Finding Him

12l Seeking Your Hand

The metal of the doorknob was cold in her sweaty palms as she tightened her hold on it, heart racing. She listened to Julius' retreating footsteps through the closed door, knees trembling.

The event of only a few minutes playing out in her mind, she clung to the doorknob, fearing her trembling knees lacked the capacity to carry her entire body.

It wasn't until Julius' footsteps disappeared completely, was she able to release her hold on the doorknob, cross the room on trembling legs and perch on the edge of her bed.

Releasing a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, she felt warm tears make their way down her cheek. How low Lord Hadley had forced her to go! To not only leave behind what was rightfully hers, to not only force her to take on the role of a servant, but to also force her into being desperate enough to agree to a marriage of convenience. A marriage he was now working desperately hard to stop.

As if her uncle ruining her life wasn't bad enough, Julius Talbot had only a few minutes ago, practically assaulted her. He had dishonored her by showing up in her room in the middle of the night, beholding her in a demeaning, lustful manner, and offering to marry her in the most unflattering way she had ever heard of. It had taken everything in her not to claw his eyes out as his hands traced the length of her face, neck and shoulder, causing her skin to crawl in disgust.

Her stomach growled in that moment, reminding her of her hunger. She had been unable to eat more than a few spoonfuls at dinner that evening and following Earl Talbot's announcement, she had been unable to eat anything after that, storming out of the dining area. Her actions would most likely be seen as uncivilized and unladylike but she was too exhausted to consider how her actions would be received by the Earl and his family. 

Several minutes later, she slipped out of her day dress and into a comfortable nightdress. Crawling into bed, she fell asleep.

The days after that went by in a blur. With everyday that went by, her anxiety seemed to rise a notch. She stayed secluded in her room, awaiting the results of Lady Talbot's journey to Sheffield. She knew her uncle would never concede to her marriage to Daniel, rendering Lady Talbot's efforts useless. Still, she hoped and prayed. She prayed that by some stroke of luck, Lady Talbot would succeed in gaining her uncle's approval.

When the night of her uncle's deadline to either return Hadassah to the Hadley estate in Sheffield or face a lawsuit, reached, Hadassah found herself tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep.

She flung a pillow over her head and let out a frustrated groan. Closing her eyes in yet another failed attempt at sleep, she climbed out of bed and made her way out of the building through the front door.

The night air was chilly against her skin as she settled on the front porch. Pulling her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them and leaned forward.

In only a few more hours, the sun would appear in the night sky, announcing the start of a new day and with it, the end of her uncle's deadline. She would then be put into a coach and transported back to Sheffield where she would live the rest of her days under the unforgiving, iron fists of her uncle. He would of course never have her married off for he stood to gain greatly from her spinsterhood.

Hopeless, Hadassah buried her head in her knees and wept, letting out years of pent up anger, frustration and grief.

Her tears flowed easily, loud sobs escaping her lips. She was so busy crying, she didn't hear anyone make their way out of the door, nor settle beside her. It wasn't until she was being pulled against something solid, did she realize she wasn't alone.