Resentment [Jacquees]

14: Understanding

"There's no way that we can work it out if we don't pull together. I don't mean to be demanding, but I want some understanding. I wanna be with you..." -Xscape 

Jacquees

I lay across Naimah's bed watching her get dressed. I promise when this girl takes her time she really takes her time. Right now we were getting ready to go to the doctor's office to see how things were with the baby. Ever since that fight with Mariah two days ago she's been a bit on edge about everything, mostly with me though. I can't even blame her. I was thinking with the wrong head at the time and let lust get the best of me. 

I don't lust after Mariah anymore because I have everything I need in Naia but in that moment, like I said I was thinking with my dick and she had my mind blown. I'm desperately trying to get things right with my baby though. Naimah is my heart and she knows it. I can't be in a relationship with no trust because how can you love without trust, and to be quite honest, if Naia ever said she didn't love me I might die.

My thoughts had begun to escalate to thoughts of her deciding she could not forgive me for that incident, or worse, what if she loses the baby then draws it all back to being my fault for being caught with Mariah. Damn. I have really fucked up in a bad way. God knows what I would do if I lost Naimah again but if I lose my first child before he or she even comes into this world I honestly do not know what I will do with myself. All I can do is pray and have faith that nothing goes wrong. My imaginations were ruined when I heard Naimah calling my name.

"Rodriquez, I'm ready. Let's go." She said facing me while fixing her shirt. 

"Can I be Que or babe, you calling me by my first name is killing me. Hell, even Jacquees would work." I responded while sitting up in the bed, looking her up and down. Damn, she looked good. 

"No. I'm okay. Rodriquez suits you just fine. Let's go." Naia grabbed her purse and keys turning and walking out of her room. 

I sighed while getting off of the bed. I stretched my body before getting my Jordans and putting them on. I found my phone and keys and headed out of the apartment where Naia was waiting by my car for me. I unlocked the car, opening the door for her and making sure she was in before closing the door. I walked around the car and hopped right in starting the engine and waited a few minutes for the car to warm up. I rested my head on my headrest staring at the ceiling. I couldn't stand this silence. I want to see her laugh and smile. I slightly turned my head to look at her before setting my right hand on her thigh. 

Naimah just looked at me as if I disgusted her. That had to be the most hurtful look I have ever seen from her. By this point I was getting aggravated with all of this. I know it was my fault but damn. I sighed and sat up in my seat before switching gears and pulling out of the parking spot. 

                                                           *****

The image of my child's fetus displayed on the ultrasound monitor brought a few tears to my eyes. The doctor said the baby was fine but she will continue to closely monitor her just in case. Yes, I said her. Althought Naia's only 16 weeks our doctor said she observed closely and she's pretty sure it's a girl. I cannot believe I'm about to be a father. Naimah and I just rekindled our relationship but in my opinion it is not too soon for this. We have a history, a lot of it, and I pray we continue to make one together. 

Although she was being kind of distant and showing agitation towards me back at the house and on the car ride here, she was a bit more sensitive during the appointment. I think seeing the baby gave her some sort of realization about this life and our relationship. I know she loves me, I'm sure of it and I refuse to believe anything different. What we must do is comes to some sort of understanding about where this relationship is heading.

"Baby?" I called out to her.

"Yes?" She glanced up from her phone and met my eyes with hers.

"How long do want this?" I shifted my head against my headrest to look at her.

"What do you mean 'this'?" 

"I mean this relationship. Us. The love we share." I replied twisting my lips, hoping she did not give me an answer I wasn't prepared for.

"Always." 

"Huh?" I raised my head sort of in shock.

"I want us to be together always. I mean damn, I love you, Que. I really do. Beyond that, I am completely in love with you. Yes, you piss me off sometimes and some of your ways are so twisted and things you do annoy the hell out of me, but I do believe what we have is real. I don't really believe in soul mates but I believe in love, and in my heart I know this love is real and in some weird way, somewhere down the line all of these rough patches we've hit will be worth it."

All I could do was smile, every word she spoke I could feel was honest and sincere.

                                                                *****

I was drifting off into a light slumber until I heard Naimah stop the shower. I looked at the clock and it was about 8 PM. The day had quickly gone by and it was nearly over. I don't think I even need to get into what an emotional day it was, but despite that, my baby and I are going to work on our relationship for sure and we cannot let it go at all. 

Naimah came out of the bathroom with her hair and body both dripping wet. Although there was a towel wrapped around her body, it was hugging each of her curves tightly. I bit my lip and watched as she stood in front of the mirror fixing her hair up into a bun. I got off of the bed and wrapped my arms around her waist gently while kissing her neck. She giggled when my tongue rolled over her spot and moved her head to the side allowing me a better access to her neck. 

I turned her around to face me and once she was I wasted no time going directly back to kissing her neck. I kissed her neck then softly bit it and followed it by rolling my tongue over the spot which I could tell was turning her on by the way she gripped my neck and softly moaned. I turned both of our bodies so her back was facing the bed and I ended up on top of her once I carefully lay her body down.

I opened her towel and admired her beautiful physique. Despite the weight she had gained from pregnancy she still looked beautiful in my eyes. Ever stretch mark she complained about I gently placed kisses on them causing her body to shiver. I caressed her body with my hands and kissed and licked her all over. I wasn't really looking to take it to a sexual level tonight I just wanted to show her how much I love her and how beautiful I will always think she is. 

After I finished I carefully lotioned and massaged her body before dressing her in a pair of her boyshorts and one of my tshirts. I got in the bed and a brought her body closer to mine tightly but tenderly holding and embracing her. She snuggled her head in my chest and in a matter of seconds she was asleep. I smiled to myself and placed a kiss on her forehead while rubbing her back.

"I love you, Naimah." I whispered kissing the top of her head and still rubbing her back. 

"I love you, too, Jacquees." She kissed my chest and like that we were both into a peaceful sleep.