Excerpts From Stories I'll Never Write

To and From - Excerpt

Christopher,

I've moved on from you. I've moved far on, and I'm writing this to you, not because I still love you, but because nobody's ever told you this.

You know how I say everyone's name means something? Well, this is what your's means.

C is for crying. Little did you know, every time you'd wake up next to a crying me, you were the reason those tears were falling down my face.

H is for hate. You truly hated me, didn't you? All of it was a lie. The kisses and the hugs were all lies.

R is for resentment. You were the only person I have ever opened up to about my resentment for my birth father, and now that I think of it, you're the one I should be resenting.

I is for ink. Remember all the little notes you'd write for me, and you'd sign your name in that perfect cursive handwriting of yours? Also, remember the day you handed me one addressed to a Rebecca, and the ink hadn't even dried?

S is for shaking. Every time I speak to you, my voice would be shaking. Not because I'm scared of you, but because I loved you and cared about you so much that I was nervous of ruining all that. Now, you're the one shaking because you should've known that cheating on a girl is wrong.

T is for trust. Or more like the lack of. I trusted you at the beginning...with everything in my life. And you betrayed that.

O is for one. We shared so many "one" moments. You were the one guy I actually set a picture of us as my lockscreen. You were the one guy I've ever opened up to. I guess I wasn't your one girl.

P is for pain. The emotional pain you put me through has no words. That's all. You can't fix scars, Christopher.

H is for hugs. Circling back, the hugs that were lies? The hugs after panic attacks when you told me you'd always be there? Well where were you? Not with me, that's for sure.

E is for everyone. Cheating on me and hurting me hurt everyone around me as well. You sent me into pure depression, and my family was so concerned about me that they almost sent my cousin out to go fight you.

R is for rain. Your exact words on our first date when I was sad it was pouring rain were "Well, you get to be my first kiss in the rain." And I almost forgot to mention that I was dancing in the rain with you when at the same time, you were kissing another girl in that same downpour.

So that's it. That's all of it.

That's what you mean to me.

Best wishes,
Taylor