Heartbeat // A Derek Hale Love Story (Teen Wolf)

Don't Tell Her

A/N: Okay so please don't give up on this chapter even if you find the beginning a bit boring. Trust me. This chapter is very important. 

In other news, thank you so much for the 1000+ votes! I love that people read my writing that I put so much work into and that you enjoy it!

Cheers,

- TAAF_

PS: I actually do jiu-jitsu and it's a super fun martial art that I definitely recommend. (That comment will make sense when you read :)

Lillian's POV

I was awake long after Stiles left. I made myself busy researching whatever kind of sympathetic reaction I might have had to Derek being shot. I didn't understand it, and neither did the internet, apparently.

My search yielded very little relevant information. There were some sources that referenced people and animals having sympathetic pain reactions to others they were significantly attached to, that their function of empathy was so strong that it translated to the 'transfer' of physical pain from one to another.

What didn't make sense was the fact that I had no idea that Derek was hurt until Stiles told me, after the fact. And I knew I hadn't made up that pain. I hardly ever woke up from things but the stabbing pain in my arm was something I knew for a fact I had not made up.

I'd never been shot but I would imagine it felt something like what I felt, only a lot worse. But maybe it was all just a ridiculous coincidence. Maybe I had a terrible muscle spasm and it had nothing to do with Derek. Maybe I was just coming up with excuses to think about him. But maybe I wasn't, too.

As I got ready for bed, I reached in my dresser drawer for a new pyjama shirt and my hand stopped, hovering over the tank top section. My workout shirts. It had been a long time since I'd worked out or trained with someone. First, the accident, then my only training partner ending up being a supernatural being.

I needed to get back into it. Evidently without Derek.

*

I hadn't been to an open-mat session at the Foundry ever because I always had a training partner, but now that I didn't, I thought it might be a good place to get some practice. I invited Stiles, but I didn't know if he'd show up.

I knew it wasn't likely that any of the people in the room knew Kali, but I brought my sticks with me anyway. There were a few people already rolling and sparring, all paired up, so I picked up my sticks and approached the line of punching bags at the end of the room. I went through a series of warmup drills, the sound of my sticks pummeling the bag resounding in the space, until someone came up behind me.

"Do you want to roll?" a woman asked, and I turned.

"I don't really do jiu jitsu, but sure," I replied, sheathing my sticks in my bag and setting it in the corner. "I'm Lillian," I said, extending my hand to shake her hand firmly.

"Thea," she replied, her handshake equally firm.

"Do you train a lot here?" I asked her, trying to remember if I'd ever seen her before. I had a feeling I would have remembered her if I had. She had one of those faces. She was a lot smaller than me, with fine features and upturned eyes.

"Yeah, I just got my purple belt," Thea responded.

"That's pretty cool," I admitted. "Just don't break my spine or something," I joked.

"I'll try not to," she said.

*

Two hours later, I was hooked on jiu-jitsu. Thea completely kicked my ass, but there was something awesome about it. Jiu-jitsu was rough and you had to fight for everything. Every advancement was a struggle, and Thea tossed me around like a baseball. We trained the next day, and then the next day after that, too. Trained until Thea practically had to drag me off the mat. And I still wanted more.

*

I didn't know it was possible to love bubble baths more than I thought I already did, but since I started jiu-jitsu I had grown to appreciate them more. I was so sore after three hours of Thea kicking my ass. But it felt good to be doing something physical other than riding. It took my mind off things. I was starting to think that maybe getting Derek off my mind was never going to happen which was pretty annoying.

I hadn't heard much from Stiles or Scott recently, other than seeing Scott at the clinic. I wanted to talk to them about how Scott was adjusting or whatever but that would mean me getting involved, and as of then, I was content not to be.

After my bath, I made my way down into the barn to check on the horses before I settled in for the night. Ophelia and Fraser both had their heads hanging over their stall doors, watching me. They wanted food, it looked like.

A chill settled over me, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, and I could just feel that something terrible was going to happen.

That's when the worst pain I've ever felt in my life tore through my back. There was no stopping my scream as I collapsed into a stall door, unconsciously curling into the fetal position. The pain was so intense that I could hardly negotiate the room around me as it flashed in and out of focus. It felt as though claws had ripped through my spine, but as I blindly felt for a wound, there was nothing there. Nothing but searing pain. For what felt like minutes, nothing else existed but that pain. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. Tears dripped onto the stone aisle of the barn.

Gradually, the pain began to fade away like the tide, and I managed to sit up. Ophelia whinnied nervously, and I glanced up at her grey face, the lights of the barn harsh. Leaning against her stall door, I picked up my phone, my heart pounding with terror as I dialled Stiles' number. I had a terrible feeling I knew what just happened, and I hoped to God I was wrong.

"It's Lillian," Stiles said to someone as he answered. "Hello?"

"Stiles," I ground out, the pain still there. I wasn't even sure I could get up. "Do you know where Derek is?"

He paused, and I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, sniffing.

"Uh," Stiles started, his tone wary. "Yeah."

"Is he okay?" I demanded, my mouth dry as I waited for a response. When none came, I repeated myself, my voice climbing into a panic. "Is he okay?!"

"No."

"Why not?" I pressed, my blood going cold at the thought of what caused my pain.

"Don't tell her!" Scott's voice.

"Don't tell me what?!" I hissed, panic taking hold. "What's going on?!"

"Lillian," Stiles said slowly. "Derek might be dead."