Heartbreaker In Disguise

Chapter 29

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Chapter 29

A KNOCK ON THE DOOR brought me back from my slumber. I moaned and opened my eyes lightly, only to see my dad leaning against the door.

"You've slept a lot, sweetie. Time to wake up."

"Five more minutes." I grumbled, as I shifted on my bed.

"If you keep don't wake up now, you won't be able to sleep at night."

Dad would always wake me up whenever he saw me sleeping in the afternoon, claiming I would 'ruin my body's biological clock', which was the reason for jet lag as well, according to him. He would then make me a cup of coffee so I could stay awake for the next couple of hours, just so I could fall asleep at night.

"Ugh, fine." I gave in.

That was the way it used to go.

Instead, I woke up at two in the morning after having fallen asleep at around six. I woke up sweaty and desperate, feeling suffocated and anxious. I lifted myself quickly and a sudden need to just leave took over me. My hands shook as I pulled a thick sweater out of the wardrobe, the first pair of shoes I could find and threw my cellphone in my pocket.

I walked out of my house and the cold invaded instantly, lowering the heat I was feeling and lowering the desperation that came along with it. I put the sweater on and started walking away from home, not really knowing where I was going. I pulled my cellphone out to look at the time, it was a quarter until three, which would probably lead to my body being found in a trench the next morning, nonetheless, that didn't fit in my mind at the time.

The streets were entirely empty, the light post being the only source of light. I was quickly reminded of the night David and I left that first party we went together and ended up going to a coffee shop late at night.

How things had changed since then...

I took a turn and watched the starless sky as my legs moved automatically, with no planned way to go. I walked and walked until I reached the bridge that went across the lake I passed by everyday on my way to school. I reached for the edge and looked at the pitch black freezing waters on the verge of becoming ice that extended in front of me. I threw my legs over the border and sat on top of the barrier, placing my hands on both sides and breathing deeply as the wind played with my hair.

It was silent and cold, which caused me to feel both at peace and despaired. I was the first time in a while I really felt alone ever since his death. It seemed like everyone felt the need to clean their conscience and be all over me. Despite the constant company, the only thing I seemed to truly enjoy was sleep.

Maybe eternal sleep wouldn't be so bad.

I stared down at the water again, considering the fall and considering the chances. I shook my head thoroughly to push the thought away. It wasn't time for my credits to roll yet.

I tried to wrap myself with my sweater tightly as the cold was starting to seep in through the fabric. I practiced my breathing until I started feeling free enough to let myself cry. And so thoughts of my dad stared to make their way through my head, the feelings I tried to suppress trying to break the sheer barricade I had built around them.

But then I turned around, distracted and blinded by the lights of a sudden car. I waited for the car to pass by, however, the driver turned the parking lights on as if someone else were to see them, since there was no one else, and finally lowered the intensity of the bright light that had been blinding me while putting the car to a halt.

I blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the white stains that were left in my sight that imitated the piercing lights.

The driver opened the door and jumped out of the car quickly, throwing the door roughly and causing me to cringe at how hard it closed. I soon recognized the person who approached me, his honey colored hair so known to me and his thin lips so familiar.

"Please don't do it." His eyes looked troubled and his hand was extended towards me in a manner of stopping me.

I frowned, do what? I seemed confused until I realized what it looked like. My feet dangled over the water as tears ran dawn my skin. I quickly passed my hands through my face and a laugh escaped my lips, yet, it sounded more bitter than I intended.

"No- I wasn't-- it's not what it looks like." I turned around and jumped off, returning to firm land, still shaken up because of the sudden interruption.

David walked towards me and, before saying another word, he hugged me tight, taking me by surprise. I hugged him back, still confused by his unexpected action.

"God, you scared me." He whispered.

"How did you find me?" I wondered out loud.

He let me go and stared at me, relief was evident in his gaze. His eyes shone with the light coming from the light posts and his hair was ruffled, as if he had been in bed before coming here.

"Snapchat friend map..."

He gave me a shy smile as a soft giggle escaped my lips. I wasn't sure what to do or say next, as a silence started to linger between us.

"I'm sorry." He suddenly said.

"For what?"

"I- I haven't exactly been there for you that much, I just- I should've tried harder, I-"

"No, no. David, stop." He looked at me deeply, his eyebrows starting so furrow, "It's not your fault at all, I'm the one who's been shutting you out... I-I've been shutting everyone out."

My eyes started to burn once more, tears preparing for the race down my cheeks. I tried to breath and call them off, but that only made it worse. As soon as the first tear escaped my eyes he pulled me into a hug and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"It's just been so hard..." I mumble into his chest, unable to contain it anymore.

We hugged until I seemed to finally calm down a little. I pulled away and passed my hands to dry my face, feeling embarrassed because of what I'd just done, but knowing nonetheless that he didn't mind at all. I turned back towards the water and rested my arms on the balustrade, David soon followed and stood next to me, placing his hand on top of mine and caressing it.

"You'll heal." He said, his words striking even though they were so simple.

I breathed in deeply, staring at our hands as everything finally seemed to become clear for the first time in a really long while.

"I know..." I turned towards him and let his hand go, "Just not here."

It might not be time for my ending credits to roll yet, but it was time for a new scene; a change of scenery.

"I need to leave."

"Oh, sure. I'll drive you back-"

I shook my head and looked into his raven colored eyes.

"No, David. I need to leave."