The Girl You Think I Am - Anthony Rizzo

Chapter 23

FEBRUARY 18TH, 2018

It's baseball time once again, but this time, Anthony and I have Jacob along for the ride. He's two months old now and talking (baby talk) up a storm, loving up on his mommy and daddy any chance he gets. He can hold his head up on his own, he's going to be a strong boy when he gets older.

We got here a couple of days ago and we've just been getting settled in and getting Jacob used to his surroundings. "Babe are you coming to the park today?" Anthony asked as I was in our bedroom feeding Jacob.

"I didn't think I could. What's going on today?" I asked as he sat next to me on the bed. "They're doing a spring training family day so we all can catch up and everything." He said and I smiled. "Of course we'll go. It'll be fun and Jacob can see his girlfriend." I said with a laugh.

"Yes he can, we're going to leave in an hour, so once Jacob is done feeding, you go get ready." He said and I smiled. "He's actually done now, so burp him and change him." I said as he pulled away from my nipple, I was breastfeeding, and handed him to Anthony.

"You still look beautiful as you breastfeed babe." He said as he kissed me. I had been extremely hormonal lately so my sex drive has been crazy. "Don't start what you can't finish babe." I said as I walked into the bathroom.

"You've been all about sex lately what's up with that?" He asked as he followed me into the bathroom. "Hormones, they don't go away after you have a baby you know." I said and he laughed. "Well tonight when this little guy goes to bed, you have me all to yourself."

I winked at him and then he went into Jacob's nursery to burp him and change him. I couldn't wait till later. Anthony and I haven't been intimate since Jacob was born, we just didn't have a lot of time to do it. But since he's sleeping through the night now, it'll be a lot easier.

I shaved and did everything in the shower and then got out and changed into jeans, a Cubs shirt and some converse while straightening my hair and doing minimal makeup. "Looking so laid back today and all of us are matching." Anthony said as I walked back into our bedroom.

I looked at the three of us and sure enough, we all had the same shirt on, jeans and converse. "Oh my goodness, we do all match! It's so cute!" I said as I went over to the both of them and took Jacob so I could put him in his car seat.

"So are you excited about this year?" I asked as he was driving over to the complex. "I'm excited about every year, but now that we have another started to replace Lackey, it's going to be even better." He said with a smile.

"Another world series title in the future?" I asked. "I hope so. It's only February so it's too soon to tell." He said. He's been so optimistic every spring training and he's just so humble during this whole process and it just makes me happy knowing that I found the right guy who isn't involved in anything he shouldn't be.

Just thinking about what Sam did to me back in the day, I just can't imagine what it would be like if I was with him now. Anthony is so good to me, just to think about going back to what I was in, scared the living shit out of me.

"What are you thinking about babe?" Anthony asked as he pulled into a parking spot at the stadium. "Just thinking about how my life would be if I had stayed with Sam." I said as I looked at him. "Why would you be thinking about that?" He asked.

"Because of how well everything is going with us. It just makes me happy to have a guy like you to make me happy like he never did. It just makes me wonder. Ya know?" I asked and he smiled and leaned over and kissed me.

"I love you Paisley and what you have endured with him makes you the strongest woman I know. Please don't think about the life you could've had with him. It makes me sick to think he could still be abusing you and you could've possibly had a kid with him. So please, babe, don't do that." He said and I let a few tears slip.

"God, this is why I love you. So much." I said as I kissed him. "No more sulking in your feels. Let's go have some fun." He said and I smiled and we both got out of the car. He got Jacob and I got his diaper bag.

"Paisley!" Jess yelled as soon as we came into view and came over and hugged me. "Oh where's my little guy?" She asked going up to Anthony and then taking him out of his car seat. "Oh he's so cute! Wait, where's mine?" Jess asked looking around for Kris.

"I don't know, I'll go find him." Anthony said as he kissed the side of my head. "How was the honeymoon?" I asked as we stood there. "It was amazing. Cabo is the nicest place ever and that's where you should go on your honeymoon." She said and then the two boys walked back with Sabrina.

"Awe aren't they the cutest couple." I said as I took Sabrina away from Kris and putting the two kids next to each other. "Okay stand together and I'll take a picture." Anthony said getting out my phone of the diaper bag and then taking a picture of Jess and I and the babies.

"Are you ready for a season with a baby?" Jess asked as the boys took the kids to meet everyone else. "I mean yeah, I think I can handle it. But now I think I'm going to be traveling with Anthony since we know how good of a baby he is. What about you?"I asked her.

"I mean, you saw how she was at the wedding, she prefers Kris over me. She only wants me when I'm feeding her, sometimes. I just feel like a bad mom." She said and I hugged her right away. "You're not a bad mom Jess. Don't think that. You're just figuring everything out." I said.

"But you're so good with it and you're a first time mom too, how?" She asked. "I have two younger siblings, I used to help my mom with them. It just comes natural to some people. It's all going to get better I promise Jess." I said as I gave her a final hug.

"What's going on with Jess?" Anthony asked as it was now just the two of us. "She thinks she's a bad mom and I reassured her that she isn't. I think she's envious of how good Jacob is, but she didn't say that. That's just my observation." I said and I leaned my head against Anthony's shoulder.

"I mean I think I can see that too but we can't judge about how they parent to the way we parent you know?" He asked and I just nodded thinking about it all. I couldn't help but want to help Jess get this whole parenting thing down before the regular season came.

It's hard being a first time mom and thinking you're not good enough, I'm just glad that I have Anthony to support me through everything and I'm grateful beyond belief.