"You're probably walking down the aisle now, but I just had to tell you how much I wished you didn't go through this wedding. You don't have to do it. You can choose your own happiness instead of sacrificing it for him. "
"If you ever want to talk...
"A baby?" Rachel asked in shock, as we were drinking coffee.
"Yeah," I sighed, leaned back and took a sip, barely able to pull myself together.
"But, how?"
I looked at her under the eye, as if I was saying Seriously? How? And she just waved her head, got up and started pacing across the room. "So, what now? Is he gonna... what's he gonna do?" She had a million question and I had zero answers. All I could do was just shrug, and wave my head clueless as I was.
While Rachel was so nervous and disturbed, I was oddly calm. Just sitting on the sofa, indulging a cup of coffee, I was unable to completely grasp the fact that I've actually just ruined my future. Rachel was always restless and quite anxious when she had to deal with serious problems, and this time was no different.
"Would you please stop roaming around, you're gonna make me nervous as well," I asked and closed my eyes for the moment, trying to think straight.
"So, what are you going to do now? What is Jared gonna do? Is he ..."
"I don't know, Rachel. Stop asking me that. And would you please be a little more concerned about my well-being than J ..." I paused there, not wanting to speak his name again, "... that slime ball's life!" I almost shouted, and my hands started to shake, making me nearly spill the coffee. I guess my nerves were starting to fire up.
"OK, OK, sorry..." Rachel was a little scared and worried once she saw my reaction, "I won't say a word about him anymore."
"I can't believe this is happening, " I said desperately, " I should've listened to you back in Mexico," sighing deeply I leaned my head against the back of the sofa, covering my face with my hands. "You saw through him immediately, and you warned me he was trouble. Not to mention I was cheating on that wonderful man I had been engaged to. I'm such a fool."
"You're not a fool. You just..." Rachel sat next to me trying to console me.
"Oh no? Cheating on a fiancé, running away from a wedding to another continent only to realize I was left without a single thing here; not to mention I am also homeless. That doesn't sound foolish to you? " I asked and stood up starting to stride the room. Standing next to the window, I crossed my arms over my chest, and looked at the calm streets of LA suburbs. The rain was slowly falling, and with a gentle wind outside it had painted the perfect picture of my current state of mind.
"Maybe it is a bit foolish, but we're all inclined to at least one stupid thing in our lives. Jared was yours and now you are at least safe there will be no more similar mistakes," Rachel tried to make this less painful, but she might as well have spoken to a wall. I didn't need or was able to accept a consolation. I felt like my entire world was crumbling down but I knew there was not much time for me to grieve and pity myself. I needed to take a grip and come back to reality.
"You know I hate making mistakes, and have someone make a fool out of me," I responded still looking through a window
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"And the worst thing of all is that I've always known celebrities would take us for a ride. How on earth could I have thought my life would be better with J... him, I'll never know," I leaned my arm against the window and rested my head on my forearm, taking a deep breath.
"You'll be OK," Rachel came to me, and tapped my shoulder, "You just need a few days to adjust, and in time, this will all just be a bad memory."
"Yeah, probably..." I turned around and hugged her, "Thanks for always being there for me."
"Of course, who else would I take care of," we both giggled, knowing I never needed anyone's help to take care of me. I was the most independent, strong and confident woman we've all known, but now I was in trouble because I fell in love. Stupid, stupid heart of mine.
Jared's POV
"Just stop crying, and sit down. We need to talk," I took Francheska by a forearm and led her to the sofa. We sat next to each while she was calming down little by little.
"I'm sorry..." she sniffled and still cried, trying to hold on the tears, but I guess the pregnancy just added up to the whole sensitivity.
"Why did you do it? Do you have any idea how big a mess you've made? My girl...," I just stopped there for a minute not wanting to tell too much to her, "Never mind... just tell me, why did you do it?"
"Look, my life is nothing like my sister's, OK," she looked at me with eyes filled with tears and anger, "I have always been the rebel, the black sheep of the family and Mikaela was a sweet little angel."
"And what does all that have to do with me?"
"I knew how much you two liked each other, so I thought I could pose as her and lead you to believe you're the father. You two were together at the time I got pregnant, so ..."
"Great plan," I said sarcastically, "But did you seriously think I wouldn't notice you weren't Mikaela? It took me less than two encounters to realize you two were not the same person."
"Well, I didn't think you two knew each other that well... plus Mikaela and I weren't so close for the past couple of years. We might look the same, but we are completely different on the inside."
"I've noticed," I huffed and got up, "So what's with the father of the baby?"
"He wants nothing to do with me, I screwed up and he just..."
"What did you screw up?"
"Well, you know... the pill and all..."
"He holds you responsible for this? You do realize you weren't having sex with yourself, right? He's as much to "blame" for this as you are."
"I know, but he told me he doesn't want kids with me or at all and I was desperate afterwards."
"And what about your family?"
"They don't know a thing. I haven't spoken to my parents for more than a year, so I thought if I come to you, we could just ... " then she started to cry again, "... oh my God I'm such an idiot."
No kidding, I thought to myself but couldn't bear to tell her that. "OK, don't cry again. Look, no matter how bad things between you and your parents are, you need to tell them you're pregnant. I'm sure they'll be there for you."
"No! My father would disown me immediately, and I could never bare the look in my mother's eyes. This would be just another disappointment for them."
"And what about Mikaela? She could help you with the baby, and maybe even lessen the blow with the parents?"
"I haven't really thought about talking to her... plus she's still in Africa and I have no idea when she'll be back," the desperate girl buried her face in her hands and started sobbing again.
"Don't cry, that can't be good for the baby," I sat next to her and gave her a hug, "I'll try to help you, but you're gonna have to help me too. Deal?" I asked and rubbed her back while she was still in my arms.
She pulled away and looked at me with eyes full of tears, nodded and smiled gratefully taking my hands into hers.
"OK then, we're on a mission," I said and tapped her hands. Then I reached for my phone to call Nicole. I dialed the number, and with every digit I typed, my heart raced faster and faster. I needed to hear her voice, and know she'll at least let me try to explain everything.
"C'mon, baby, pick up," I exhaled, and closed my eyes, desperately waiting for her to answer the phone. After it rang twice, the voicemail answered.
"Damn, it!" I yelled and threw the phone on the bed. I huffed for a minute, paced across the room while I ran my fingers through my hair, gripping my scalp so hard it felt like I was gonna pull out all the hair.
Well, today I may have heard her voice on a machine, but tomorrow she might be the one to actually answer. All I knew was that I was not going to give up on us. Ever.
