South Park One-Shots

The Red String of Fate - Eric Cartman

Eric Cartman x Reader

For: Porymendolena

They called her the matchmaker, but that didn't really explain Y/n's gift. She didn't pair people up; she only noticed what was already there.

You see, Y/n was born with the amazing talent of being able to see a red string connecting people that were meant to be together forever, and she knew that this would both gain her popularity and ostracize her all at once. After all, if someone wanted to know who they were meant to be with, she would immediately be their best friend, but if they didn't like who she said, then she'd be called a liar and a bitch. It was quite the double edged sword, but she had gotten used to the reactions.

At least until he came along.

His name was Eric Cartman, and they met when he was in her geometry class. He had dropped his pencil and bent down to grab it at the same time that she had, causing their fingers to brush and their eyes to meet.

And then she saw it; the red string that was connected to his chest. It spun its way around his chest once before shooting outward, wrapping itself around her waist snugly as though it had been waiting to be there all its life.

She almost couldn't believe it. She had finally found her soulmate.

She knew she couldn't just tell him that, because he would either not believe her or completely find her creepy, or – even better – both! Instead, she just pushed his pencil back into his hands and spun back around, her cheeks glowing brightly as her eyes focused intently on what Mr. Garrison was explaining to the class.

For the rest of the class period, all Y/n could think of was her soulmate. What was he like? Did he like the same snacks as her? Maybe they had the same music taste, and that's what had brought them together... She didn't know, or maybe she just didn't care, but what she did know was that she was going to ask him to hang out after class, because then she could figure out what he like, just like every other normal person...

Even though she wasn't normal, her brain whispered to her while she scribbled down the notes from the whiteboard.

She already knew that she and Eric were meant to be together, so how did that give him a fair chance to fall in love with her? It didn't, did it? She couldn't do that to him. She'd let him approach her, if he was interested, and then get to know him.

But... what if he never does?

Well, Y/n thought to herself with a reassuring straightening of her back, that's impossible. We're meant to be; we'll cross paths... eventually.

And with that final thought, the bell rang out loudly, causing her to grab her school supplies and rush out of the classroom, leaving behind the doodle of Eric that she hadn't even realized she was doing.

Said boy watched her leave, his eyes a bit wide, before turning back to her desk. He noticed the drawing and felt a funny feeling in his belly, like the excitement he got when he saw his waitress coming with his favorite meal. Was it the drawing? Or, perhaps it was that (e/c) eyed girl, who had tripped over her own sneakers on her high-speed race out of the room.

He needed to talk to her, or, at least give her her drawing back. Though, it was entirely possible that she could die of embarrassment when she realized that she had drawn a photo of him... and he had seen it.

Cartman shook his head, dismissing the thought and instead deciding that he'd just slip it into her locker, along with a letter telling her to meet him at Stark's Pond after school on Friday, maybe so...

So what? What did he expect to come out of this? Why was he hung up on this girl, in the first place? She was no different than any of the other girls, except that her eyes sparkled, and that she seemed to be such a beautiful creature inside and ou- holy shit, he liked her!! Eric Cartman, the boy who could kill a man without blinking an eye, had feelings for a girl of whom he had had .00005 seconds of interaction with? What the fuck!?

"Eric, you need to leave my classroom, I have a lunch break too, yah know?" Mr. Garrison sighed, lifting his women's erotica book and giggling at the obscenities, "Mhmmm, wish Taryn would do that to me..."

The boy, who had once been fat but had slimmed down to only a fraction of his weight, grew disgusted with Mr. Garrison and quickly left the room, going to the lunchroom to see if he could resolve his problems there.

"So, how many people have you matched up today, Y/n?" Bebe teased, wrapping her lips around a spoonful of mashed potatoes before raising an eyebrow at her best friend. "Fifty? Sixty? Any teachers?"

Y/n gave her a polite smile, though her hands were folded delicately in her lap, which she stared intently at. "No, just... just two people, today."

Immediately, Bebe lost the teasing nature and came to sit by Y/n's side. "Honey, what's wrong? Are you alright?"

Y/n's eyes were wide at the sudden affection and she nodded, "Y-Yeah! I'm fine, just got shocked earlier today, th-that's all!" She tried to laugh the situation off, but her heart still ached at the idea of possibly not ending up with her soulmate. God, sometimes she hated her gift! Why couldn't she just be blissfully unaware, like every other fucking person on the goddamn planet!?

Suddenly, she couldn't handle it anymore. She needed him to know that they were meant to be, and she needed to see what his reaction to it all would be. So she got up swiftly, looked around the lunchroom until her eyes met with the sight of Eric laughing and joking around with his friends, and she stomped her way over to him, ignoring her friends' teasing chants of "You go girl!".

She slammed her hands down onto the boys' table, her eyes feverish and frantic and filled with tears of desperation because she knew he was going to reject her, or mock her, but it was worth it to finally have him know!

The boys all looked at Y/n, and Kenny gave her an easy smile, "Hey, Y/n, how's it-"

"ERIC CARTMAN! YOU AND I ARE SOULMATES! WE'LL LOVE EACH OTHER, AND...and..." Y/n was losing her momentum, but the stunned look in Eric's eyes kept her going, "AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOVE ME RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU WILL! BECAUSE THE RED CORD BETWEEN US SAYS SO!"

And, after proclaiming that loudly, Y/n ran out of the lunchroom as fast as her feet would carry her. She didn't have to have a response from Eric today, or tomorrow, or even a month from now. He may not believe it at first, but the two of them would one day be together, and that's all that mattered to Y/n. She had found her soulmate, and her soulmate knew they were meant to be, and that's all thanks to Y/n's red string of fate.