That 000000 & ffffff || Matty Healy

Settle Down

/ / S E T T L E  D O W N / /

I frown, "Did you think I pulled the bit about you fucking all of my friends out of my ass?" He's got flowers in his hands, it seems to be his go-to thing now, and I have the urge to burn them as I did the others he gave me.

"I..."

"You what?" I inquire, and despite how confident I seem, I can feel my face heating and my heart drumming into my ears, I wish I could have ended this before it even begun.

"I didn't know you knew about Natalie..." he admits, the flowers faltering a bit from his hold and I'm slightly surprised to see they're roses and not lilies like he usually gets me.

It dawns on me then, when I might have mumbled, "I was in the other room," not even hearing my self as a rush fills my ears. Those flowers weren't even for me. They were for Natalie. He probably didn't even know I'd be here today. And I couldn't have been more confused. More heartbroken.

"I think you need to leave," Jimmy finally inputs, his voice stern, like something I've never heard in him before and I find myself turning before he calls, "Not you, Marcy."

Natalie and Brian share a look, Brian opening his mouth to say something, but my hands are shaking and I can't focus on what he's saying, there's a tiny fly on a rose and I can't feel myself breathe properly. Disgusting bugs on disgusting flowers held by a disgusting man and I so much as want to punch him, something I've been holding back since day one because I was so enamored with him.

My nails are digging into the palm of my hands and I might have cut skin because I definitely feel something like liquid trickle over my knuckles.

"I said, leave," Jimmy is standing now with his hands at my shoulder holding me back. I'm pulled towards him and Natalie has this look on her face, like she has something to say, but I definitely don't want to hear it.

"Marcy you're bleeding," She finally exclaims, standing from the chair and walking towards me. Jimmy pulls me further back, and a pause is startled from Natalie. Her body, at first tense, now goes flaccid in defeat. She grabs her bag and turns the opposite way, towards Brian. She seems to stop again, a mental debate in her head before pushing past him, only glancing back to tell me, "Marcy, it isn't what you're thinking."

"I think you should go home for the day," Jimmy says before I can so much as process her words.

I can't even think up an explanation for anything that's happened between her and Brian behind my back, there's absolutely no sense in what she's telling me. I want to tell her to go fuck herself but I can't operate my mouth anymore; I'm stuck watching her leave, Brian yet to follow. He hesitates before faltering and retreating behind Natalie, like a lost puppy. The bug drops from the rose petal and scampers close to my feet.

I look down at it. I shiver, Jimmy's hands the only thing warm on my shoulders.

"Fuck, why didn't you tell me, Marcy – I wouldn't have even given her the job, I'm so sorry, why did you never tell me? Why am I last to know these things? Why did..." He's talking to me, I know he is, but I'm staring at the bug, about as long as the width of my thumb, black and crooked wings. Broken wings.

I step on it.

Brown sludge-like slime splattering against the floor, spilling from underneath my shoe and

Well, I faint.

When I wake up, I'm drenched in sweat and I'm only very slightly distorted. My mouth is parched and I'm not sure how much had been a dream if I'm honest with myself.

"Fucking finally," Jamie mutters beside me. I turn around only to be taken aback by his feet, crossed at the ankles, resting on the pillow beside me. I lift up only to see Jamie's head by my foot. He's laid on his back, a phone held above his face in his hands.