That 000000 & ffffff || Matty Healy

Don't You Mind?

/ / D O N ' T  Y O U  M I N D ? / /

"Babe, wake up," I feel a soft push against my shoulders but I ignore it, snuggling deeper into the covers, fighting to salvage the dream that had over taken me just moments before. There's a tug against my sheet and I'm too impassive to grab it back, so I lay there, motionless, letting out a mumble of incoherent jumble slip through.

"Who's Matty?" he asks and I have to blink because Jamie knows who Matty is –

Then this isn't Jamie.

"Bri?" I try to focus in on him, but my eyes seem to go crossed and I'm suddenly very cold. I try to grasp at my sheets as if to cover myself, but it's nothing he hasn't seen before. Brian has seen on my very best days — hair styled, makeup on point, outfit flawless — and he's seen me on my very worst days — hair askew, red nosed, puffy eyes, sweats and food stains galore. I had no reason to hide from him, but it was making me feel weird. "What are you doing here?"

"I stopped by because I think we needed to talk...I tried to wake you up and you said 'go away Matty'." He looks at me skeptical, or at least, I think he does. My head is pounding and I can't see right.

"Who let you in?"

He looks toward my open bedroom door, he might look a bit nervously before answering, "Anna – Marcy who's – "

"Jimmy's dog," I lie, and I cringe because I don't really have to, I could have just told him he was someone jimmy had interviewed the other day – which is not a lie...but then, that would raise more questions, wouldn't it? Why are you calling out his name in your sleep? That's definitely one of them. "He's really...friendly. And he likes to annoy me." Which, yes, Matty does indeed like to annoy me to no end. Confuse me more than anything. But annoy me, nonetheless.

He nods his head, accepting it, although I don't quite give him much time, "Here, Anna told me to give you this," he thrusts a glass of water under my nose and I take it rather awkwardly, before drinking it. "I think we should talk," he repeats, and I'd rather not. I thought that much had happened the night before. He must see the contorting in my face because he amends, "let me take you out for lunch – er, dinner?" he glances at my alarm clock beside the bed, and my eyes widen when I follow his gaze, it was already past four in the afternoon.

"Did I slip off into a coma?" it's rhetorical and Brian laughs and it's odd and nervous and this isn't right. He's acting as if everything is alright, and while, last night that may have been my goal; to forget anything bad that's happened between us, I'm very sober right now, only a slight pounding to my head, and I have the feeling I should be a lot angrier than I let on. He leaves my room and tells me he'll wait until I'm all dressed and I debate whether or not to go back to sleep and play it off as if I had dreamed the whole thing, or to humor him and let him talk.

I check my phone when I decide to push my covers completely off of myself, my eyes skimming for any missed calls, or text messages. I get one, from my daddy, it's not the one I had been hoping to find but I'm a bit elated regardless. I miss him too much. I reply to him and tell him I'd call him back when I can. I then skim through twitter, and I'm a slight ease when I see a resent tweet from Matty and George saying that they've landed in a country that I wont try to pronounce and that they're excited to be playing.

I don't remember much of last night after going back to that little shop for a second order of ice cream cones. I think Matty might have dropped me back to the party and I think he was a bit reluctant to go, or maybe it was me that was reluctant to go. I remember that before I even made it to the building's door, Jamie was carrying a giggling Anna in his arms and there might have been a slight char to his new jacket. Anna might have set Jamie on fire. But I think I had been glad, I didn't want to go back to the party, I didn't want to face Brian after ditching him for Matty, despite the fact that he had no real idea on why I left, other than I was feeling suffocated.