Finding Him

47l Missing

“That is enough! Both of you!” Lord Talbot's stern voice was powerful enough to halt the argument that had been going on for what seemed to Hadassah to be hours. Not bothering to glance up, Hadassah watched her hands tremble slightly where it was buried between her thighs. “There shall be no wedding.”

“Father?!” Julius protested.

“It is madness to consider wedding your brother's wife.”

“A woman who has proven to want nothing but a large share of the family's wealth!” Josephine hissed.

“That is enough from you too, Josephine.” A loud sigh escaped the Earl's lips and from where Hadassah sat quietly on the couch, glancing down at her hands, she could tell he was exhausted. As was she. She had been seated still for as long as Julius broke the news of their engagement to his family and his mother voiced her disapproval. Her disapproval didn't go down well with Julius and it led to a seemingly never ending argument until the Earl had had enough. “We will not speak ill of family members. I understand it has been a rough couple of months, Lady Hadassah is confused and perhaps too grieved to even consider the gravity of this decision, so is Julius here.”

“I'm perfectly fine, Father, I'm fine and it's the only way to salvage this situation.”

“Your brother is not dead.”

“Yet, he's not dead yet. He'll die eventually and then what, what shall be the fate of Lady Hadassah?”

Hadassah stopped listening then, to Julius and to his parents. She instead let her mind wander somewhere far away, escaping from the terrible feeling of guilt that tugged on her heart at the mere thought of marrying Julius. It was wrong, her conscience screamed, but she knew she didn't have a choice. It would eventually come down to her marriage to Julius. When Daniel dies and she is stripped of everything, it would come down to marrying Julius. Perhaps if she had accepted his proposal in the beginning, the night he showed up in her bed chamber and requested her hand, perhaps she should have said yes. Perhaps then Daniel would be spared this terrible fate of eventual death, perhaps she would have learned to love Julius as she had learned to love Daniel, perhaps she would feel no guilt nor shame when she looked at the baby they had.

Instead, she had chosen to make all the wrong decisions and she was now paying for it. She was back to where fate wanted her; engaged to be married to Julius.

When Hadassah managed to glance up, she was seated in the lavish parlor all by herself. She hadn't heard nor seen when they left but she assumed they must have stormed out, having failed to reach an agreement.

Rising to her feet, she walked on wobbly legs to her bed chamber. The atmosphere in the room seemed cold and empty, inspite of the fire and several furniture that littered the grounds. She knew as she made her way in, that it's emptiness had nothing to do with the lack of furniture, but the lack of Daniel. Having agreed to Julius' proposal, she had found it impossible to spend another night in the same room with Daniel. The guilt nearly drove her insane until she was moving out and appointing a maid to see to his care; that was two days ago, she hadn't seen him since then.

She settled on the sofa in the room and placed her head on the large arm, her eyes fixed on the fire for several hours. She didn't move from her position, not when a maid walked in to inform her of dinner, not when more wood was added to the hearth, not when she heard another knock on the door. She didn't move until she felt a hand settle on her arm.

“Do you mind if we talk? ” Lord Talbot's weary face stared down at her. Swallowing, she nodded and shifted to the side, leaving enough room for the Earl to sit beside her. “Julius insists he does not need my approval for the marriage between you two.”