Chapter four - Darren

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I stop the car on the driveway that leads to the cottage. I sit there for a while, thinking, wondering. Trying to figure out something that might take her back, to make her realise that it was a huge missunderstanding or whatever, i'm just not good with making plans for something like this, she is literally my very first love in my entire life and god, i fucked up really good didn't i?

I get out of the car, taking the few steps to the door, while inside, i make myself some coffee while putting some down music on on my radio. Then i spot it, a letter, from her. It's from today, she's been here before me, leaving this here, to make herself feel a bit better with her choice about me. I read it.

"Darren, you know i love you from the bottom of my heart, to the moon and back. But right now i am very angry with you, mainly for lying, for trying to cover yourself up, to lock me out from your world of horrors. I share my horrors with you all the time, every day i am with you i am in my horror land. I just need you to give me some time to figure out what to make of this. I am trying my very best to see this of your view, but on the same time i can't because you couldn't help yourself, i'm struggling to understand this at the moment. And trust me, i do love you, but just... just give me some time to think, to figure out what to make out of this, alright? I love you...  // Amber"

I stare at the "I love you" parts till all i can see is lines blurried out from my eyes being watered from what feels like tears, salty once too. Kinda stings a bit for someone who's not really this emotional, so yeah...i hope i can fix this, becuase i need to get her back, without her, i'm nothing.

I take the rest of the night outside in the forest, hiding, walking around her house, trying to spot her in the windows, i know she can feel me, perhaps that is why i cannot see her, she knows im here, so she's hiding were i can't see her. I juat need her, im so desperate right now, god, it's sickening. I'm such a creeper.

I place myself in one of the higher trees in their back forest behind the house. I fall asleep pretty fast. I'm not a good guard for sleeping on my watch,o i'd be fired if my boss saw me like this. Like i said, sickening.

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