[ ✓ ] 𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀 , seho .

ten

ten

Time seemed to pass a million times faster since Junmyeon and Sehun kissed—at least that's how it felt to Junmyeon. He couldn't help but think about Sehun every minute of the day. As much as he wished he could deny it, Junmyeon was crazy for the boy. Exactly what he was terrified of happening since that September afternoon.

Junmyeon smiled as Sehun opened the door to the roof, Sehun grinning himself. Junmyeon hadn't been sitting over the ledge today, but on the direct concrete with his back leaning against the barrier. It was freezing outside, despite it being the middle of December. But Junmyeon figured Sehun could make things warmer.

"Hey," was all Sehun greeted with. Normally, they'd be more talkative. But they both knew what was on their minds ever since their kiss.

"How was your day?" Junmyeon asked.

"It was alright." Sehun looked at Junmyeon's hand resting calmly on his thigh—his bruised and scarred hand. Sehun held it. Junmyeon smiled.

Junmyeon bit his lips as he shivered from the cold. He tried to process what exactly he wanted to tell Sehun. He couldn't think of an easy way to tell him that as much as he wanted to, he couldn't love Sehun. He was too afraid. But, he couldn't tell that to Sehun. It would hurt the both of them.

"Sehun," Junmyeon spoke, a cloud of frost coming from his lips as he spoke. Sehun looked towards him. Instead of telling Sehun what he truthfully felt, he spit out the next thing wandering his mind. "I'm not out. Just thought you should know."

A moment of silence occurred as Sehun looked at the concrete. Junmyeon felt as if what he said was wrong, but he didn't know how it could be. "Are you?"

Sehun gazed at Junmyeon with a small smile. "No. But I'm not a fan of labels, so I don't really need to come out. As long as I can just be with you, I'll be okay."

Junmyeon simpered. Sehun didn't say anything else. Instead, he pulled his phone from his pocket, handing one of the headphones to Junmyeon. He turned on Burning Bridges by OneRepublic.

The two sat on the roof in the cold temperatures, listening to each song that passed. Junmyeon didn't even know them, but just because Sehun enjoyed them, Junmyeon did. He loved them.

It had become darker out, and Junmyeon had realized that he began to doze off. He knew if he weren't home within twenty minutes, his father would realize.

Junmyeon stood up, letting go of Sehun's hand in which he had been holding for the past several minutes. Sehun stood with him.

"I have to leave," Junmyeon said, his voice dry and quiet. Sehun nodded as he put a hand on Junmyeon's shoulder. The two just stood there in silence, waiting for something to get them to separate. But they didn't want to. Junmyeon knew he wanted to be able to be with Sehun—really be with him—but something in his gut told him he couldn't.

Junmyeon embraced Sehun, the warmth of his body making Junmyeon feel more comfortable at last. Junmyeon liked the way Sehun hugged him. The way he had one arm around the span of Junmyeon's shoulders, the other lightly holding the small of his back. It made him feel secure, like nothing could take him away from Sehun. Not even the doubts running throughout his mind.

"Bye, Sehun." The younger placed a kiss on Junmyeon's forehead before he walked out.

As Junmyeon made his way back into the open area, he couldn't help but think of Sehun. Think of how he had been holding his hand, and it seemed to fit perfectly with his own. Think of the way his lips felt—soft and warm. Think of his existence. Think of his perfection. Junmyeon wished he had a family to show Sehun off to. Siblings that would support him loving another guy. Friends that could admire their relationship.

Instead, Junmyeon had to enter the muggy home that never seemed welcoming whatsoever. He prayed that his father was asleep or in a better mood than other days.

Unfortunately, he got a hold of too many beers.

As Junmyeon quietly entered the house, his dad seemed to immediately storm towards the boy. Junmyeon started to panic.

"Why are you home so late?" The man shouted sternly. Junmyeon looked at the tile ground as he swallowed his words. "Explain or you'll be sorry."

"I was studying at school."

"For five hours?" Junmyeon could sense the anger boiling inside his father as the man stiffened. Junmyeon knew what this meant.

"I'm sorry," he practically whispered. His dad took a strong slap at Junmyeon's face. He froze, trying to process what's just happened. It's been months since his father hit him. He thought things were getting better. But he should have known—every time things clear up, they always go downhill. Always.

"Why were you studying, huh? Have you been failing your classes?"

Junmyeon inhaled deeply. "No," he lied. His father stared down his son before grabbing his shoulder, pushing him forward. "Just go to your room, don't come out." Junmyeon followed his orders, making his way down the dark hallways into his tiny bedroom.

He felt tears forming in his eyes but forced them back. If he cried, that meant his father defeated him. He didn't want to accept that fact.

Junmyeon finally felt the pain growing in his head. All he could think about in that moment was a way to heal quickly. Sehun.

He checked in the mirror to see if there was any bruising. Just a slight redness.

He set his backpack down. Then, he opened the window that looked out over the open and empty yard. Junmyeon climbed out, then left.