Finding Him

9l Convenience

*Typos ahead, thread carefully*

The stillness in the estate was in high contrast with the war that raged within Hadassah. With every second that went by, her agitation, fear and uncertainty continued to rise until it became nearly impossible to keep her mind on her job long enough to do it properly.

Four months! Four entire months away from home and she still couldn't claim to have found a husband. She was running out of time, in only eight months, she stood to lose everything.

While Paul was good to her, she was starting to fear his interest was dwindling or perhaps it was never even there. Surely she couldn't beg him to court her, she panicked, pouring her frustration into the dough she was kneading. Parts of her suspected he was taking his time, perhaps not wanting to rush things between them. Still, the majority part feared two months was more than enough time for a man to decide whether or not he wanted to court and hopefully marry a woman. She certainly did not have a lot of time to spare! She groaned, frustrated.

“I think that is enough.” Something took a hold of her wrist. Turning to the side, she found Berta staring at her, brows pulled together to form a frown. “I think the dough should be allowed to rise now.”

Hadassah nodded numbly as Berta rescued the bowl of dough from her merciless punches. She turned to the sink and took a rag. Wiping her hands, she struggled to still her pounding heart.

“Are you alright, dear?”

“Perhaps.” She put the rag down. When she turned back around, Berta was standing by the work table, watching her with a raised brow. Releasing a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, “I'm worried I might never achieve my aim, Berta. Perhaps I must fall on my knees and beg Paul to come to Sheffield with me, to marry me and help me regain my home and everything my father worked for. I would much rather have a loveless marriage than be trapped in a house with Lord Hadley and be at his mercy.”

Shaking her head, tears stung her eyes.

Berta stepped forward and touched her face, the warmth of the older woman pulling her in and causing her to fall into her arms.

She leaned against Berta's chest. “I'm running out of time.”

“I know.” Berta's hand ran up and down her back, helping to ease her anxiety a little bit.

In that moment, she was reminded of Daniel and the evening she had spent several seconds in his arms.

Heat climbing up her neck and to her face, she pulled away from Berta and turned to the side, afraid the older woman would notice the color that was rapidly setting her entire face ablaze.

She hated the memory of that evening. She especially hated the enjoyment she had derived from being in his arms. It didn't matter that she hadn't been summoned by Daniel in at least a month, she couldn't forget any detail about that evening.

“I had hoped for a marriage built on love,” She managed to speak past the lump that was forming in her throat as the image of the evening with Daniel stuck to her mind, filling her with unease. “But I will settle for a marriage of convenience.”

She closed her eyes and breathed softly, willing her mind to rid itself of the memory of Daniel.

“Berta?”

Her eyelids snapped open. Spinning around, she was just in time to find Lady Talbot making her way into the kitchen.

“My lady.” Berta nodded and Hadassah curtsied. “Forgive me, I didn't hear you ring.”