Him & I • E.D.

chapter nineteen - hard goodbye part one

It's been a few months since the wedding and school has been really stressful, but at least I've had Ethan to do it with. He won't be here much longer though. Graduation is right around the corner and he and Grayson are going to college in New Jersey. Shaila got into a college in New York, but she gave it up and is traveling to Greece for two years after graduation. Nolan hasn't been talking to us much lately. Sometimes I see him in the hallways, but we just awkwardly smile at each other and walk away.

I am terrified not only about doing my senior year alone, but of Ethan leaving. I don't know what's going to happen to us and it sucks, because things are finally great between us. He will be across the country at college and I'll be stuck here at high school. And even after high school, I don't know what I'm going to do. I applied to a college in Seattle, but I haven't heard anything from them.

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"Hey Ethan?"

"Yeah?" Ethan replied to me.

"What's going to happen when you go away to college? What's going to happen to us?" I asked.

He looked at me and grabbed my hands in his hands.

"Well, I'm going to go to New Jersey and you'll be in California. I'm going to call you every day and complain about the homework and the people. You're going to tell me it's okay and you love me. I'm going to tell you how much I appreciate you. You're going to tell me everything about your senior year and how much you're ready to graduate and we will not be separated." He said.

I smiled and kissed him.

"But what about after I'm done with high school? I mean, we aren't going to college together and we will still be across the country from each other." I said.

"Liz, I don't know what's going to happen to us in the next year, but I do know that I love you and I don't want to lose you." He said.

He kissed my head and we walked down the hallway of school together.

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Graduation day was here. I was at the school, sitting in my seat next to my mom and .... step dad. I looked over at the graduates and saw Ethan. He looked at me and smiled and I smiled back. I looked closer at everyone and noticed that Shaila wasn't sitting next to Grayson. She wasn't sitting with anyone actually. Where was she?

"I'll be right back." I said as I got up to go find Shaila. I went out into the hall and saw Shaila in her gown, sitting against a locker, crying.

"Shaila, what's wrong?" I asked her as I hugged her.

"I broke up with Grayson." She said.

"I'm so sorry." I replied.

"I mean, it makes sense because we will be so far away from each other and it's not like we have a future planned to be together. Our paths are just going different ways, you know? It just hurts so much." She went on.

"Yeah, I see what you're saying." I replied.

Shaila pulled herself together and we both went back to the ceremony together. I sat back in my seat and looked over at Ethan. He smiled at me. Oh, how that smile melts my heart.

I felt a teardrop go down my face. I couldn't stop thinking about what Shaila said. What if the same is true about me and Ethan? What if there is no future for us?

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To be continued.....