away we go • formula 1

Barcelona

"Carolin big weekend aye?", one of the mechanics in the garage said. "Yeah. I just wished it wasn't like this because Pierre is injured.", I said. I was currently in Barcelona in the Toro Rosso garage. At the last race the french driver of the team crashed badly leading to Pierre not being able to race this weekend. I was a test and development driver for Toro Rosso since the season started. Having said that I was still surprised when they asked me to compete this weekend instead of Gasly. Seeing as I am a girl and having a girl racing a car in a Formula 1 Grand Prix is unheard of. But they chose me to drive alongside Brendon Hartley. I knew most of the crew that was here with me in Barcelona because I always try to hang around at races. This weekend was big for me. It's my shot to prove women are also great drivers. The media has been up my alley ever since this was announced. A girl in the F1. A only 20-year-old girl. So most of the attention has been on me. At least I had my friends in the F1 world. Esteban Ocon was one of them. We meet back when he was driving in the Formula 2 and quickly became friends even though we had some epic battles on the circuit. I also met Daniel Ricciardo briefly before and he seemed like the life of the party. My closest friend in the grid however has to be Stoffel Vandoorne. We raced together in the F2, F3 and also karted together. We've known each other for quite a while.
"When do I have to be back here for FP1?", I asked Markus my head of engineering. "At 2 pm. so you have an hour and a half. Be on time.", he called after me as I skipped out of the garage. Stoffel was always in his motorhome when he had free time at the circuit so I went there. I didn't bother knocking 'cause I never did. "Stoffel I'm here where are you?", I called through his portable home. "In bed come in.", he called. This motorhome was extremely luxurious and better than most of the hotels I've ever been in. "Hi friend what 'cha doin'?", I asked while plopping dow on his torso. "Nothing much friend. Just chilling. How are the nerves!", he asked while putting his arm around me. "Bad. I feel soo sick. I feel like I am not ready. Like the simulator is not the real deal and I've only ever raced in this freakin' car once and that was last year in an FP1.", I told him. "Caro you are a fantastic driver. More talented then most of the boys and let me tell you one thing. I can already see the day the are playing the Austrian anthem cause you kicked us all in the butt and won.", he encouraged me. I cuddled up to him. "Anything else on your mind?", Stoffel asked. "Yeah I hate the media. I'd wish that they just left me alone. Can't Lewis just get their attention with something or Kevin should cause a scandal.", I explained. "I know the media can be a bit much. Just concentrate on yourself. It's only FP1 just imagine we're back at the F2 and prepare for race day. You always shut them up.", he built up my confidence. "Thank you Stoffel. Where would I be without you?", I sighed dramatically. "In your garage making everyone anxious.", he laughed. "Let's go walk around.", I suggested. "Woman I am an old man I need to preserve my power.", he joked. "Stop moaning old man and get your butt going.", I slapped his rear end and marched out of the luxurious hospitality. I heard him laugh behind me. "You are quite bossy for such a young age.", Stoffel remarked. "And you are quite old to be friends with. Do you see me complaining?", I joked and linked my arm with his.
We walked around the track and spoke about non racing themes. At 1:55 I was back at the garage. I went to get changed. I heard a knock on the door. "Carolin it's me! Can I come in?", outside the door stood Anaïs, Pierre's PA. I opened the door for her to come in. "Not that I'm not happy but what are you doing here?", I asked while pulling my racing suit halfway up. "Since Pierre won't be starting anymore this season they decided to make me your PA.", she told me and I sprung into her arms. Me and Anaïs got on like a house on fire since they day she joined Toro Rosso. She was fairly young and one of the few women in the paddock who thought what I was doing was cool. "Ok please don't kill me.", she laughed and choked. I giggled,"Sorry.". "So I'm actually here to get you into your car. FP1 starts in a few.", she told me.
I collected everything I needed: the balaclava, my gloves, my helmet, the hans and my lucky charm. "Hop in then.", Markus told me. I put everything on and got in. When I was in a car I fell into this kind of trance state. But not one where I wouldn't think at all no it wasn't like that. I had razor like focus and drove as precisely as I could.
FP1 started and Toro Rosso send me out right at the start to avoid traffic I assumed. I drove my outlap and was happy with they way the car responded. "Car feels good, feels nice.", I transmitted. "Ok Copy.", the pit wall answered. I've driven three to four laps  when traffic started getting heavier. "Stay out for another 15 laps. We'll call you in.", I heard over my radio. "Ok cool.". I had a bit of a habit of forgetting to turn off my radio and so it came that the whole pit wall heard me singing Highway to Hell by ACDC. "Although we enjoy your dulcet tones please concentrate and do not crash the car.", I heard. I had to laugh. "Sorry but I am focused.", I transmitted and then turned of the radio.
My times were alright. Second to last alright. Well at least I beat someone even though that only happened because Ericsson had some electrical problems.
I jumped out of my car and thanked the team for the good car and practice. "You were on fire girl.", Anaïs came into the change room. "Thank you but not really.", I smiled up at her. "Do I have anything to do today?", I asked. "No you are free to annoy Stoffel.", she chuckled. "Actually I think I'm going to see Esteban first.".
"ESTEBAN!", I exclaimed when I spotted him in the Force India garage. "CARO! Baby.", he called and hugged me. "Don't call me baby! I'm not that young.", I stumped. "To me you are. I saw you out there. It was a good few laps.", he complimented me. "Well thank you but I'm not too buzzed about the time. I was much faster in the simulator and when I did it there I always went over the track limits.", I explained. "You're doing well trust me.", Esteban squeezed my shoulder. "Do you maybe join us for dinner this evening? Some drivers are going out to grab a bite in the evening.", the frenchmen asked. "Are you sure I'm welcomed there?", I asked shyly. "Yes!". Someone called something in french from the back of the garage. "I need to go now and give an interview. Are you staying at the same hotel as the Red Bull guys?", I nodded. He kissed my cheek goodbye and ran to where his PA stood.

"No Stoffel you don't get it.", I was literally having a breakdown and all this little Belgian dummy was doing was suggesting shit. "Can you please just wear a pair of jeans and a shirt. Nobody is going to be dressed fancy. Those meals are not often. Look Fernando once came in jogging bottoms so chill.", he threw a pair of black jeans and a burgundy top at me. "Go change schat.", he said. "Ja ja ungeduldig bist du ja gar nicht." (Yes yes you aren't impatient at all), I sarcastically said while strutting off into my bathroom. "Ik hou van je.", he called after me, idiot. Even though I knew a bit of dutch Stoffel and I only ever talk in english. His german is a catastrophe so english is our only option but if I wanna annoy him I'll just talk german for a bit. "Lin come on now. Esteban is waiting for us.", Stoffel called from my room.

"Could you please stop biting your lip?", Stoffel asked. "Why? It's the only thing that distracts me.", I whispered. "Why would you need to be distracted. They are all nice ok? And I'm here, Esteban is here. They will like you you are a nice girl.", he reassured me. We came to the table and some drivers were already sitting around it. "Stoffel, Esteban and who is this?", Fernando asked. "Ah I know. It's Stoffel's girlfriend!", he exclaimed and I burst out laughing with Stoffel. "Uhm no I'm Carolin Zwesper. I'm the new Toro Rosso driver and I'm not dating Stoffel. ", I explained. "Ah now I know where I've seen you. Sorry.", he apologised. Even if you don't like Fernando Alonso you've gotta admit he's got charm. "Nice to meet you Carolin.", Nico Hülkenberg said. I sat in between Stoffel and Brendon. "How was your Training then?", I asked him. "Quite alright had a bit of a grip problem at first but it went well after that. You absolutely smashed it.", he told me. "Not really but thanks.", I smiled. "So Carolin where are you from?", Sebastian Vettel asked. I had to pull myself together even though I never was a big fan of him. He was a legend in the sport. "Austria.", I answered. "Great one more that can speak this devil language.", Daniel laughed. "It's not that bad.", I chuckled. "It is if you try to learn it.", he moaned. The dinner went on this way. I had a brief chat about the season so far with Lewis Hamilton and Sebastian Vettel. Brendon left the dinner early so Dan took his place to question me about the german language. "I've obviously read about you in the press and I want to know if it's true.", Daniel asked. "If what's true?", I didn't know what he was on about since I avoided the press like the plague. "That Nikki Lauda discovered you and that you are only 20.". "Yes and yes.". His mouth fell open. "GUYS IT'S TRUE.", Daniel announced loudly. The whole table cheered. "You better watch out Max or she will take your place as the young and ruthless one.", Lewis said. "Doubt it.", named one spoke out. "Yeah I'm definitely not as talented as Max is.", I said. "Hou je wafel schat! You are incredibly talented.", Stoffel spoke, he was previously having a conversation with Fernando and Nico. "Ah get in there mate.", Daniel wiggled his eyebrows at Stoffel and me. "So why do they even let a girl start?", Felipe asked. Suddenly the whole table was quiet. It was no surprise to me that some drivers were apprehensive about me racing bit I didn't think they would talk about it to me face to face. "Uhm well I've been in Red Bull's program for a bit now and I got my superlicense last year. So they offered me this spot as a test and development driver and I agreed because I've always dreamed about racing in F1. That's it really.", I explained. "Don't you think you are to young? We all know what Max is like, always taking big risks. And your a girl.", he was very bad at hiding his dislike of the situation. "No I don't think so. Firstly I'm 20 many of you were 20 when they started. Secondly I truly believe that Max has been a phenomenal driver since he stepped foot into the F1 world. Maybe he has taken risks that were unnecessary in your eyes. But he wasn't like driving amok and pushing everyone of the track. Thirdly I think you are a bit disrespectful here and as much as I've always liked and admired you I'd really wish for you to stop it.", I felt like I had to defend myself and Max. Being a girl I was used to this behaviour and everything. My seasons always have been compelling because of the prejudice that comes with being a girl in the car racing world. "Well she certainly can stand up for herself.", Sebastian said into the silence that lingered after my little speech. Everybody slowly got back into their conversations. "I'm gonna head back. I feel mortified and awkward.", I whispered into Stoffel's ear. "No don't go. Fernando just told me he likes you even more now that you told off Felipe. Stay with me please?", he whispered back. "No please don't make me. I'm really don't wanna stay. I'd rather go to bed and get a good nights sleep for tomorrow.". He just nodded. "We're off. See you all tomorrow.", Stoffel announced to the table. "No you stay you are having fun. I find my way back on my own.", I said to him. "I know that but I don't want you roaming around the streets of Barcelona on your own.", he said. "I'll go with her.", Max piped up,"I'm kinda tired and we are staying at the same hotel so I'll take her.".