The Soulmate Collection

33 || Send Me A Sign

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Realistic Fiction

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"Where there is great love there are always miracles."

-- Willa Cather

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"Lannie, open the door," she heard Landon's words, but she couldn't follow them. She was consumed with so much sadness. She was angry and felt wrong. Tears cascaded down her cheeks, but she didn't care to wipe them away, for she had failed on the one thing every woman should be able to do; protect her child. "Lannie, I'm serious. Open the door."

She shook her head, as the remorse continued to wrap tightly around her heart and soul. She felt her body try to physically reject what had happened. She fought against the news but the events just played on a loop in her head. A living breathing nightmare that she can't wake up from. Lannie had to move quickly as a wave came up from her stomach and she realized what little food she consumed that night was not going to stay down.

"Babe," Landon sighed helplessly from the other side of the door, as he listened to Lannie's heart physically break, knowing there is nothing he can do. Tears welled up in his brown eyes, but he quickly rubbed them away. Calming his ragged breath, he knocked once more on the door. Before, he heard the sounds of Lannie throwing up. He quickly took the key and opened the bathroom door. Rushing to his wife, Landon kneeled beside her and pulled back her hair. He gently rubbed soothing circles into her back as she continued to cry over the bowl. When he was sure Lannie was finished, he carefully maneuvered her away from the toilet and lifted her into his arms. He carried her into their bedroom as her silent tears soaked his shirt.

He shouldn't love me. I did this. I ruined everything. My body killed our baby. But she couldn't deny the comfort she felt in being in his arms. She needed his touch, his strength, but it felt selfish, for he was suffering too. Lannie felt herself being placed on their bed, but she remained in a tight ball. There was a slight dip on Landon's side before she was securely back in his arms. Gaining the courage she looked into his eyes and could see sadness. I did this. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

Her confession of guilt answered his silent question. She is blaming herself. "No, no, babe. This is not your fault. Shh," he held her close and tried to subdue the light shakes convulsing through her body. "We knew this would be risky. You did not do this."

She heard his firm statement and tried to listen to it, but it wasn't working. "Our baby," she sobbed. "Make it stop. Make the pain, go away," she begged, curling into his warmth, praying to go back in time and pretend today hadn't happened. Pretend that she was still pregnant with a perfect child that would have a beautiful combination of Landon's eyes and her soft curls. Pretend she hadn't taken a nap only to be awakened with pain in her lower abdomen and blood seeping into her sheets.

Landon held his wife of five years as sobbed herself to sleep. Even in sleep, he could see the distress on her face and in her body language. There was no peace. "Lord send me a sign," Landon whispered. "Tell me what to do."

2 months later...

"Babe, come quickly! They're here!" Landon called to Lannie, who was just taking the cookies out of the oven. She quickly took off her apron and ran to meet him by the door. Smiling brightly up at him, she breathed, trying to calm her nerves.

Before the social services could even knock on the door, Landon opened the door widely and greeted the older women. Lannie tried to be polite and pay attention to the woman talking with her husband, but her eyes wandered to the three beautiful children standing beside each other clinging to the eldest young boy. They all had the same dark complexion and the same bright eyes. She just wanted to hug each one of them. She knew from reading the file that the older boy, Anthony, is only 12 and trying to be strong for his younger siblings Anna, who is 8 and Avery, who is 6. Instead of waiting for another second, Lannie walked up to the children and greeted them, "Hello, I'm Lannie. Your foster mom." She extended her hand to the eldest boy and he appeared wary of her, but she understood that. From what the file said they had moved homes many times in the last two years.