vixx randomness

55 - Date with Jaehwan

If y'all thought I won't be showing up again, then y'all thought wrong.

Well, this was supposed to be posted on Christmas Eve but yIe got super lazy and tired and busy so yie wasn't able to upd8 :(

Anyways, yie wanted to wish you a belated happy holidays and hopes you had a nice vacation.

Speaking seriously, I really hope you Verries had a wonderful time with your family and I really hope that you won't get tired of reading my book and for waiting every updates that I know you don't deserve because it all sucks.

I love you as always, remember that.

Now read :)

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With children's soft laughters, bright shining of stars, and the sparkling of Christmas lights, don't ease the pain inside my heart. Seating here in the bench that we used to share together breaks my heart more. Yet, I still wait for her every year, hoping that she'll come back with the littlest chance.

Three years ago, we were happy.

Three years ago, we were the best couples we could be.

Three years ago, I can still hold her in my arms.

Three years ago, we were we.

Until I broke her heart.

I started to cry as the hands of my watch strikes twelve midnight. She didn't come again but maybe next year, she will.

You can't lose hope, Jaehwan.

The broken pieces of my heart melts as I see a familiar figure walking down the cold streets with her left hand on her pocket and the other on her phone, maybe talking with someone as it is placed on her right ear.

"You're still beautiful like before, love," I whispered, not wanting anyone to hear.

But my insides fell apart when she looked at me, straight in my eyes. Her chinky eyes widened and she froze at where she stands.

I run towards her, flashing a genuine smile. "Hello!" I greated.

I watched her as she ended the call and lifted her head again, looking at me. I am not expecting for a great hello back nor a smile from her. I'm now contented at the perfect sight of her in front of me whom I wait for two years.

"What are you doing here?" she coldly asked. My heart was like being squeezed in pain, though I already expected this to happen when we met again.

That lips used to make me smile, love. What happened now?

It's your fault, Jaehwan.

"J-just strolling a-around," I paused, "You?" I continued.

"On my way at hell because I saw you," She said. I never speak a word again because I don't want to ruin her Christmas Eve. Making her say those words made my insides tear apart, for I know that the pain I leave her is still there.

I just nodded my head and flashed a little smile until no one of us is talking.

"Well isn't this awkward?" I gathered up all my strength and said. I took a glance of her and saw her shaking her head.

"I think so," She said and walks toward a bench steps away from me.

That bench.

"You know, I miss this place," She said out of blue as I sat beside her.

"Same as me," I answered and rested my back against the bench. God, I miss her so much.

"I hope you'll never find your way to hell." I started again to break the ice and gave out a chuckle. She 'tss-ed' in return and I just decided to stay quiet until she spoke.

"I don't know, you made me find the path," She chuckled too and continued, "But I thought we're in that way together until you fucking left me," She bowed her head a little and a pain striked my heart.

Fuck your life, Jaehwan.

"Look, I'm sorry," I said and tried to hold her hand but she refused.

"Your face!" She raised her voice a little then it's my cue to defend myself.

"Come on, it was like three years ago," I said.

"Three years? Three shitty years until you left me broken and in the dark without any idea that I can find the light once more. You didn't change, Jaehwan. You're still the immature man that I ever knew," She paused, "I hope I never see you again after this night."

"No, I'm so sorry, please,"

"Shut up!" She shouted and tears start to roll down her cheeks. She wiped those in a harsh way until I am preventing her to do that but she pushed me away and stood up.

"If every Christmas Eve reminds me of the thing I never wished had happened, I rather won't wake up every Christmas Eve again. I bet you're really happy now with this life you want. I guess it's our second bye? Yeah, it really is," She finished and turned her back against me.

I started to feel empty again. My throat becomes tight as my vision got blurry.

Come on love, I'll count ten times and if you ever look back, I will eat all shyness in this world and I'll make it all up to you. I'll make you see that the way you look at Christmas Eve was wrong. I'll hold you tight again and I'll never let you fall.

I will make you see love in this world again.

ONE. Hey love, just look back at me.

TWO. It's easy, just look at me.

THREE. Come on, please.

FOUR. Just a glance...

FIVE. I'm getting impatient, love.

SIX. Please...

SEVEN. Only few counts left.

EIGHT. Aren't you going to look back to me?

NINE. It's alright. No...

TEN. Come on, it's not too late.

ELEVEN. I gave you a chance, please just look back.

TWELVE. Last chance, love. Come on.

Before I cry harder, I decided to turn back and made my way home. Maybe, this isn't the right time for us. I got to see her somehow but still, the way she look at me was the same way she looked at me the day I told her my bye.

And that was the worst word I said towards her.

- to be continued -

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A/N:

This didn't looked liked a 'date' omfg.

Sorry.