skinny love

six

"Well, I know who put those marks in our cul de sac now." My dad walked to the dining room table with a newspaper in hand. He had a suit and tie on. My dads a workaholic. Better than an alcoholic I suppose.
"Who dear?" My mom grabbed the paper and flipped through it.  I get my looks from her. She has dark curly hair and bright blue eyes.
"The Newtons supposedly. Their son is a careless rebel. George two streets down is their neighbor. The son owns an old beat up motorcycle. Loud parties, yelling. He said he wouldn't be surprised it's their son. James or whatever his name is." My dad sipped his coffee
"Jimmy. His name is Jimmy." I coughed
"You know this Jimmy, Ruby?" My mom peeked up from the paper
"He's a senior. I see him on his motorcycle. He offered me a ride yesterday. " can't keep your mouth shut can you? Always telling mom and dad everything.
"I don't ever want you hanging out with that boy. He's bad news. He's trouble." My dad shook his head ," I'm gonna be in trouble if I don't leave soon."
My dad left for work soon after.
"So, tell me about Jimmy." My mom kept her focus on the paper
"I don't really know him. Just that, he's Jimmy and he's a year older than me and he has a motorcycle." I shrugged. I turned my head to the fireplace. I crave fall mornings. Hot coffee, spice bread, warm sweaters.
"Well you know him enough you have his name."
"Mom, its nothing. I don't even talk to him ever. Nor would I." I shook my head
"Alright. Whatever you say Ruby Juby." My mom sighed
I walked upstairs and grabbed my camera and coat. I walked outside and hopped on my bike. I rode on the sidewalk and memorized the way the snow so carefully fell.
"Well well well." I sharply turned my head, still pedaling ahead.
"Jimmy?"
"Hey watch where you going Ruby!" I felt my bike tire slip and I fell sideways. "Are you okay?" He grabbed my arm and helped me up
"I'm fine." I shook loose his grip and made sure my camera was okay.
"I didn't take you as a photographer." He smiled
I looked at my bike and picked it back up.
"Okay I get you might not be interested but you don't have to purposely ignore me. Just say it okay."
"Say what?" I looked back at him
"That your not interested." He shrugged
I shook my head and hopped on my bike.
"Well can I at least have an answer?" He walked up to me hastily
"Look, I'm not allowed to talk to you." I tried to avoid eye contact
"What? Why?" His face showed hurt and anger ," it's because I ride a motorcycle?"
"Strict parents."
"That's stupid. They never even gave me a chance. Nobody gives me a chance. All they see is drunkards son." He shoved his hands in his pocket and looked down, still walking by me
"What do you mean?" I looked at him with a confused face
"Thought you weren't allowed to talk to me." He looked at the flock of birds fly by. I looked down and bit my lip. Why was this so hard? Trying to not talk to him? It's usually my forte, being quiet.
"My dad, he was, and still is, an alcoholic. Every night I remember coming home to him and my mom fighting, screaming bloody murder at each other. Every night I'd watch him abuse my mom. The only happy memory I remember with my dad is when he got arrested. I remember my mom crying gets of joy. She was so happy to be...free. She didn't have to worry about him."
"Where is he now?"
"I don't know, and I don't care. He ruined my life and my reputation. Nobody gives me a chance, nobody trusts me." He shrugged and studied my face.
"But he's your dad. I mean, you can have hatred towards him but you'll always love him. He will always care for you."
"No. You don't understand," he stopped walking, "if he cared about me, he wouldn't have came home drunk. If he really cared, he would've made my mom abort me."
"Jimmy don't say that. Of course he cares."
"Shut up Ruby you have no idea how bad it was! You've been given everything your whole life! You have parents who are happily married, your drop dead gorgeous you don't have to worry about reputation or being known by something. Once you've gone though life, give me a call." I could see hot tears well up in his eyes
I stood there, not sure what to do.
The lump in my throats grew and a tears fell from my eye.
He shook his head and turned around and walked back to wherever he came from.
The tears kept rolling and I could feel my heart being shattered. Dropped onto the hard ice and broken into millions of microscopic pieces. And I couldn't put it back together, no one was there to help me.