CONFESSIONS.

046.

okay right so, I was way too terrified to send this on the account I usually use.

I have a confession (I guess that's how you start it..)

My entire life, I've been a girl. And I haven't questioned this really at all.

That being said, there were random things that kind of led up to my realization. Like how my sister was watching some video about drag kings and I was like, "hey, i wanna do that" and just generally relating more to the guy characters in books, movies, and other media.

Okay. Anyway. I'm a guy; I mean, I'm not a guy to anyone but myself. Or, I'm transgender. I'm a transgender boy.

No one knows. Except some random person I told on the internet (who I'll never talk to again so it doesn't really count, does it?) and myself. On the internet, I present myself as a guy, use a guy's name (my preferred name), but in real life, I'm a girl. My mom won't let me cut my hair because it'll make me look like a boy, and she doesn't understand that that's what I want. (I guess it's my fault. I haven't told her. I'm terrified.)

I'm just scared. I feel like the world is more accepting of shit like this (am I allowed to curse on this??? whoops.) and all, but I'm not sure about my family (my mom in particular) and some of my friends.

And my mom says I can't cut my hair till I'm eighteen. Which means I can't remotely resemble a guy in a few years.

At least I have a deep voice (for a biological girl).

just had to get this off my chest. (speaking of chests,,, i'll stop,,,)

did this make any sense? mostly likely not. oh well.