That 000000 & ffffff || Matty Healy

She's got a Boyfriend Anyway

/ / S H E ' S  G O T  A  B O Y F R I E N D  A N Y W A Y / /

Jamie picks up on the third ring, and I don't exactly know how he knows it's me on the other line, because I'm sure this number is foreign to him. "Marcy, I'm sleeping." He sounds utterly bored, only half awake, I can almost imagine his eyes drooping, which is quite silly, seeing as he had seemed quite awake the last time I saw him, a mere two or so hours ago. "Is it urgent?"

"Yes," I groan out, clutching the phone to my ear with both hands, looking beyond the glass encasing as if someone might jump out of no where and attack me, "Jamie, did you know pay phones still exists?"

"...Yes? Marcy, babe, did the pyro light a bud and give it you? You do know that no means no, right?"

"Really," you question faintly, ignoring the last bit of his sentence, "Because I didn't know. But I'm at one, right now. Oh god," I moan out, my heart stammering and I think I'm about to vomit, "How many people do you think has sneezed on the mouth piece, Jamie, is this even sanitary?" I'm so concerned about germs when I'm sober but I really hadn't cared much last night when I was sipping drinks from strangers, had I?

"Babe, are you having a panic attack?" He sounds more alert now, and of course not, I'm not having a panic attack, I'm just trapped in small box talking into a germ ridden phone while I might have ditched Matty Healy for the second time in less than four hours at most.

I tell him all this when I realize I've only thought it. "Jamie, I'm not having a panic attack, I'm just trapped in small box talking into a germ ridden phone while I might have ditched Matty Healy for the second time in less than four hours at most."

He goes silent for a bit and then "What?" There's some shuffling on his end of the line before he's speaking again. "This is so unfair, what the hell, how is it that you always meet him when I'm not around – this is complete and utter bullshit, Marcy," Jamie rants off on the other end of the line, and I'm panicking, my palms have gone sweaty and the space seems tighter around me and dammit, Jamie was right.

"I'm having a panic attack."

"Shit, just," He seems to be rummaging around, I can picture him hopping around on one leg, trying to balance his phone between his ear and shoulder while trying to put sneakers on or something. "Just, take a deep breath for me, can you do that?" I do, "Good, keep breathing Marcy, don't forget to breathe." any other time I would lash out at him for treating me like a child but it's soothing right now, somehow, and I'm really trying to focus on my breathing, his voice, anything but the current situation I'm in, but it's a bit of a challenge. "Do you want to give me an address? What street are you on?" I glance around before finding a street sign and I rattle off an address. The machine on the payphone tells me I'm running out of time, that I need a few more coins, so I struggle to find excess in my purse while listening to Jamie speak. "Do you want me to stay on with you? Do you want to tell me what exactly just happened?"

"Yes, please," I slip in a few coins in the slot, thankful that I always toss change from purchases in this purse and I lean back against the wall, only vaguely worrying now, about the germs coating the glass box. "I was having lunch with Anna, and Louise – the lilac girl from the club last night, she was working there, I think Anna has a thing for her."

I can practically hear his eyes roll, "Anna Likes anything with two legs and a pulse."

My eyebrows crinkle and frown, although he can't see me, "A bit hypocritical coming from you, no?"

"Probably," Jamie admits, somewhat disinterested. "Do continue."

-

I had turned around abruptly when I had heard his voice, only kind of aware of Anna and Louise stuttering behind me. I remember thinking, shit, I just admitted to Matty Healy that I was cheating on my boyfriend with him, then I remembered thinking, shit, Matty Healy was here.