Finding Him

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Daniel didn't move, he couldn't. It was impossible to force his hand to take hold of the doorknob or to force his feet to lead him into the room. He trembled with various emotions, anger taking the better part of him.

“Julius forced himself on me!” Hadassah's grieving voice filled his ears, fueling his anger. He had been so stunned by her words, they were powerful enough to keep him rooted to his position by the doorway. “I don't know what happened that evening Daniel, I wasn't conscious!” It was all he heard before storming out of the room, down the stairs and out the front door. He had summoned the footman and without thinking, embarked on a journey to London. His blood boiled with rage screaming to be expressed through his fists. Julius forced himself on Hadassah! His own brother took advantage of his wife! A war raged within him, one that left him nearly breathless, sitting in the carriage and trembling from head to toe. He blamed Julius. Of course the majority of guilt could be laid at Julius' feet. Of course it was Julius who needed to pay to ruining his wife! Yet, as the hours progressed, he found himself blaming Hadassah. He blamed her for keeping the truth from him, he blamed her for believing him incapable of defending her. Perhaps she thought him incapable of standing up to his brother? Instead, she sought to take advantage of his blindness and have him believe a lie for the rest of his life.

Anger drove him to the ship. Anger and a crippling desire for revenge kept him alive even when the ship ended up sinking. For several days, weeks even, anger was all he could hold on to. Then he arrived the boarding house in Italy with a child in his arms and he suddenly realized he didn't care the paternity of the child Hadassah bore, he loved her. He had been willing to abandon his plan to confront his brother and return home to his wife.

Then why are you here? He stood in the empty hallway, unable to answer the question that burned in his heart; he didn't know why he had come. He wanted the truth, the entire truth of what it was that transpired between his brother and his wife and he knew the answer laid only with Julius for Hadassah made it clear she didn't remember. He wanted the truth but he was afraid of it. If he was wise, he would return to the boarding house and ultimately Hadassah. He could convince himself to accept the child. He could even make up scenarios in his mind where Julius didn't bed his wife and the child was truly his. He would convince himself to forget the past and embrace the future. Knowing the truth would do nothing but close the door of that option to him.

Still, his legs stubbornly refused to move. It nearly seemed like he was paralyzed, stuck in the same position, held prisoner by his own legs.

Loud footsteps sounded from somewhere down the hall. Daniel listened to the stranger approach until he was coming to a halt beside him.

“My Lord,” He instantly recognized the butler's voice. “The lady is settled in Lord Talbot's private parlor and has been offered many delicacies. Lord Talbot awaits you inside.”

Before Daniel could protest, the sound of the door being opened, echoed in the hall. It was obvious it was a heavy door, most likely one of those doors designed specially to keep conversations private. His father used a door like this for his study, a place where he conducted business and also managed to keep the noise Daniel and Julius produced while growing up, out.

Heaving a sigh at the memory, he forced his legs forward.

“Daniel.” He heard the door slamming shut behind him and straightened, eyes in the direction of his brother who he assumed sat behind a desk. “I'm pleasantly surprised, Daniel, we received news you had perished in a shipwreck. Daniel didn't fail to note that his brother didn't seem pleased, but surprised however, Julius was.

He knew the news of the shipwreck had spread, but he didn't think anyone would assume him dead. Didn't the owner of the ship inform his family he had been put on a boat? Did his parents... Gasping softly, he thought of the effect such news would have on Hadassah.

“Please, sit.”

Daniel shook his head. “You assumed me dead and managed to throw a ball, a successful one if I am to go by the cheerful sounds of laughter that fills your drawing room. I shall not be surprised to find that you have failed to mourn my death.” His words reflected his anger. “This is not a pleasant call, Julius, I am here to demand the truth.” Even as he said it, he knew he didn't want it. Leave, his heart screamed.

Silence. When Julius didn't speak for a long while, Daniel made a fist. Julius, most likely sensing his brother's anger, crossed the room and the sound that followed told Daniel he was pouring himself a glass of something, most likely spirit if he was to go by the smell of alcohol that filled the room. Julius took a long while to serve himself, Daniel thought, body rigid.

Daniel heard him smack his lips together and sigh in what sounded like satisfaction. “It was the best night of my life!”

It was all Daniel needed, turning in the direction of his brother, he lurched forward, only to bump his foot hard against something. A loud growl escaped his lips accompanied by series of swearing as he kicked the item aside -most likely a chair and continued in the direction of his brother. He was immediate slamming his fists Into something harder and cursing even louder.

Julius laughed, his voice coming from the other side of the room. “You are pathetic, even more so, trying to fight in darkness!”

Roaring, Daniel spun around and lurched forward in the other direction. The path this time was clear as he approached his brother but once his fist was slamming into the wall and Julius' laughter was sounding from the other side of the room, he knew his efforts were useless. Still, he continued, bumping into every furniture in the room, punching holes into the walls, wounding his fists and growling in anger.

Exhausted, he paused, tears stinging his eyes. It was pointless, he knew and so did Julius who stood pouring himself another glass. Daniel could chase Julius around the room but he would never catch him. He would never make his brother pay for his cruelty. And who would believe him if he even dared to bring the matter to the courts? He would succeed in doing nothing but ruining Hadassah and the child forever, while Julius will be allowed to roam free, taking the title of Earl and living in luxury for the rest of his life. Daniel didn't know if he had ever felt so hopeless in his life, he didn't know if the pain of losing his sight could be compared to the many consequences his blindness brought his way.

He heard Julius moving behind him and didn't bother to turn around. There was nothing to fight for, his brother had won.

He heard the door opening and lifted his eyes up, deciding to leave. It was pointless coming here anyway, his entire life was pointless.

“Daniel?” He frowned at the voice; Helena. What was she doing here? What would she think of him now, considering his present state. He must look terrifying especially with blood covering his fist...

Something exploded! It wasn't just the sound that exploded in his ears, causing his ears to ring, it was an explosion of... Light...

His knees suddenly felt weak, his head sending shockwaves of pain around his entire body. Struggling to maintain his footing, he snapped his eyelids shut against the blinding light and fighting the battle to remain standing, he felt his body make contact with the floor.

“Pa!” A loud shrill tore through the air.

“I didn't, I didn't do anything to Hadassah. But this information doesn't matter, Daniel, you'll never see your wife or son again.”

Daniel must have groaned in pain when something took hold of his shoulder, jerking him forward. “Pa?!” Tears laced her voice.

“Hel...He...ena...” He forced his eyelids apart and was stunned to find the blurry image of a full head of hair, pressed to his chest.

The image was brief and barely visible before his eyelids snapped shut and he surrendered to the darkness once more.

Copyright © 2018 Lily Orevba All rights reserved.

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#freakingout.