Tenth

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Bea

Home. That's what I feel since I woke up even I am not in my own room. Even, the scent is not what I used to smell while I'm on my deep sleep. Even, after a long time someone is sleeping beside me now. I feel home even I am with Jhoana. Not Alex.

I waited for her, last night. I came here just to talk. To end all confusions she has in mind. To lie to her. And yes, to end things but with a promise to come back when everything is already clear to me.

Then I saw him kissed her. From then, I realized I couldn't live with it unless I go away. But are these all real? I was so in love with Alex. Is that even possible to fall out of love with someone that easy? Alex became my world, is it right to feel like it's already crashing?

Until I kissed her then it happened.

I hugged her and inhaled her scent.

"Because I'm home."

I heard no response but after few seconds ay narinig ko na ang hikbi niya.

Hinawakan ko sya sa balikat, she's just looking down. I reached for her face para tingnan nya ko. She's crying.

"Ba-ba-bakit ka umiiyak?" I am so confused.

Umiling lang sya at yumuko ulit.

"Hey, Jho. Look at me." Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang pumatak na sa pisngi niya. "Please don't cry. Just tell me what's wrong."

Tatlong malalim na paghinga ang binitawan nya before she smiled at me.
"You have no idea how long I've waited for this, Bea. I mean, you being ready to talk about us."

That breaks my heart. Surely, I have no idea how long I've been hurting her.

I hold her hand, "Let's start, then. Come."

"Bea, you know that we can also talk in my unit, right?" Nagtataka nyang tanong when we're already standing on my doorsteps.

"Yup. Pero kung gusto mo malaman ang lahat ng tungkol sakin, I prefer my place."

"How sure are you na gusto ko pang may malaman sa'yo?"

I looked at her again to check if she's serious. "Come on, Jhoana. Eyes don't lie, remember?"

When we came in, two pairs of eyes are looking at us. Jana with her meaningful look. While the other woman shifted her gaze to our intertwined fingers. 

Jana stood up at lumapit agad sakin. "You haven't checked your phone, have you?" she whispered. "You idiot."

Tiningnan ko si Jhoana and I know that she's nervous. I gently squeezed her hand to make her feel that everything's okay.

I slowly walked towards the woman sitting on my couch.

"I didn't expect this visit, Tita."

"I figured. You look-- tensed. Hindi rin naman ako magtatagal. May gusto lang akong sabihin sa'yo." she stood up & looked at Jho.

I nodded at tumingin kay Jana. "Boo, Jho and I were planning to buy some ingredients for lunch later. Pwede bang ikaw na lang muna sumama sa kanya?"

"Yeah, sure! Let's go Jho." They were about to go nang tawagin ulit sya.

"Uh no, that's fine Jana, dear!" I gave this woman a questionable look.
What are you trying to do.

"Like what I said, Bea, hindi rin ako magtatagal dito. I just wanna tell you something. And Jana being your bestfriend can surely hear what I have to say. And her," she pointed at Jho. "I assumed your girlfriend, should definitely hear it as well. It would be much better if she knows."

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