Marching On The Club Book 3

Epilogue

Epilogue
Drum Major tryouts- May 19th 2015
'I don't want to be section leader,' I thought to myself. I have always wanted to be a band officer ever since my Freshman year, but I guess I kind of out grew that over the years of high school. It was seventh period; the last period of the day. And then not too long after that, there's drum major auditions.'I don't even know why I'm trying out anymore,' I thought to myself; wishing that I hadn't grabbed a band officer letter in the first place. 'All I want is to be above everybody else, but at the same time I don't want to boss anyone around! I don't have the authority to do so, and I shouldn't have the authority to do so!' I was mentally beating myself up, which is usual for me. 'I'm just not so sure if I should get the position,' I thought to myself. I thought real hard about marching band for the next season for my last year is coming right around the corner. I thought and I remembered this past season when William told me that I'd make a better brass captain than him. I strongly disagreed, but I hid it inside from him because I didn't want to disappoint him. Or at least I didn't want to seem to be disappointed to him. The bell rang for the end of class, and I got out of my seat as everyone else ran out the door anxious to get home. I texted my dad to let him know that I was staying after school today, and I went to the band room. My heart started to pound against my chest because I was getting a little too piped up for the Drum Major auditions and I felt like I wasn't ready. I sat down in a chair, and I got out my Chinese notebook even though I'm exempting that class, I still wanted to study the radicals. But my heart continued to pound, and it felt as if it was getting louder and louder. I felt really lucky that no one was in the room for everyone just now left to go to Seven Eleven, and if they weren't there then there were still some people in the pit room. I started to panic a little bit because I just knew that I wasn't ready. I have practiced for auditions; I just knew that I couldn't possibly take the pressure of everyone else watching me tryout. I kind of wanted to ask Mr.Smith if I could tryout without a crowd of people watching me, but I also wanted to fight the urge. I found it really hard to concentrate on reviewing for my Chinese class, and so I thought that maybe I'd be better prepared if I tried practicing for the auditions in a practice room or something. What I was really nervous about was the fact that I might conduct too fast or too slow and lose my place or not count correctly. I was scared that the song might end before I even cut off, or worse; I cut off too early. I have practiced, just not with music. I have this metronome app on my iPhone that I was using to practice conducting, but I only practiced for a few days when I had weeks to prepare for this day. I should have at least practiced conducting for a week or two, so then I'd be better prepared! I know that I can do it, I just needed more time to prepare myself, but I had plenty of time. I just refused to practice until a couple of days ago. So I got my phone out and I turned the app on so I could use it. I went into the practice room so I could practice conducting. There was a couple of problems to add to the pressure of Drum Major auditions being today. First off, I always counted in 3/4 time, even when it was in 4/4 time. Which got really confusing real fast. I could count out loud to the tempo just fine, but my hands didn't match up with the numbers. I could count out loud just fine, but sometimes when I was conducting I didn't match up with the numbers that I was saying. I was used to counting in 3/4 time for the whole song, but not all of the song was 3/4 time. I like rarely ever counted in 4/4 time in that tempo, and I thought to myself as I was walking to the band room; 'it's not that fast!' I started to panic a little more because either I was rushing or I was dragging the tempo, and somehow I just knew that I wouldn't get the position if I rushed or dragged. I would have to be just perfect to get the position, which only posed another problem; nobody's perfect. Not even those winner want-a-bes; Stephen, Katherine, and Savannah. I just wished that they could see it in themselves that they aren't perfect. But they're too caught up in every way possible of how they think they're perfect in every way possible. If they were perfect they'd be professionals with their instruments and they've would already have a job by now. I practiced and practiced; I was too nervous to stop practicing. But it seemed as if the more I practiced the more my heart pounded, and the louder it got and the more panicked I became. I eventually got tired of hearing that metronome and I got tired of conducting for my left shoulder was still in somewhat pain from that bike crash I had a little less than three weeks ago. I didn't run anyone over, so no one really got hurt other than myself. I was biking home from school one day and my shoelaces were too big and loose, so they got tied around in the pedals just before I crossed North Blvd; which was the second road before my road that I live on. I was almost home. I felt something in the pedals get tighter, and I knew right away that it was my shoelaces that got tied up in the pedals of my bike. I stopped pedaling and I tried going backwards to undo the tied up shoelace. I lifted my right foot off the ground and all my weight now was on my bike. I was then going wherever the bike was going to take me, and there was no stopping. My bike leaned to the left, and down the bike fell; I went down with it. I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but I did something weird with my left arm to avoid getting any bruises from the fall. I lifted my arm up and away from the concrete sidewalk, but I ended up on my left shoulder blade. I had no bruises whatsoever, so I had no prove of that fall, none but that of my left shoulder blade being in tremendous pain. The pain is not as bad, but it still hurt a little to conduct, and I was a little fearful that I'd be slow and therefore dragging the tempo because of a shoulder being in pain. I wanted to find Claire, so she could give me her input and what I should work on. I walked out of the practice room and into the band room. I had an idea of where she could be. I checked the pit room, and there she was with a group of people in a circle.
"Claire, I need your help!"
"I'm playing a game right now," she said. The gang was all playing "Never Have I." "Never Have I," is a game where you start out with two hands, ten fingers. You tell the group something that you haven't done in your life, and if someone in the group has done what they said, they put a finger down. Whoever is the last person with fingers still out is the winner. It was an interesting game that Claire and the gang was playing, and so they invited me to play the game. So I joined them because I wanted to become less nervous about the whole conducting thing and I wanted to give both my ears and my shoulders a break from hearing the metronome and conducting. I deserved a good long break even though I was still kind of wary about my situation.
It was about time to go to the band room for the Drum Major auditions was about to start, and I was calm by now; just slightly worried. I was more excited than worried for the most part, and I thank that group of friends for inviting me to the game because it did help me relief myself a little bit. But I was still kind of nervous. But at the same time, I kind of didn't care because I didn't want the position anymore. "Who would like to go first?" "Brandon," Stephen called out; throwing Brandon under the bus. "Alright, Stephen you go first," Mr. Smith said. Everyone around Stephen chuckled, including Stephen himself. "See that's what you get for calling me out," Brandon said in his defense. I silently laughed so no one knew that I was laughing. There were four judges in the band room; Mr. Smith himself, Mr. Anderson, Mr. Clark, and some other guy that I never saw before. That guy had gray hair and was kind of cubby looking, and he was sitting next to Mr. Smith. On the other side of Mr. Smith was Mr. Anderson, and next to him was Mr. Clark. They had a table so they could take notes on about whoever was trying out. Erin, Johanna, and Ashlyn were sitting in the other side of the band room from me, but they were in the corner away from the front. A group of band members, some of which I've never seen before where also on the other side of the band room in their little groups. Everyone else was either behind me or next to me in the band room. Stephen came to the center of the room, and he started conducting to the song. In my head I started counting the same way I have been counting, and I was right; I soon enough got lost in my head of where I was. I gave up counting not before long, and then James got ready by going to the center of the room where Stephen was when he was sent out of the room. Everyone who was trying out for band officers had to go out to the hall way so that way they wouldn't over hear what the judges had to say. "Jennifer, can you go up before me," Claire asked me. I didn't know what to say; I wanted to say; "sure," but it wasn't easy like that. I wasn't ready either, and my heart started to pound again. "Um... I'm sorry, but I'm just trying out for section leader." I earlier asked Andrew; Mr. Smith's own son if it was required to conduct for section leader, and he told me no. I guess I didn't need to conduct, that I was just wasting my time. But no need to worry; I just got confused. But after Logan conducted, Mr. Smith said that there was one more candidate left, and then he called out my name. My heart just stopped beating as his eyes meet my eyes. I had a panic heart attack for a moment. Everyone on the other side of the room shouted;
"Jennifer!"
But I wasn't ready. I knew that I wouldn't get the position. "Section leader," I said in a question like voice that for certain sounded like I wasn't for sure if I even wanted to try out for anything. "Oh, you don't have to conduct for section leader," Mr. Smith said. When he said that, I seemed to have found my pulse, my heart regulated back to normal and I caught my breath in relief.
Friday, May 22
I have received an email from Mr. Smith talking about the band officer positions as he has sent the email out to everyone. I read it reluctantly; not really caring about what position I get now, but now I just didn't want any position at all. I saw that Stephen Anderson made it as section leader in the baritones. And I have a band officer position. I'm the last name on the list as band historian/secretary. 'What job is that,' I wondered. 'I'm not going to listen to Stephen this year,' I thought to myself as I remembered when he tried to do someone else's job in the marching band on the very last day of the marching band season. I remember how fed up I was for him trying to do William's job, even though he's not the brass captain! But Mr. Smith himself was right there. He was right there in front of all of us. When I think back I ask myself, 'why didn't he yell at me? Why didn't he yell at the both of us?' I felt kind of evil inside, and I honestly regret snapping at Stephen like that. But I got my point across. But that goof ball. "I will only listen to him when he's actually being productive, but if he's not then I'll attempt to practice by myself during sectionals," I told my friend Ashley that morning on the bus.
"Good luck!"