Friends.

Chapter 34

"You really expect me to believe that you're over Harry? That's just insulting." He scoffs, shaking his head. Every ounce of hope I had that I could fix this is slowly slipping away from me.

"Yes, because I am. What more do I need to say? I want to be with you...please, before Niall's party we were in such a good place, I was so happy and I know you were too. We can be that happy again. You're the only good thing to come out of these past few months, but if you can just forgive me it will all be worth it. All the pain that Harry has put me through, and all the pain I caused you when I lied about Niall and Harry, it won't be in vain if you just forgive me, please." I strain my voice, moving closer to him on the couch and forcing his eyes to meet mine. This can't be it, he has to forgive me now. I won't get another chance. 

"You're just SUCH a hypocrite Lola, you said you wanted honesty and you were the one keeping these secrets, and now you expect me to believe you're over him?! No, I'm sorry but no. I am not going to get involved with you, and become attached to someone who's heart is pining after someone else. You might think you want me, but you don't. You think I'll make you happy, because I'm safer than if you were with Harry. I won't hurt you as bad as he did, that's why you want me. But I don't want to be someone's second choice!" He raises his voice yet again, running his hand through his hair. He doesn't want me. I told myself I would never beg someone to be with me, but here I am. Practically grovelling for him and I don't care, this is what I want and I will do whatever it takes. 

"You're not! You're not my second choice, you're my first. Don't you see? Harry has literally begged me to forgive him every day of last week, and I turned him down. I was wishing it was you! The whole time, everything he said meant nothing to me because it was coming from him, but I wanted it to be coming from you. You're my first choice, I will always choose you, I promise." My voice is desperate as I rapidly search my mind for something else I can say that will convince him. 

"Your promises mean nothing to me." 

His words ring through my mind, sounding oddly familiar to me but I can't pinpoint why. This isn't what's supposed to happen, I was meant to explain and he was meant to forgive me and we would've been happy. How naive. I should've realised it wouldn't be that easy. I've made horrible choices, and now I'm paying for them. 

"Let me prove that they do! You can trust me now, you know everything, I won't keep anything from you ever again. Let's start a fresh, you and me, no Harry, no Niall, no Gemma, I don't care about any of them if I don't have you. Harry means nothing to me and he knows that, Niall is just my friend, that's all. You have to believe me." I am borderline crying and I don't know how much  longer I can keep this up, I am running out of things to say and running out of reasons why I'm here. I hate being this girl who has to run after guys, why can't they fight for me for once? Or the right one fight for me...Harry doesn't count. 

"Why should I believe a word that comes out of your mouth?! You know you're just like him, don't you? What you did to me is just as bad as what he did to you!" Louis shouts and immediately my brain shuts down, my heart plummets and devastation washes over me. I am nothing like Harry.

I give up, if he thinks that little of me then there is nothing I can do to fix this, it's too far gone. That really hurt and it's taking every ounce of strength left in my tired body not to cry. I stand up off the couch to leave but Louis' hand wraps around my wrist, pulling me back onto the couch. 

"Where do you think you're going? I'm still deliberating." He says, his face inches from mine, a smirk on his perfect lips. 

Before I can ask what the hell he is talking about, his lips press against mine urgently, completley knocking the wind out of me. The shock doesn't last long as the sensation that spreads from his kiss makes my whole body feel like it's on fire.  This is completely different to every other kiss I've had with Louis, he is forceful and his tongue is invading my mouth so desperately in comparison to it's usual, gentle demeanor. I've missed him so much.