Chapter 11

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"Ready?" I just rub my arms as I look anywhere but at River. He had a manly, yet youthful look. No doubt he was strong. Those arms were just popping! But then, his face was just gorgeous.
He looks like a fucking super model.

And then there's me.

"Yup." I mutter as I begin to walk towards the entrance but suddenly I flinch once River's arm is wrapped around my waist.

Focus on the movie Emmer. Focus. On. The. Movie.

Suddenly I sigh once I see a beautiful red couch in the middle of the room. Then there was a little black table with red candle and a rose in the middle. My heart can't help but flutter.

"Let's sit down." River whispers in my ear making me shiver. I just nod and sit down on the couch. River sits down flashing me a dashing smile and then looks at the screen.

"What are we watching?"

"Me Before You." River replied sad yet happy. He was like, midway. But I shrugged it off as we watched the movie.

River slowly moved closer to me as the movie began making me just wanna faint. Literally faint.

"Do you remember this movie at all?" I just shake my head as I watch him sigh. He put his arm around my shoulder making me smile.

Why I'm smiling I have no clue.

I could smell the mint in his breath from a mile away! He smelled nice, but a bit too strong. Too much mint to be honest.

"Look Ems," River starts off but coughs quickly looking to the side and then back at me flustered. "I-I need..." Now he looked sad. Extremely sad.

What could make him so sad?

"I need that ring on your ring finger."

"Will you marry me?" He slowly opens up the ring box only to reveal a beautiful ring that somehow stayed nice in the box without breaking.

No. What is this? Why is this playing in my mind?

"Shit." I mutter under my breath as I put m hands on forehead in pain. River just stared at me shocked.

"Ems what's wrong?"

And before I knew it I had grabbed River's face and kissed him. At first he was shocked, but then gave in. He quickly smiled as if a relief had been lifted off his chest.

"Ems," He pauses while grabbing my waist. He looked pained and happy.

"I don't think you understand, exactly, how much I want your lips against mine."

My heart just fluttered. I felt as though something in my body was beginning to wake up. I felt as though something was coming back. Like, a feeling that was needed to come back.

"Ems, I want to be craved by you. I want you to think about kissing me as much I think about kissing you. I just want to know, do you want this to happen?"

In this moment, I say yes. I want him. And only him.

"River, I don't know if I will want you tomorrow, in the next hour, or even if I will ever want you again after this but, all I know is, I need you to kiss me like it was the last time."

Because it is. I'm leaving after this. I can't be with all of this stress. I need a new start for now.

And I'm leaving with Tyler. And I know it's for the best.

For everyone.

And right then, River grabbed me by my waist and kissed me on the lips. I could feel his lips begin to quiver as though he was about to cry. I know this man may act tough on the outside but, on the inside I know he's soft about who he cares for. And that's why I'm leaving. All I'm going to do is hurt him. I'm not going to remember him ever again. And I should keep it that way. But, I will never forget my kids. But since they are so young, I want them to forget me. My sister looks practically exactly like me. So, both River and I's parents agreed for Eveline and River to be married.

I want this. Everyone needs this.

I know I do love this man deep down somewhere. It's just so hard to find. I've given up. I've hurt him too much.

Before I could even notice River had taken off my top. When we stopped the kiss he just smiled.

"Ems, Thank you for staying." I just nodded and before I could cry I grabbed his face to kiss me again.

I have to stay strong, he will always be a memory. A great memory. But, this is what we both need.

The thing is, I don't remember all of the things that happened between us in the last. But, I know that those feelings are still there. But, they are hidden. Forever.

Because I know I will not remember what happened between us before.

But, I know whats happening right now.

And it's love.

****

"Tyler. Are you almost ready?" I sadly remember everything with Tyler. The cute moments we shared. The scary, happy, angry, passionate, and cuddly moments we shared. I remember it all as if it had happened five minutes ago. I just can't remember River.

And I'm keeping it that way.

"Okay." Tyler came out with his things. He was in an unbuttoned green plaid top and ripped blue jeans. He just stood there and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"I'm glad your back E." I just nod and grab his hand with mine and smile.

We walk down the stairs, through the kitchen, loft, and living room. I can't look at my kids. I need them to stay strong. I walk out the front door and sigh as I look back. Tyler had already walked to the car and set our things in the car. I don't know exactly where we are going but, I know that it will be far away from here. I just hope I can stay strong.

I need to stay strong.

🥀💍🥀

Okay, is it okay that even I the author am crying. I'm so serious lol. It probably isn't helping that I'm listening to sad cello music lol.
Anyways, I hope you guys aren't too sad or anything. Btw, Emmer DOES NOT REMEBER RIVER! BUT SHE REMEMBERS TYLER!
Love ya!

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