Servamp x Reader *discontinued*

I'm not dead but here's an update

*This chapter was originally posted on another story so some things don't apply to this book but I felt as though since it's my most popular I should update here too. But discontinuing this book does apply as well, I'm sorry I just can't find any happiness to continue writing.*

*IF YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME AS AUTHOR DONT READ, IM JUST GIVING A DEPRESSING LIFE UPDATE CAUSE IM DEPRESSED RIP ME*

Hi, it's Blake here. Did I ever even say my names in one of these updates? Wooow, it's really been awhile if I can't even answer that.

So I probably left you all in some confusion over what's going on with this story, I say I'm done writing it then I say I'm back with this whole schedule planned out then I hold a contest to hopefully get myself back to writing which I never even got the winners announced for that.. sorry.

In a week a lot happened, just a few days before that contest I got into a big fight with a close friend of mine who did something very psychotic.. I don't want to go into details but it hurt.. it still hurts. But ya know that wasn't gonna bring me down. Then only like a day or two later my girlfriend kind of lost feelings so yeah.. that stung a bit. Still wouldn't let that completely destroy me though!

But then two days after posting about the contest, I was released from being in a group home (I was stuck there for 30 days due to my truancy, which I can't help with my health issues ya know) now my first thought was all what I was going to do with my dog Koda, my big old baby who would definitely help cure my sadness after that horrible week.
But then I got a call from my brother, four of my dogs slipped out of a room we put them in (two of them are very aggressive with the dogs we leave out, so they must always be separated) my brother was crying and he told us, our senior foster dog, Tiger, was dead. Koda, my dog, was barely breathing... we rushed home, we rushed her to the vet, I tried calming her down and she was so happy, still wagging her tail so I thought she would make it. A couple hours later, after we were almost done cleaning up all the pools of blood the vet calls, Koda had passed away.
She was only 13 months old... ya know I really felt like I failed her there.. I still do.. and of course that still really really hurts.

Remembering that whole week still hurts, after almost a month I was ready to continue with the contest and start writing again. During that month I had to get a new dog, my other family dog that actually got along with Koda was severely depressed and I couldn't handle that so I did it. I got a dog that was supposed to be put down the day I adopted him, (Tripp) he was a leash biting trouble maker but he got along so well with our family dog. Flash forward almost a month after, he's being good, I've fallen in love with him but one day he's nibbling at my baby sister's feet a little too harshly, I knock him off but then he turns to me.

He attacked me, his owner, the one that plays and walks with him, the one he sleeps with, he attacked me. This is what hurt the most, I've never been attacked by an animal where it wasn't my fault let alone a big dog like him. I was traumatized, my one special ability was getting all animals to like me so for one to attack me really stabbed at my heart. I got about five stitches that day and almost a million bruises all over my whole body, so of course this pushed me off from writing again.

Then not long after we get a senior foster dog (Bear) , my mom was secretly hoping that maybe a senior would do the trick. He was also supposed to be put down the day we got him, he was my dream dog in looks wise, very big and adorable sad eyes. He'd follow me wherever I went just like Tiger, I once again fell in love with him. He'd cuddle me at night, he'd follow me everywhere, he loved walks, he loved fetch despite his old age and was just a big lovable goofball. But then we took him to the vet to get neutered, they found a lump on him, it was cancerous. We took him to the vet again for a second opinion, explained how he seemed to be getting grumpier and grumpier every day, they said the cancer has probably spread to his brain, we had to give him away to someone that could actually work with him on this and possibly help him.

Yeah that was shit.

So yeah, sorry for rambling on so much about dogs, that's just what's been really hitting me these past few months. I can't really sleep or else I have nightmares about the day my two dogs died, I unfortunately can't leave my home due to PTSD thinking if I come home my other dogs will be dead, I still blame myself every day for it. I honestly don't know if I'll ever get back to writing. My depression has gotten slightly better but continuing to write this will just harm me even more in the end.

I hope you guys can understand that finishing this book is unfortunately never going to happen. I'm not even sure if I'll ever continue to write. I'm sorry.

R.I.P Koda, my beautiful pup that I will never stop loving

R.I.P Tiger, my loud attention loving shadow

And I hope that you will one day beat cancer in the butt my grumpy Bear.