Endings and Beginnings

Chapter 51

Meryl was sitting next to Don's bed once they got him set up in recovery; after Dr. Abbott told her he updated Liz and Larry and their babies were fine. "We have some amazing babies, Don Man. You know that? Of course you do. You are so damn crazy about them. I can't wait until you can spend more time with them."

"Mrs. Gummer?" A nurse said walking over.

Meryl smiled warmly at the nurse. "He doing okay?"

"He's doing very well." The nurse smiled. "I'm Erin; and I'm just going to sit here and monitor his vitals. You talk away and I'm going to work."

Meryl nodded. "Thank you; and thank you for this comfortable recliner."

"Much better than those stools in OR." Erin smiled as Meryl chuckled. "Can I get you something to drink or anything?" 

Meryl shook her head. "I'll just have to use the restroom; not until he wakes up; but thank you very much."

"I understand." Erin took her seat. "Just talk to him; don't worry about me."

Meryl smiled and nodded at the nurse. "I'm sure ready for you to be awake, Don Man. That might sound selfish; but these days of not seeing your eyes or talking to you has broken me more than I ever thought possible. You are my rock and my strength. I've been so afraid that I was going to have to learn to live without my breath; without you. I can't do that, Don. You have ALWAYS been there for me; even when I pushed you away. I've been thinking a lot about when Daddy died; and how you were there for me even when I unconsciously wouldn't let you be."

***

It was July of 2003 and Don went through their Manhattan townhome looking for his wife to tell her bye before he went to Boston for a week to lecture at a summer class. He was uneasy about leaving their family. Meryl's father, Harry, had been struggling with dementia for almost two years; but in the last few weeks he was getting worse both mentally and especially physically. In fact, Don and the girls had barely seen his wife because she had been taking care of him almost round the clock at his Stamford, CT home. They had recently called in hospice that came in everyday to help; and the boys were helping her so she could spend time with their girls while Don was gone. Don wanted to cancel his trip, but Meryl insisted he go. Don finally found her in the office talking on the phone. "When Don heads to the airport then the girls and I will be over. No Third, he is only supposed to take that medicine at night. The nurse should know that. Yes, Third, she does. Listen; just sit with him until I can get there. NO! Don't change his IV bag, that is what the nurses are for. Don't do ANYTHING, just sit with him. I'll be there when I can; but I want to see my husband off seeing as though I've barely seen him lately. Thanks, bye." Meryl sighed as she hung up, not knowing her husband had entered the room.

"Where's my address book? I'm canceling." Don said walking over to the desk as he started looking in the drawers. He hated how broken her voice sounded when she said she had barely seen him; and he felt the same way. He and the girls had spent as much time in Stamford as they could; but they were still missing time with each other. "I'm not leaving you all right now. I can't believe I was going to leave."

Meryl grabbed his arm and gave him a watery smile. "Don Man, you need to go. You have been driving back and forth to Stamford so much; you have been and are my rock but I want you to do this. We'll be okay, sweetheart. The girls are pretty self-sufficient and they don't have anything going on, so they can come back and forth with me. They can also stay with Maeve."

"It's not them I'm worried about the most; I know you'll take care of them and your dad perfectly. But who is going to take care of you?" Don asked as he wiped her tears.