[ ✓ ] 𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀 , seho .

twenty one

twenty one

SEHUN DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE when Junmyeon had to leave the car. He didn't want to have to accept the fact that this was truly happening. He had tried to pinch himself several times to convince himself that this was a dream—a really bad dream—but that just resulted in a stinging in his arm and even more sadness growing inside.

The night sky had been clear and filled with specks of stars. The sight had the ability to clear Sehun's mind, but only until Junmyeon was getting ready to enter the train station.

"I should go by myself," Junmyeon suggested as he looked at his lap. His light hair fell softly over his face, hiding his youthful but somber eyes.

Sehun handed Junmyeon the train ticket. The older grabbed it, then grasping Sehun's hand. The feeling made Sehun think that maybe Junmyeon truly meant it whenever he'd say I'm sorry or I love you.

"Things will turn out okay. I promise." Junmyeon threaded his fingers between Sehun's, causing the boy to turn his head. Sehun felt his heart skip a beat as he stared into Junmyeon's appearance. It was truly beautiful. It was beyond anything he could comprehend. And as he realized this would be the last time he would be able to see such a visual, tears began to brim at his eyes.

"Okay," Sehun replied. He didn't say anything else. Junmyeon rubbed his thumb over Sehun's hand. The perfect hand that he had held several times before then.

"I don't hate you, Junmyeon." A tear fell. Junmyeon smiled.

"I know." Junmyeon leaned in towards Sehun, placing a soft kiss on the area between the younger's ear and cheekbone. Junmyeon brushed away a tear as it began to fall down his soft face.

"Just don't do anything stupid. Please," Sehun begged, his voice sounding weaker. Junmyeon felt a lump forming in his chest. He couldn't hold it back.

"I won't," he said. Then he had started crying. "I'm so sorry." Junmyeon pulled Sehun into his arms, trying to control his tears and stop them from falling any more.

"Just promise me that I'll see you again. Then I'll let you go," Sehun whispered as he placed a hand on Junmyeon's cheek. The older nodded as a small smile grew upon his face.

"When the time is right, I'll see you. I promise."

Junmyeon held Sehun's hand tighter as he pressed his lips against the younger's. He made sure he could feel the softness of Sehun's mouth against his, for he didn't know when he would feel that sensation again.

Junmyeon then pulled out the paper that had been sitting in the pocket of his jeans since earlier that night. The paper was slightly crumpled now, the Sehun written on it smudged as well. He handed the letter to Sehun.

"Read it when you're ready," Junmyeon instructed. He kissed the side of Sehun's face again as he examined the letter in his hands. Then he opened the car door.

"I love you," Junmyeon told Sehun.

"I love you more."

Then Junmyeon left. And Sehun cried. He rested his head on the steering wheel as his shoulders shook with each cry. He didn't want to think about going a day without Junmyeon. He didn't want to have to spend weeks without kissing or holding him. But he had to. And he hated that.

Sehun opened the folded papers, revealing Junmyeon's messy and big handwriting.

Sehun —

Remember in that letter you wrote me for Christmas how you just couldn't say some things to my face? Those sensitive, heart-felt, important things? Well, now I know how you feel. There's something that, as much as I want to, just couldn't tell you to your face. I could never look into your perfect eyes and tell you what I've done, probably because you'd hate me. But you deserve to know.