Hickeys | Ethan Dolan

ch. twenty

The next morning, I sat in my car in the school parking lot. Everything around me was so livid and bright looking, but I was the total opposite. I was gloomy and dark.

I ran through my phone and wavered over my mom's contact name. I looked up to look for Wesley, Ethan, Julie, Ivy, or even Grayson.

No one showed. No one cared.

I hit her name and waited. It rang twice before her sweet voice filled my ears.

"Hayden!" She squealed. "Hey, sweetheart."

"Hey, mama." I said my best with a weak smile.

"You sound glum. What happened?" I loved hearing my mom speak.

I looked up at the building and saw Ethan standing with Grayson and Ivy. He turned his head at my car and his smile faded. I knew he couldn't see me due to my tint and the distance.

"I just miss you and daddy." I replied.

She cleared her throat totally oblivious to the fact that something was completely wrong. "Well, your father and I were thinking about flying you out here to France for a few days." I winced. This was the start of bad news.

"I don't think I can. But why?" I already knew the answer.

"Your father might have a permanent job." She paused. "Here, in France."

I closed my eyes and sighed. My world was falling apart. I can't keep Ethan, I can't shake Wesley, I can't beat Julie, and I can't live my life anymore.

I just can't.

"Hayden?" My mom called.

I opened my eyes again. I felt so empty inside. Nothing really mattered anymore now. I hung up the phone without saying goodbye and grabbed my stuff to start another eight hour day in the same building.

I walked slowly to the building passed the group of people I love. They all stopped talking when they heard me approaching. My fake smile fell into a real frown.

I picked up my speed and huffed into the building. Light footsteps followed me. I didn't bother to turn around.

"Go away." I muttered.

"I can't." Ethan whispered.

Wonder where I thought of that.

I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him. "Neither can I."

"What are you talking about?" He furrowed his brows and gripped the straps to his backpack.

I rolled my eyes. "I can't do this. Us. I can't study with you. I can't talk to Wesley. I can't beat Julie at her own stupid game. And I sure as hell can't stand the fact that I'm trying my best to be strong, but my last support beam named Ethan let me go to fall back down to the ground on my face." I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into a excess dark hallway. He wiped away my tears with his thumb.

"It's okay. Talk to me." He whispered.

I laughed getting pissed off. "You can't do that." I quoted his words from yesterday.

"Do what?"

"Tell me to leave you alone, think about what I want, but change your mind within twelve hours of making the decision." I stared at the people passing through.

Hopefully, one of them was having a better day than me.

"I know. I shouldn't have done that. I'm stupid. I don't want you to leave me alone. I can't make you choose. You need me." Ethan tried to pull me into a hug, but I rejected.