The One I Love || Newt-TMR

Chapter 46

3 days.

It had only been 3 days of helping Newt as Second in Command, and I was already feeling the effects taking place.
I had to be up early in the morning: much earlier than I ever had to wake up. Newt assured me that he would always wake up that time each time I groaned at the light morning sun burning my eyes.
My muscles burned and ached with each minute movement from running between jobs, as Newt often did when there was nothing else needed to be done. Apparently he was often needed in the Gardens for his strength and endurance, but with me now taking his place more than often, the work load only seemed to grow each day.

Luckily, I had Chuck to keep me company most hours of the day, his bubbly persona keeping me motivated. Until he was chased away by one of the Keepers.
Then there were the arguments. Boys had so many issues with each other it was unbelievable. And with me stepping in for Newt, many of the boys protested, testing my patience and limits further each day.

But I wasn't going to complain. After all, I was doing this to help Newt, and he certainly wouldn't feel good if I complained.
It wasn't all bad though. I did get to spend more time with Newt during the day while we worked, which made up for all the time lost at night. I wouldn't even have the strength to stay awake during dinner, and more often I was finding myself melting into the mattress and drifting off into sleep. Only later would I wake when Newt joined me, carefully sliding into bed and wrapping and arm around my waist.

"Tomorrow, you go back to being just a Medjack." Newt insisted through a stern voice laced with concern.

"Nu-uh." I muttered, half asleep. I rolled over to face Newt, nuzzling my face into his warm chest. The steady thud of his heart sent me further to sleep, until the rumble of his words bright me back to reality.

"Please, Rosie. You are exhausted: this isn't fair on you." Said Newt.

"No I'm not. I'm fine, everything is fine." I slurred, trailing off as I battled off sleep.

"No you're not. I can see you are overworked, just like you promised you wouldn't do."

"But I have to help. It's not fair that you do it all on your own." I argued, yawning.

"It's not fair that I let you do this to yourself. All over me." Newt whispered the last part.

"What's that s'posed to mean?" I asked, feeling sleep drift away as I gained more control over my senses.

"It means that that you shouldn't bother with me. I'm supposed to be the one who protects you, but I'm being selfish and letting my Greenie overwork herself!" Newt answered with a heaviness to his words, as if there were a whole other meaning to what he said.

"Newt, you need to understand that you can't do everything all the time. It's just not possible. I told you before, you need to be selfish every now and then; let people take care of you." Newt remained silent, thinking. "Do you remember what I said to you, the night we danced?" I added, after the silence grew.

"No, not really." He replied blandly.

"I told you that you need to learn to love yourself before you love those around you."

"Are you saying I'm not aloud to love you?" There was a hint of seriousness in Newt's words.

"Of course not. I love that you love me. What I meant was that it's very difficult to love and enjoy others when your constantly putting yourself down." I explained, drawing patterned on Newt's chest.

"How do I love someone else when I can't even love myself?" Newt asked desperately.

"How about we aim for accepting yourself. It's hard to love yourself, but accepting is another thing."

"How do I do that?"

"That's the thing; I don't know. The only thing I know is you can't accept yourself unless your actually want to. I know you can though, because you're my Newt; the sweetest, strongest and bravest man I know." I encouraged. As silence filled the air, my thoughts began to wander.

"You really have that much bloody faith in me, don't you?" Newt questioned, his voice low and quiet.

"Of course. After all, I love you enough to see how strong you really are. I know you can do it."

"At least one of us believes that." Newt muttered, his breath tickling my skin.

"Newt-"

"Could we please just get some sleep? You're too tired to be playing psychologist." Newt almost sneered. I was too shocked to respond. I had never known Newt to lash out like that, but with the stress of Second in Command, I guessed it was inevitable.