Say You Won't Let Go

The Final Words

"Running." I say as I pound my head against the desk. "Out." I lift my head up, whacking it back down. "Of." I groan, raising my head then dropping it once more. "Time."

"For?" Normani asks softly, her feet propped up on her desk which is right beside mine. She twirls her pencil around her fingers as she looks at me.

"Everything." I mutter, finally giving my brain a rest and setting my head down gently on the surface of the wooden table.

"And yet, you still finished your math sheet." Normani places her finger on my worksheet in front of me.

I scoff, rolling my eyes and wrapping my arms around myself. "No, I didn't. All I did was write my name on it."

"Exactly."

Normani laughs at her own joke which makes the shadow of a smile run across my face. But the darkness falls, blending the shadows in with reality.

Lauren hasn't been to school in a week and a half. So that means, we haven't talked in about ten days. I've been seriously worrying about her. She hasn't made any effort to contact me.

Dinah has been practically ripping her hair out. She is so scared and she's just been a huge mess. That is a sign in itself that Lauren clearly hasn't gotten better.

For me?

I'm not sure. I just feel detached from everything and really lost, but today, that's all changing. After school, I'm going over to Lauren's house and talking to her.

She can't ignore me forever.

And if she doesn't answer her door, I'll just sit out there until she does. I don't care anymore. I just want to know she is okay. Desperation is clawing at my lungs and I can't help it. I can't breathe without her.

'Mistake' has faded from her locker in the week and a half she hasn't been at school, but I can tell it's still bold in her heart. I want to be the one to rub the poison ink out from her bloodstream.

The bell rings and it makes my heart jump. I immediately follow up by stuffing all my supplies back into my backpack and wrap my arms around Normani's body and give her a messy kiss on the cheek.

"I have to go!" I yell, waving before running out of the classroom. As I'm running out of the front doors, I shoot Dinah a quick text saying that I can't walk home with her today.

She will understand.

I ignore the beads of rain sprinkling down when I get outside; all I do to prevent them is lazily zip up my jacket. Sprinting down the sidewalk, I step in a puddle. The water splashes around but I leave it in the past.

Cars zoom by, their bright lights shining through the raindrops. Miami residents clearly aren't prone to the rain, as many angry drivers honk their horns. Being from Seattle, I'm used to the rain.

My backpack undulates with me as I run, going up every time I take a leap forward. Normally, I'd ignore running or any type of physical activity but for Lauren, I'd do anything.

I pass by my house, ignoring the open window and bolting right past. Rounding the corner, I see Lauren's house. Her lawn is freshly mowed and the garden looks fairly nice, but one flower has died. It droops sadly to the side.

My eyes linger on the dead beauty. For some reason, it makes me stop in my tracks. The sight makes my heart grow with anticipation. It swirls around and beats against the walls of my hope.

I tear my eyes from the plant, bounding up to Lauren's doorstep and clenching my fingers into a fist. I let my knuckles linger above the wooden door.