felix lee | freckles

15

"You're pretty."

"I'm what?" You replied.

"I said, you're pretty."

"Next joke bro."

"Ah ouch the friend zone." He clutched his chest as the two of you conversed. You hit his shoulder repeatedly, why was he always joking.

"Oh shut up. You can't say that if you don't like me."

He went silent, "Who said i didn't like you?"

You jolted up. Not again, not another dream. These days you were finding it harder and harder to get him out of your head. The more you thought about him the more you started to hate yourself for pushing him away. You brushed your hands through your hair, it was so late in the evening and you didn't really feel like going out to look at the stars that night. You stretched your legs out, removing the blanket and crawling out of bed to open the box Felix had left you. The sound of the letters in your hand as you shuffled them felt like music filling your ears, as you sat there hoping there was something for not being able to sleep, till you found it.

"If You Have A Bad Dream"

In this case multiple, but they weren't so bad. They were quite repetitive, always the same one over and over again. Though for some reason the feeling felt so real. Like some form of deja vu.

"Hey y/n,

bad dream huh? I got this idea from the night you slept over.

You know what my favourite english word is? I guess it's lovely. Lovely. You know why? Cause Stray Kids fans are so lovely.

I don't know why I said that but yeah.

Anyway...

I feel like there's one day that was erased from history that we shared.

It was the night before I left. Do you remember it like I do? I hope you do, though if you don't I guess I'd be more than happy to remind you.

You finally talked to me.

For the first time in fricken' ages.

You were outside the front of my house, just like you were the first time I met you. Looking at the stars. You looked calm, peaceful.

Unbothered when I came and stood next to you. I really thought you were just going to walk away. You were a little loopy I guess, probably because you had a few big tests and studied all night or maybe because you slept way too much. That happened often with you, I started to notice when I saw you at school, recalling the night before and seeing your light still on.

It was around 2 o'clock in the morning and to say the least I couldn't sleep either.

You said something, about the stars being pretty and I finally said it. What had been on my mind for so long.

"You're pretty." It fell out, more like ran out of my mouth. I could't believe I actually said it.

"I'm what?" You replied.

"I said, you're pretty." You laughed at me. Why tho?

"Next joke bro."

I wasn't joking. Why didn't you believe me? It made me feel frustrated.

"Ah ouch the friend zone." I said ( and thought ), did you not like me?

"Oh shut up. You can't say that if you don't like me."

Who said i didn't like you huh? Who said that? Cause give me a name and i'll give em' a taste of my fist. Well.. not really but yeah.

You went silent too after I said what I said, so I thought to myself, I had already done one thing that had been trapped in my mind so I said 'why not' again.—

You stopped reading.

You remembered.

The moment of silence between you two. The suffocating nature of the moment had caused that loopy feeling of yours to disappear.

The twinkle in his eyes as his met yours, moving his hand under your chin.

"Can i kiss you?" He asked and you looked at him, not being able to let the words come out of your mouth.

"Please say yes, I don't know what I'd be able to do if-" You interrupted him, "y-yes"

Then without a second spared his lips met yours, you felt stiff under his lips not knowing what to do but it didn't take long for you to melt into his kiss. It was short and sweet, a moment of bliss, your first.

—and I kissed you, in summary of this. Whenever I think of that kiss, it calms me. I hope it does you...

I'm sorry that I am leaving - wait no past tense.. I mean... left the next day.

Before I kissed you I said that I didn't know what to do if... well, I never got to finish my sentence. I meant to say that I wouldn't know what to do if I left you without being able to do what I had wished to do since I first got to know you. If I left you on bad terms ugh.

Everything was finalised, and I found no reason to stay any longer, until that night.

You gave me every reason to stay, and though I am young I am literally ready to risk it all for you, the girl next door who I knew for a few days. Love at first sight? Those words started to exist in my head the first time I laid eyes on you, I started believing them more when I got to know you... and the words were cemented those very moments my lips met yours.

For leaving you, I'm sorry."