flight no. 37 ⌮ lai guanlin

c h a p t e r 37.

Seohee~

After work, I right away headed to the café nearby my work place. I immediately saw Woojin waiting, since he sat by the window seats.

"Woojin... about the things I said last time, I really didn't mean any of them- you know, I was just really overwhelmed at that moment, and I let my anger takeover me. I've also made horrible decisions in the past, and if I ever told you and you reacted the same way that I did... I would hate myself too. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, I forgive you." He smiled at me.

"How about us? Are we..."

"Um, about that... I think we should just stick as friends. Of course, I still have feelings for you- but now, I actually really want to focus more on my career."

"Is that so..." I mumbled, a bit disappointed. If that's what makes him happy, then so be it. "What are you planning to do?"

"I want to start dancing again, maybe also rapping. I'd like to teach students how to dance too, if possible."

"That's great! I support you in that."

"Thank you, Seohee" He chuckled. "But whatever happened to us, we're still friends... right?"

"Of course."

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Guanlin~

"So... how did it go?" I asked Seohee about her meet up with Woojin. I invited her to have dinner at my house.

"Yeah, he's already made his decision... we're just friends now." She bitterly smiled.

"Can you do that? Still be friends with him?"

"Of course. Even before we became a thing, we were already friends. I've already lost a boyfriend, I'm not gonna lose a good friend too."

"I'm glad you're okay." I put some of my cooking on her plate, and she thanked me.

"Guanlin... I don't want to hurt you too. I don't want to take advantage of you, because that would be so unfair to you. I'll just cope with this all by myself, you don't need to cover it up."

"Seohee, I already told you- hurt me as much as you want. The pain I've cause you these past ten years, is not even close to what you can do. I trust you, and I know you're harmless. So Seohee, please just use me."

"I'm scared to hurt you."

"If I ever get hurt, then it's probably because of myself- not you. If you hurt me, I'll be okay and forgive you, like what you've always done for me."

"Well... are you really okay with that?"

"I told you, I just want you to be mine- it doesn't matter how. Let me show what I can do for you, as sixteen year old Guanlin, and myself now. My real self."

"So, can I use you?"

"Use me any time you want."

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Seohee~

I feel bad for Guanlin, but he seems so determined.

Well, I don't think it's going to be that bad. Like I said before, I still have some feelings for him, so it won't be really hard for me to adjust.

Maybe, just maybe... it might work out.

Call me desperate, but I really don't want to be alone anymore. Plus, I've waited ten years to be with him too.

But Woojin came along and messed up that thought in my brain.

For now, it's still Woojin who's mostly in my heart... but there's still a chance that Guanlin could actually fill in the broken gaps.

I feel horrible for what I'm about to do to him.

I don't want to take advantage of him, but he wants it and I think it will help me too.

It might help me, or actually make it worst.

But I'll try.

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This chapter's hella boring smh

Song: Glow by Stray Kids (스트레이 키즈)