Him & I • E.D.

chapter nine - a trip down memory lane part 2

The next school year started, sophomore year. I was lucky I could even move on to sophomore year since I took my freshman credits online that summer. I was scared at first. My mom dropped me off at the main building which looked like a prison.

"Honey, I know you don't get it, but-" My mom started to say.

"No, I don't get it, Mom. I don't get why even though I've had the worst year of my life, you think sending me away will help me!" I yelled. I got up out of the car and slammed the door behind me. I started to walk towards the building.

"I love you, Eliza!" My mom yelled from the car.

I stopped for a second, but didn't turn around. "Sure you do." I whispered so only I could hear it. Then I kept walking.

The first few days were really tough. I didn't know anyone and I hated that place with all my heart. I missed you, Nolan and you too, Shaila. I wanted us to be together through our high school years and there I was, my second year of high school and I was at a boarding school far away from you guys. My mom told everyone I was at some fancy private school so we wouldn't lose our reputation. She didn't want anyone to know how my father left us and got another woman pregnant, or how I lost myself and ended up in juvi that summer. I was scared and lost, but most of all, I was hurting.

I was hurting so badly, and I needed someone. That someone happened to be Jeremy. We met one day when I was doing homework under a tree on campus.

"What are you doing?" A deep voice asked from above me. I looked up and saw a tall guy with green eyes, curly, light brown hair and he smelt really great.

"Homework." I replied, not interested in making friends.

"Sounds fun." He said, smiling as he sat down next to me.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I asked.

"Sour one, aren't you?" He said, chuckling.

"Look, I don't really want to make friends here and I really don't even want to be here." I said.

"Open your eyes, none of us do." He said.

I just rolled my eyes at him.

"People like you and me need people. We need support and we need a pain reliever." He said.

"What makes you think I'm in pain?" I asked.

"Its obvious. You're kind of a grinch." He said.

I laughed a little at his remark. "A grinch?" I asked, not able to hold in a smile.

"Yes, a grinch. You know when I first came here, I was just like you; hurt and alone."

"And what are you now?" I asked.

"Not alone." He said.

"Who do you have?" I asked.

"Some people here accepted me as their friend. They taught me how to numb the pain. I can teach you how to do it as well if you let me." He said.

"I don't even know your name." I said.

"Jeremy." He replied with a smile.

"Eliza." I said, smiling back at him.

"We are going to have to much fun here, Eliza." He said.

I smiled at him. Little did I know that fun meant something totally different to him than it did to me. He introduced me to alcohol. It made the pain go away for a short amount of time, so I started getting drunk every night and having a major hangover the next day in my classes. It wasn't long before he introduced me to some stronger stuff; drugs. I was really hesitant at first, but I eventually gave in. We started getting high together all the time. My attitude changed too. I was disrespectful to all of the teachers and all of my authorities. I got into so many fights with all these girls. That's pretty much how it was until one night, it went too far and someone paid for it.

It was a Friday night and I had gotten a call from my mom. She told me she was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. I was more hurt than ever that night so I got drunk. When that didn't make me feel better, I got higher than a kite.

"Liz, don't you think you've had enough? This stuff is pretty strong." Jeremy said.

"Relax, I'm fine. Aren't you supposed to be the savage one?" I said. I sat down on his lap and started making out with him.

"Liza, I'm serious. You seem really out of it." He said.

"I'm always out of it." I said, trying to kiss him again. He just pulled back again. I got off of him. "Fine, be that way." I said.

I went down to the cafeteria. It was closed so I broke into it. I caught this girl, Catherine making out with some guy. I laughed. "Wow, in a cafeteria? Do you have no sanity?" I said, wanting to start a fight.

"What did you just say to me?" Catherine said.

"I basically said you're a slut." I said, having no morals at that time.

"Well, at least I don't need to get drunk and high while daddy screws another woman every night." She said.

I got so angry and I just lost it. I pushed her back into a table. We started fighting and it wasn't like any of my other fights; I was so angry I just wanted to rip her head off. We were on the second floor and she had opened a window. She grabbed me and started trying to push me out of the window.

"I really don't think anyone will miss you; you're a screw up anyways." She said, trying to push me out. I fought with all I had, until I couldn't anymore, my hand slipped off the side of the wall and I started falling back. That's when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back in. It was Jeremy. When he pulled me back in, Catherine lost her balance and fell out herself. We looked down and she was laying there, unresponsive. I didn't know what to do.

"We need to call 911!" I yelled.

"Are you kidding me? They'll just blame you! We have to get out of here." Jeremy said.

"No! I can't just leave her. This IS my fault." I said.

"I saw what happened and you didn't push her, she was trying to push you out of that window and she fell out herself. Now let's go!" Without any other words, he picked me up and ran out of there.

She survived but was severely injured, but never said a word about what happened that night. I felt so guilty after that. I called my mom and told her everything. I wanted to go home. She finally let me come home after the school year ended. I completely shut Jeremy out of my life; he was toxic for me. I wanted to tell Catherine's family what really happened, but I wasn't sure if it would be any easier knowing she fell because she was trying to push somone else out instead.

I decided to change everything about myself after that and leave the past behind. I got sober, I started therapy and I got myself back on my feet. Not only for myself, but for my mom. She needed me; she needs me. We need each other.

~ End of Flashback ~

"Look, I'm sorry I never told you guys. It was just so hard." I said. I started to cry.

They all three hugged me.

"Liza, that's a lot to take in but I'm glad you told us. I just wish you would've told us sooner." Shaila said.

"Uh guys, do you think I can have a few minutes alone with Eliza?" Ethan asked.

Shaila and Nolan left the room, leaving me and Ethan alone.

"Ethan, I'm sorry I didn't tell you." I said.

"I understand that it's a hard thing to share; but why did you have to get drunk like that?"

"I was hurt again and Jeremy was there with alcohol just like he was last time. I know that's no excuse and I'm so sorry." I said.

"Shh, it's okay. You don't need Jeremy anymore. You have me now." Ethan said.

Ethan layed on the bed next to me and we lied there for a long time together.

It feels really nice to have people like these in my life. Like Nolan. Like Shaila. Like Ethan....
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