H E A R T S T O P S B E A T I N G / /

"Marcy?" Jamie calls out, climbing into bed with the girl huddled under her sheets, "Come on babe, you must be sweating under there, it's blazing hot right now," He tries talking lightly, skirting around the topic of why she's actually in bed – why she hasn't exactly left it in a few days.

She pulls the cover down and messy strands of bleached hair obscure her face but her eyes remain close and like a child, Jamie attempts to lift the lid, not as surprised to see the red rim surrounding glossy green irises. Her lips tremble and Jamie feels terrible for disrupting her, but this can't be healthy. There was a time where she'd lay in bed for hours, not exactly crying, but sulking over something Brian had done, but this was different, this was her heart shattering.

She can't help the sobs that escape her lips and immediately, Jamie brings his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. He doesn't ask her what's happened or try to avert her attention; he just lies there and holds her. He supposes they both fell asleep because when he awakens, it's soft shakes from Anna.

She doesn't say anything, but he get's the hint to be quiet when he shuffles from under Marcy, trying not to wake her.

Anna leads him to the living room, "You want food?" She asks, and he's almost surprised it's not with a snarky undertone.

"No, I ate at Drew's," he admits, and he waits for her to jab him with teasing inquiries, but it doesn't happen. He clears his throat, "How was work?"

She shrugs, "Jimmy can't fire Natalie."

His eyebrows furrow, he had thought she had been fired months ago, after Marcy had come back from the festival. He voices this out loud, "I thought she was already fired?"

"She was demoted, or something, working a different sector of the building. Her dad funds us." She comes to sit by him, resting her head on his shoulder. He likes her like this, when she isn't snarky or patronizing or trying to burn something, but he'd never tell her, scared she'd annihilate him for being so sappy. "Marcy's going to flip shit."

"No she won't. She's too easy on them, isn't she?" Jamie asks running a hand over his hair, glancing at the general direction of Marcy's room. He bites his lip before asking, "I thought everything was alright? Where's Matty and George?"

"Those fuckboys left," she says bitterly and Jamie feels his stomach drop, because he's thinking the worse, but it doesn't make sense, now does it? Why would they – Matty especially – leave, when so much was done to keep them together? "I think Matty broke up with her – I don't know the details. I think George does. I had to leave when Jimmy called, I couldn't even console her, I let that asshole's best friend do it."

Jamie frowns trying to peace everything together. "Should we...call him?"

It's silent for a while and his stomach twists. He's known Marcy his whole life; he doesn't understand how someone who's only known her for a few months can make her like this. "No," Anna finally says, "I'd rather not." The unspoken reasoning was that maybe Marcy would tell them when she's ready.

Day by day, Jamie watches the tension slowly disperse. Marcy isn't quite herself yet, but she's speaking more and more. Jamie sits on the edge of the tub, taking her in as she washes her mouth. She's been vomiting a lot lately, but it probably has a lot to do with the stress she's put on herself. Jamie idly plays with her phone; he had taken it upon himself to text her parents' everyday, asking about them and Ari, trying to make it seem like their daughter wasn't a walking zombie.

If she wasn't sleeping, she was in class or studying, and if not, she was at the studio, writing articles for the radio's website, and virtually keeping to herself. It was a scary thing to witness, but Jamie thinks that it's a coping mechanism. "Hey, I have to run, do you need me to drop you off at your appointment?" a few days ago, Anna had made an appointment for Marcy to get a check up and some birth control, Jamie had assumed he'd be the one to take her, but Drew had called him up and he loves Marcy to death and into his next life, but staying all day with her for weeks on end while in her depressed state is enough to have him feel miserable himself.