Vanilla And Cocoa

Chapter 29 "By Your Side"

Justin and I didn't have time to discuss our recent change in our relationship with him going through withdrawals and me being busy with school and taking care of Merissa.

And when I did see him, he was in pain or tired.

The first day I'd seen him during his withdrawals, he looked horrible. His skin was pale as it shined with sweat with a thinly veiled pain filled smile on his lips.

Merissa chatted animatedly as Justin tried to keep up with her excitement. When desperation and guilt started to become prominent in his eyes, I knew it was about time for Merissa to leave the room.

I prompted her to go sit outside of the room with my mom for a bit while Justin and I had some talking time. She gave a disappointed frown but did so, anyway.

I waited a second before turning to Justin who already had his hands covering his face with his head bowed.

"Justin..."

"Don't." A muffled word, irritation covered it like a blanket.

I sighed and moved over to his bedside, grabbing his closest hand and removed it from his face. I wasn't surprised when he gripped it like it was his lifeline.

We were left in silence before Justin decided to speak up. "How can she still smile like that after all that she's been through?"

I stayed quiet.

"She's so bright. She has so much potential and she's stuck with her shitty ass family. Why doesn't she hate me? I hate myself so much for so many things and yet..." He choked off a sob and covered his mouth with his other hand.

"What if I can do this, Destiny?" He whispered.

I sat on the edge of the bed and met his gaze. I slowly reached it out and wipe a tear trail away with my thumb. "Now, you listen to me, you will push past this. You have so many people willing to help you back on your feet. Merissa needs her big brother to watch her grow, help her do her homework, drive her to prom, to be there. If you can't bring yourself to do it for you, do it for the people waiting for you to get better. Do you understand me?"

He sniffed. "I understand."

"Good," I smiled. "You've got a sibling out there waiting to talk to her older brother. You feeling up for it?"

"I'll try." He offered what he thought seemed like a positive smile but it actually looked strained.

But I was satisfied. We managed to give Justin the push he needed to get through the day. That was enough.

Later, in the week, I brought Merissa with me again. Justin didn't even bother to greet us when we walked in. We took a seat near the bed and he cracked an eyelid open to look at us.

"Hey." I breathed out.

His lips twitched upwards at the sight of us. Merissa bloomed a bright smile that practically glowed and Justin's smile grew.

"Do you feel better?"

"I feel like shit." He croaked and I raised eyebrow at him. "Sorry, Merissa. I'm just so tired I can't bring myself to care about censoring."

I rolled my eyes as Merissa squirmed in my lap. I loosened my arms around her and she hopped up to climb on the bed. Justin groaned at the weight and Merissa frowned, preparing to move back off.

"No, no. It's fine. Sit down. My body just hurts a bit."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

Justin sighed. "I've been vomiting all week and the doctor said something about me losing the weight I gained from the drugs."

"Oh, that sucks."

"This whole situation sucks." Justin whispered.

"Are you coming home soon?" Merissa asked.

Justin mustered up a smile. "Two more days."

"...don't you think you should stay a bit longer?" I asked hesitantly and I ended up being on the end of two disapproving looks.

"I want to go home."

I sighed. "I know you want to go home, Justin, but staying a bit might be a better choice."

"I don't want Justin to stay." Merissa huffed.

"Merissa has the right idea." I sat back in the chair, defeated.

"Fine." Merissa and Justin traded triumphant grins and I couldn't help but smile.

The next day, Justin looked marginally better and we talked a bit before the doctor pulled me out of the room. I told Merissa and Justin to behave teasingly before I left.

The same doctor from before met me outside and smiled at me. "Hello, Destiny. You look well."

"I hope so," I leaned against the wall casually. "What's up, Doc?"

Her smile widened at the phrase and slightly shook her head. "Let me not waste your time. Justin is recovering nicely and I'm pretty sure he'll be able to go home tomorrow if he wants to,"

"He does, I'm sure."

"I just wanted to give some advice if he does go home. The worst of his withdrawals will be over by next week but it won't simply be over. This next month will be very hard for him. Try to keep him away from anything or any place that might tempt him into relapsing. Putting him in an positive environment will make his recovery period easier,"

She paused, letting me soak the information in and I nodded. "He may get easily irritated from time to time but please stay calm with him. It's merely an effect. His depression will sometimes cause him to have crying spells. If that happens, offer him comfort. He'll have might insomnia and mood swings are very common. And...his suicidal thoughts may come back."

My blood ran cold and the doctor put a hand on my shoulder. "I may not know for sure but, as Justin has told me time and time again, he does not want to do that again."

I slowly relaxed and she continued. "I would recommend that he also participates in group therapy or a proper rehab center."

"Okay." I whispered.

"You're doing fine. It's so sweet of you all to stick by his side in a time like this. I've seen so many overdose patients lose everything during their recovery period. It's so nice to see something like this."

"He's too important to us."

Her eyes softened. "Remind him of that."

I smiled at her and she backed away. "I'll look forward to seeing you and everyone else tomorrow. Have a nice evening."

"You too." I watched as she walked away and I entered the room again.

My heart warmed at the sight of Merissa curled up at Justin's side, leg draped over his chest. Justin had a arm over Merissa and his mouth was parted slightly.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I walked over and stood next to the bed. I reached out and smoothed Merissa's hair down gently. I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, repeated the same action to Justin.

"You're coming home tomorrow."

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Y'all, I'm so sorry. My writers block kicked me in the ass and, not to mention, I started school a week earlier than everyone else smh

Anyway, enjoy this chapter so I can suffer for another week or so.