Heartbeat // A Derek Hale Love Story (Teen Wolf)

My Fault

Derek's POV

Even with my heightened senses, what happened once we got to the hospital came in a blur. Ben was firm and clear with his assessment of Lillian, and Alaric was the first surgeon to meet us. Lillian tried to take the bloody oxygen mask off to talk, but Alaric gently pushed it back against her face.

"Thank you, Austin," Alaric dismissed Ben with a grateful nod and he turned away after a final comforting brush of Lil's shoulder. Alaric forcefully summoned another doctor in dark scrubs with a wave of his hand. "Prep OR four for a laparotomy."

Lillian grabbed her father's gloved hand, terror lighting her eyes. "Please, dad—"

"I will make sure it is done right, but it has to be done," Alaric stated.

"Can't you—"

"I cannot be the one to operate, you know that," Alaric said, his voice edged with sternness. That was all he said before another doctor came and wheeled Lillian towards the elevator, Alaric and I following suit. Lillian was trembling by the time we got to the floor I assumed housed the operating rooms, coughing into the mask stained red.

I had tears, that seemed to be a new fixture, in my eyes as I took in her fear. The fear I could barely do anything to staunch. Her father's presence and words did hardly anything, and I knew mine was the same. Maybe even less so.

The woman I understood as the surgeon operating on Lillian kept moving with the gurney when Alaric caught my shoulder.

"We cannot go further—" he began before I lurched after the gurney. I grabbed Lil's hand one last time and looked at her.

"This isn't something you can't handle. I'll see you when you get out," and I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her forehead.

Lillian twined her blood-stained fingers with mine, leaning into me, taking a hoarse breath. "Okay," she breathed.

The surgeon's mouth quirked upwards ever-so-slightly before we let go and she continued her path toward the OR.

I made my way back to Alaric, who was smiling sadly as well.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" I asked, running a hand I barely noticed had blood on it through my hair.

Alaric sighed. "I think so. Dr. Mazurek is a very good surgeon. And I will be going in there in a minute to make sure everything good after they put Lillian under."

"Where can I wait?"

"The waiting room," was Alaric's reply, where he then directed me. "Either Dr. Mazurek or I will come tell you when the procedure is done."

"Thank you," I said, sliding down into a chair.

"Thank you for staying with her," Alaric told me. "I know she cares about you very much."

"Do— do you mind coming to tell me when you think she's out of the woods?"

"She won't be out of the woods for a while yet, Derek," Alaric said sadly. "But I will tell you when they are close to closing."

I didn't bother to check myself before asking my next question. "How are you so calm? It's your daughter in there."

"This is my job, Derek," Alaric replied, sitting in the seat next to me. "And I have been through this before. With my wife."

My heart sank as I glanced at him sidelong. "She didn't make it."

"No. And Lillian hasn't been inside the walls of this hospital since she watched her mother die."

That is when the tears finally spilled over. No wonder she so passionately did not want to come back in here.

"I am so very sorry," I murmured, gripping my hands together. "But you think Lillian will live through this?"

Alaric nodded. "If Dr. Mazurek can get control of the bleeding, yes. She will. I don't know how much blood Lillian lost, but I think if it had been up to her she would have waited to come. By then it would've been too late."

More tears slid free, as silver lined his eyes too.

"So thank you. You may have saved her life."

My stomach hollowed, not bothering to add that had I not been there Lillian would still be fine. She was getting cut open because of me. I made her horse spook, and crush her. She might die because of me.

It was my fault.

A/N: Thanks to all of you who have been reading and voting and commenting! I love that people other than me like this book!

Cheers,

- TAAF_