Resentment [Jacquees]

13: Not Gon' Cry

"I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon cry. I'm not gon' shed no tears..."
-Mary J. Blige

3 months later

Jacquees

I stepped out of the shower onto the small rug beside the tub while tightly securing a dry towel around my waist. I walked into my room and opened my closet, scanning for something to wear tonight. I was about to enjoy another night out with the crew since Naimah was still out of town visiting Nylah and her new born daughter, whom she named after my boo, Ariane.

Things with Naia and I have been better than I could ever imagine. Ever since that run in with Cameron she had a few months ago she's been a changed person. She has this confidence about her that I've never seen, and she smiles a lot more. I love her like this. As long as I have anything to do with it. I was still looking for something to wear when I heard my doorbell. I wasn't meeting up with my niggas until about 10 and it's only 6 'o clock, so who could that be?

Naimah

After spending two weeks in Louisiana with Nylah, my niece and our mawmaw I was beyond ecstatic to be back in Georgia. Since Jacquees wasn't expecting me back any time soon I just caught a cab home so I could surprise my baby.

During the cab ride I sat back and reminisced over my life. This past year has been crazy. It's October and almost time for a new year and I have to say I am beyond ready. So much has changed and I have realized a lot, been down a few times but I always got right back up. I realize who I am now and what I'm worth and I will never accept less. Soraya and I are still tighter than newly installed sew-ins. That's my girl for life. I'll always have her back and she always has mine with her pistol cocked just incase.

As for Rodriquez, he and I are amazing. I am so glad we have finally gotten things with us right. He isn't the same Que and I'm glad of that. I am so in love with him more than anyone could ever imagine and he treats me like a queen so you know I'm here to stay.

My thoughts were beginning to deepen when I heard the cab driver calling my attention. I raised my head and saw that I was outside of Jacquees' house. I dug through my purse for the payment and a tip as her brought my bags up to the front door. Once he returned I thanked him and paid him then began searching for my key to Que's house. I noticed a car in the driveway other than his that I swear I have seen before but I cannot really recall where from.

However, I finally found my key and entered the house. I left my bags by the door and removed my shoes and jacket while walking up the stairs. Before reaching the last stair I noticed his down slightly ajar and I swear I saw a female on top of him. I rubbed my eyes to make sure they weren't playing tricks on me and they weren't. After all he said.. I pushed the door open causing it to slam against the wall.

"Bae!" Jacquees jumped up pushing her off of him looking like he just realized what he had done.

When he pushed the girl he allowed me a better look at her face, the face she wasn't trying to even hide. The face on which a dark and devious smile was plastered.

"Hey, Naia. You missed me?" She asked with the stupid smile still on her face.

If looks could kill, this bitch would be executed but I just shook my head. I could not even cry. I knew something was too good to be true. After all we've been through recently this is the outcome. I just rolled my eyes and turned to walk out.

"Naia! No! Babe, just let me talk to you!" Jacquees hurried down the stairs behind me.

"I don't wanna hear shit you have to say. I can't believe you fucked me over with that bitch!"I yelled back at him fighting tears.

"Let that bitch go, Que. She doesn't know how to handle you. She doesn't need you." She had the nerve to speak appearing at the top of the staircase.

"Mariah just shut up, you've caused enough don't you think?" Jacquees yelled at her.

"Man, fuck that bitch." She waved her hand towards me.

I tried tried to brush it off but the newfound Naia wasn't having that. I grabbed my pocketknife before charging up the stairs at her. She looked like a deer caught in headlights when I slammed her back to the wall and held my knife to her throat.

"Bitch, give me on good reason I shouldn't slit your damn throat." I spoke to her through clenched teeth while tightening my grip around her neck.

She tried to speak but of course, not many words were coming out. I heard her clear her throat and I quickly backhanded her.

"Bitch, you got your nerve. You wanna spit on me? I should kill your ass right now!" I pointed my knife in her fear-filled face.

Jacquees lightly grabbed me to pull me back but quickly put his hands up in surrender when I pointed the knife at him.

"Que, I suggest you back the fuck up."

I diverted my attention back towards Mariah who was backed into the corner holding her chin looking at me as if she wanted to say or do something but she knew better.

"Now you. I told you if I ever saw you near my man again it was your ass. Did you think this was a joke?" Mariah just grimly stared at me.

"Bitch answer me!" I roughly kicked her in her stomach causing her to groan out in pain. "You think this shit is a game? Any other bitch would let you run all them and their relationship, maybe I would have, but not now. I should really kill you, you've caused enough pain in my life and I don't need any more. I'll spare your life though."

I poked my knife in her arm, not penetrating through her skin but enough to cause a small incision.

"Mariah, if I ever see your dirty ass around my man or this house again, you're leaving in a fucking body bag! That is a promise, not a threat."

I put my knife up and Jacquees glanced at me with a look of fear and as if he thought I was crazy.

"I'm not letting this go, Rodriquez. I'll let you explain your story, just not today. I need some time to think." I put my knife in my back pocket and looked back at Mariah who was still clutching her stomach. I just laughed it off and turned t go down the stairs. I was only on the second step when I heard Jacquees yell my name and a force push me down the stairs.

My body tumbled down the steps three at a time. I used one arm to protect my stomach and the other holding my head. In about 5 seconds I was at the bottom of the stairs lying face up with my hand still clutching my stomach. Que was next to me holding my head, looking down at me with tears in his eyes. He and I both had the same thoughts circulating our minds.

"My baby..." I coughed roughly still gripping my stomach.

Que sat me up against the wall then dried his eyes. He rubbed my stomach and kissed it a few times then kissed my forehead.

"It's going to be okay, baby." He tried to reassure me.

All I could do was cry. If I lose my baby I am damn sure going to jail. I was lost in those thoughts and Que was so focused on me neither one of us paid any attention to Mariah hovering over us. However, when it did catch his attention he turned into a person I'd never seen. Jacquees jumped up at Mariah, wrapping his hands around her neck and pinning her up against the wall.

His eyes were filled with a dangerous anger and rage I don't think any one has ever seen. When he finally realized what he was doing he loosened his grip and let her down.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" He barked at her.

Mariah took no chances at trying her luck and just left. Was that good enough though? She'd already done enough damage but I'll be damned if I give this up because of that ho. I do not know what I'll do but what I do it I'm not gon' shed one tear. Those crying days are over and big girls don't cry.