A Series Of Letters {Adopted by Palaye Royale}

Chapter Thirty-Five

Ma Chérie calms me. The words, the beat, the softness of Remington's voice as he sings it. My head is resting on his chest, listening to his even, calming heartbeat. His voice in my ear recites that anxiety-murdering song in my ear. 

"But you want...nothing to do with me,"

"That song's sad."

"But you're calm, aren't you?" I crack a smile. I hear him start humming a familiar tune, but my ears will tune in when they're ready. I shift my body and cuddle into Remington's side, shutting my eyes in content and humming peacefully. 

"Time,"

It's Clockwork. Caden's favorite.

"Seasons change, colors fade,"

His voice is level, raspy, and calming. It's not yelling, it's soft and easy going. It's keeping me calm. It's keeping me out of panic. I love him so much.

"No way out....of what you're going to be,"

Yesterday Sebastian drove me to UCLA Santa Monica, where I'll be delivering in just twenty-four weeks. I met with the OB/GYN team there and we went over the plans. I want to be medicated, who I want to be in the room, everything. They're all ready if I go early. I could go as early as twenty-five weeks. I pray that won't happen. Then Baby Kropp probably wouldn't make it. I need them to have a healthy life. Full term, or close to it, is what I'm hoping for.

"Go to sleep, baby girl." Remington whispers as he sees me yawn once more. He rubs my shoulder and I stay against his chest. "Tomorrow's a big day."

"Thanksgiving," I speak before yawning once more. "Anyways...goodnight Remmi. I love you,"

"Goodnight, honey. I love you, too,"

########

The first thing I notice is the smell of food baking downstairs. It smells incredible. My stomach grumbles. My eyes land on Remington as I pull myself to sit up. He's looking in the mirror and applying red eye-shadow to his face. I say nothing, only swing my legs over the side of the bed and take a drink of water. My bump is alot bigger than anyone would have thought; but Dr. Silver said it's because I'm so tiny. When I got pregnant I was 5'2 and 95 pounds. So as my uterus expands, so does my stomach. Very visibly.

"Hey," Remington says, making eye contact through the mirror when he sees me. "Happy American Thanksgiving."

"Thanks," I laugh, taking a few more sips of water before standing. "I'll be with Caden and Jeremy if you need me." He nods, jumping out to kiss my cheek before I walk out. I knock and their door, only opening when I hear Jeremy yell a "Come in!". 

Jeremy's head is rested on Caden's bare chest, eyes shut peacefully as Caden runs his fingers through the soft fluff of hair. "Just me," I say. Jeremy hums. "Whatcha up to?"

"He just woke up and we're watching Wall-E." Caden tells me. I shake my head. "What? Nothing wrong with some Disney."

"You are a child, Caden."

"You're never too old for a good movie," Jeremy mumbles tiredly. Caden leans down to press a kiss to his forehead.

"For a couple who hasn't had their first kiss yet...you're awfully affectionate."

"Shutup," Caden scoffs.

"Not nice," Jeremy retaliates, wiggling slightly. "I don't care if she deserved it. You're a meanie,"

"Hey!" I smile, siting in the velvet, red recliner in the corner, eyes on the TV. Two sixteen year olds and a seventeen year old watching a movie made for children. Interesting...

Remington enters some time later with two slices of buttered rye toast. "Sebastian's getting Nona from the airport," I nod, thanking him and kissing his cheek. I take a bite of the toast, which can be described with two words....fucking incredible. Baby boy seems to like it very much.

"So," Jeremy speaks. "You excited about having a boy?" I nod. 

"I mean...I know in the long run they could be trans or whatever; and I'll love them just the same. More than anything right now, I'm happy they're alive and healthy. Naming is fun," Jeremy's eyes open at the last sentence. 

"Names? What names do you have? Can I see?" I nod, heading to my desk and grabbing the marble notebook off of names. I sit next to the happy couple with the notebook in my lap.

"Here's what I got so far. I keep adding to it, though."

Lincoln

Connor

Miles

Theodore

Wyatt

Benjamin

Levi

Caleb

Alexander

Nicholas

Owen

Elijah

Cameron

Carter

"Which one's your favorite?" Jeremy asks softly, looking up at me. Everything that kid does is soft. He's like a little kitten. Absolutely adorable. Not in the way that I'm interested in him, in the way that he seems like he should be protected and sheltered from the world. Kinda like Remington. 

"I really like Owen and Carter. I mean...I like them all, but yeah." Jeremy shuts his eyes and smiles back up at me. 

"He's still tired," Caden explains. I nod, putting the notebook back on the desk. I tell them I'll go see if Stephanie and Shy needed help in the kitchen. I grab my toast, and head out.

#*#*#*#*#

I'm sitting at the island next to Remington on my phone as I watch Caden and Jeremy prepare a vanilla cake. Caden dips his fingers in the pastel yellow frosting and smears it across Jeremy's cheek. He gasps, taking a glob of frosting and planting it on Caden's nose. 

And then, Jeremy grabs Caden by the collar of his polo and pulls him in for a kiss. Caden seems stunned, shocked, but he quickly plants his hands on either side of the counter around Jeremy and kisses back. Jeremy's hands land on the back of his neck, and I turn to Remington, smiling.  They're so cute. They kiss breaks with a pop, and I recognize Caden's laugh. He leans up to kiss his forehead, and then grabs a paper towel to clean off his face. 

"I would call 'PDA'," Remington whispers in my ear. "But it's too cute." I giggle, resting my head on his shoulder. It's colder in Santa Monica today...a solid 66 degrees. I'm wearing a lilac purple sweater that stretches hard against my bump and a pair of black leggings. My feet have black and white Converse on them and my head is covered by a white beanie. I didn't take a Zofran today and I don't feel sick. Second Trimester is treating me well. 

Caden and Jeremy continue the cake as I open The Bump on my phone. I'm one day shy of seventeen weeks, so I'll come back tomorrow to see how he's doing. My lil baby. My world. A thought hits me, one that nearly brings me to tears.

Is this how Sebastian and Stephanie think about me?