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:( warning: slightly depressive thoughts stan left an hour before mrs. denbrough was supposed to come home. bill was glad that stan agreed to skip because they took the time to get to know each other better. this lead to them talking about the small things people don't usually ask about and bill found out that stan's birthday was in 2 weeks and he couldn't wait.
as soon as stanley left, he put his jacket on, slipped on some converse, and dashed out the door with his polaroid and a bag of bread in hand. he was planning on making stan a personalized bird book because he felt terrible about what happened to his previous one.
bill made his way to the park and walked up to the tree. he sat down on stan's blanket, instantly feeling comfort, because it was stan's and stan made bill feel safe.
bill couldn't help, but feel slightly scared because he could see georgie's kidnappers house through the trees. he didn't want to be spotted and taken away, just like georgie was.
bill opened the bag of fresh rolls, taking in the delicious scent. he knew his mom would kill him because she just bought them, but it was totally worth it for stanley.
he reached in the bag and started ripping at the bread, throwing it in front of him. soon enough, a few birds came to pay him a visit, as they nibbled on the crumbs lying on the grass. bill didn't hesitate before he took out his polaroid and started taking a few pictures. He didn't know what the names of the birds were, so he was going to have to do some research.
he felt like a disney princess as birds flew around him, chirping at him to give them more food. he stared at them in complete awe, starting to see the beauty stan sees in them.
as he took out more bread, a bird landed gently on his shoulder. at first he was in shock, but when he realized the bird wasn't harmful, he held up his polaroid camera, and took a picture with it. he smiled with his teeth, because he knew that's what stanley loved.
after the photo was taken, the bird got startled from the flash and flew away, brining bill back into reality. he ripped up more pieces and threw them about, watching more birds come and nibble on the fresh bread.
he wished that stan could be here to witness this because bill knew he would absolutely adore it. stan would probably cry if a bird landed on his shoulder, just out of pure happiness.
little did bill know that right at this very moment, that's all stan wanted right now. he wished his tears could be from joy, but it felt like there was no happiness left in the world for him.
• • •
stanley uris sat in his bed, practically screaming in pain. his hands clenched onto his hair as tears poured down his face. his sobs were loud and unpredictable as they escaped his tight throat.
his dad was furious with him and stan felt like an idiot. all his dad asked him to do was memorize a small passage from the torah to read out at the next service, but he couldn't.
the thing that hurt stanley the most was that his dad told him he's a disappointment to the family and then his parents left. they left him all alone to his scary thoughts. he needed bill right now, but he didn't want to bother him. he would think he's being childish and that he shouldn't be crying. bill would think it's true.
stan scraped at his neck, feeling like he was suffocating. the air around him grew thick as he began hyperventilating. he punched his knees and whispered terrible things to himself, and soon he began to believe them.
'dad's right. you're a disappointment to everybody.'
'you are worthless.'
'this is why everybody ignores you.'
'you have no purpose in life.'
stanley desperately needed to get out of this toxic mindset before he did anything he regretted. he worked himself up too much and he really needed bill. so that's exactly what he did.
he stood up, his knees growing weak and his vision slowly fading to black, but he pushed himself to get to the phone. he focused on his steps as he went down the stairs, counting them as he went along.
'almost there stanley. hang in there.'
stan heard bill's voice in the back of his mind, encouraging him to get to the phone. he took a couple more steps until he reached the kitchen, extending his arm towards the phone.
he dialed the familiar numbers and wished more than anything, that bill would pick up.
ring, ring, ring
stan anxiously played with the chord and twirled it around in his fingers.
ring, ring, ring
"come on billy. i need you."
silence.
stanley began to cry harder as he shoved the phone back into place, running out of the kitchen and through the door. he needed to clear his mind, so he went to the one place that made him the happiest.
the park.
he hopped on bike and pedaled as fast as he could, trying not to crash along the way. he dodged cars and people as he sped down the street, becoming closer to his destination.
when he saw it in the distance, he pedaled even faster than he was before, and jumped off the bike, putting his kickstand down, of course. he ran down the small path, not watching where he was going. his sobs were so loud that he didn't even hear the footsteps coming from the other end.
soon, his whole body collided with someone else's, as he fell to the ground. stan had no motivation or strength to get up, so he just sat there, crying into his hands.
"fuck, fuck, fuck. you're an idiot, stan. pay attention, you good for nothing fuck up." stan scolded himself.
"s-stanley?"bill's heart shattered as he saw the boy, verbally beating himself up in front of him. "h-hey. it's o-ok. it was my f-fault." bill breathed out and crouched down next to him. he wrapped his arm around stan's back, stroking his shirt slightly.
bill felt terrible. he thought he was the reason why stan was crying. bill wasn't paying attention either, and he thought that if he hadn't bumped into stan, he wouldn't be in hysterics.
"bill i—i didn't know where you were and i needed you—i'm so happy i found you. i'm falling apart billy. i need your help."
"it's ok stanley. everything's ok. i'm right here and i'll never leave. i promise."
