Resentment [Jacquees]

27: Epilogue

3 weeks later...

Naimah

"Hi, baby! Did you have fun at daddy's?" I smiled at my daughter, taking her from Jacquees' arms.

"Tell her we had a blast!" He laughed and sat he diaper bag on the counter.

"That's good. Oh, happy New Year to you, Que." I smiled at him while taking the layers of warm clothing off of her.

"Aye, thanks. Same to you. What you got planned for 2014?"

"Who knows, whatever God has in the books for me, you know? I just want it to be better than this past year."

"Right, right. I feel that." He said looking down at his feet. 

I could tell there was something he wasn't saying. Although I already knew what it was I'm not sure how to address it. Truth be told, I miss him. I miss him like hell but I feel like nothing good would come of us getting back together. We were both so sick and tired of each other, how could we say we were still in love? It all felt like a facade. Maybe this break up is what we need. Co-parenting has been working and we're still great friends, at least I think we are. There's always that awkward feeling whenever we're around each other though.

In all honesty, I feel like he has some kind of hold on me. I keep telling myself I have moved on but whenever he's around for even the slightest moments I feel fluttering in my heart and my stomach gets weak. I'm not sure what it is but all I know is it unfortunately has to cease. I'm happy with Dustin. I think I am. 

"Hmph, yeah." I loudly exhaled in order to break the silence in the room. "It will. God always has something better in store, for every one. Even me." I laughed.

"What's funny?" He questioned with a confused look on his face.

"It's just crazy. Life, you know. I used to have such a negative outlook on life but it's like all of that changed. You know it has everything to do with you, right?"

"It does?" Jacquees glanced at me with a raised brow.

"Surely. You taught me how to love myself, even when I wouldn't show it. More importantly, you gave me a chance to know what it really feels like to love someone." Tears began to fill the wells of my eyes.

"You gave me the most beautiful gift ever. Through the pregnancy, birth and raising Rani I have learned the true definition of what it is to love and care for a person with your all. I couldn't imagine a greater person being the father of my child and my best friend." I kissed Rani's forehead and placed my hand on top of Que's. 

He just smiled and held his head back to stop tears from escaping his eyes. The look he held in his eyes let me know he felt the same.

Jacquees

"Damn, Naia. That means a lot." I finally composed myself, responding to everything she'd just told me.

"Thanks, it's the truth. You know you mean the world to me, you always will."

"And you always will." I smiled and stepped closer and grabbed Naimah's hand, "Promise me something though." He stared deeply into my eyes. 

"What's up?"

"Never change. You've been through a lot but you've always kept it together. You've turned out to be such a beautiful and strong young woman. All of the knowledge and wisdom you've gained hold on to it for little mama. You're such a great woman and mother and you deserve to be happy. Promise me you'll stay strong through whatever and always be happily and genuinely, you."

"Damn... I promise. That's means a lot coming from you, but I promise you I will do that." Naimah smiled that beautiful smile of hers.

"Good, but look I gotta get outta here. I'll talk to you later, aight?" 

"Alright, Que. Thanks again!"

"No problem." I kissed her cheek then kissed my baby girl's forehead and turned and left.

I walked out of the apartment and quickly jogged down the stairs hoping it would stop my tears. It didn't. I leaned against the staircase and rested my head against the wall. It pained me so much to not break down and beg for another chance with her although I wanted to my pride wouldn't let me. Maybe it was for the better though. There have been many females and definitely will be more but there will only be on Naimah and I. I'll never forget the love we shared. She's still the one I want to marry but right now I'll let her do her thing and figure out life. She deserves to do that after all she's been through. 

Naimah

I sat on the sofa gently rocking my daughter to sleep. As I swayed back and forth I couldn't help but to think about that conversation with Que. It really opened my eyes a bit more. He's not the same person, then again neither am I. We've both greatly grown and matured and I'm proud to say we did it together. Although we may not be together any longer I will always love him. I may be with Dustin now, but no one will ever take Jacquees' place in my heart. He's given me the most precious gift on Earth. Beyond that, he saw something no one else ever saw in me and never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. I was only ever taught hate and resentment but he took the time to teach me love and compassion. He'll always be special to me, but it's about time we go our separate ways, but this special blessing we created in love will be the glue to forever hold us together... 

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I had such a fun time writing this book! You guys were such great readers and showed so much love! It truly means a lot! I know no one wanted the book to end but it was time for it to end. Thanks again for all of the love! <3