Finding Him

18l Imagining

The sound of the door opening drew Daniel's attention. He had been sitting alone in the room for several hours, with nothing but a book he couldn't read in his hands, and his mind fixed on Hadassah.

He didn't like Hadassah's absence lately, especially since Leah showed up but he knew it was for the better. Perhaps her absence would make being married to her without consummating their union, easier.

He heard her footsteps crossing the room and placed the book on the table. He sat listening to her movement around the room, mentally imagining what he thought she was doing; looking in the armoire, braiding her hair, changing to her night dress...

“Lady Evelyn Parkinson has extended an invitation to her engagement party.”

Her announcement startled him. At first, he was surprised she was addressing him for she spoke very little or no words to him lately. Then, he was surprised at her announcement for an invitation to an engagement was practically an invitation to a ball; he couldn't attend balls.

“Leah thinks it is best we attend or risk Lady Parkinson's constant invitation.”

He thought of voicing his concerns about Leah's presence in the manor; would her presence present a risk to their secret hideout by leading Lord Hadley to them? Would Leah be missed in Sheffield and eventually traced down here?

“You might have to go without me.” He finally answered, rising to his feet.

“The only reason I keep getting these invitations is because Lady Evelyn seeks to apologize to you.”

“I hold no grudge.”

“Perhaps you should tell her.” She sounded strangely exasperated.

“I do not mean to be a burden, Dasa.”

“I never said you were.” She sighed in what appeared to him to be frustration.

A long pause followed, Daniel's feet tapping nervously on the floor. He didn't know what to say to her, lately, he could barely hold a conversation with her. He had hoped it would rid him of his desire to claim her as his wife, but it had only heightened it.

“Are you ashamed of being seen with me?”

“What?!”

“In public. You seem to want to have nothing to do with me in public or in private. I do not fancy staying trapped in this building with a man who hardly wants anything to do with me.”

He frowned, confused at her assertion. Ashamed? How could she think for the slightest moment that he would feel anything but pride walking beside her? She was the one to feel shame being with him!

“I am not ashamed, how can you even say that?”

“You haven't given me a reason to believe otherwise. We have been married for two months, Daniel and...” Her voice trailed off, giving him ample time to consider her words.

Did it bother her as well that they hadn't consummated their marriage? He thought he had been doing her a favor.

“I cannot force you to the ball but at least accept Lady Evelyn's apology publicly, she is being eaten up by guilt.”

“You wouldn't need to force me to a ball.” His frown deepened. She had also apologized for forcing him to marry her. She believed herself a burden to him, he realized in awe.

He heard her make her way forward, her scent brushing against his nostrils as she made to go past him. He captured her wrist and pulled her back, wanting nothing but to reassure her that she wasn't a burden, nor an instrument for shame. She wasn't anything her silly mind was making her believe she was, she was simply his wife.