like real people do | c.g [#wattys2019]

R H E E

TWO YEARS LATER

It's astonishing how waking up to an empty bed will never fail to depress me. It's been so long but every morning there's still that tiny inkling of panic before I remember. That Carl isn't here, that I don't get to wake up to the raspy sound of his voice in the mornings or the feeling of him running his hands through my hair anymore. That a side of a bed that I have been forced to make my home will always be cold.

Okay, that's dramatic. Enid always says I'm too dramatic when he's gone. He's late this month, it's been three weeks since I've seen him, and sometimes I swear I'm ready to move back to Alexandria. I wouldn't- the Hilltop's my home, it's been my home for the past couple years and leaving it would forever hurt- and even if I would, I can't.

I'm already being prepared for 'leadership' one day. Nothing too big, not yet, but people eventually expect me to take over from mom. I'm already looked at as a slight second in command- or at least, the closest thing to that. She won't actually allow me to handle anything important, she says I'm too young. That I should live my teen years without worrying about deliveries being late or how the crops are doing this month. But it's second nature by now, the way I try to follow in her footsteps.

Enid straight up said she couldn't handle it, she never would. Leadership isn't her thing- I disagree. I think she'd be an amazing leader one day, but she wants me to do it, and people seem to like the idea as well. There's an underlying sense of authority to my name that people seem to respect. It's nice, being looked at for guidance. I'll enjoy it when I'm older.

Carl and Enid really don't, though. Being 'The Leaders' Kids'. He always complains people look at him differently, that he feels watched. To be honest, the new Alexandrian kids don't really click with me. The families that have wandered our way, the ones we've taken in? Their kids are all nice. Respectful for the most part.

There were some issues, especially at the beginning. A couple boys who joined us after Negan's threat was eradicated, from families that hopped safe-zones. They'd never stuck around to see communities fall, to see the damage, so they'd never fully had to fight. Not like we did.

So, they didn't understand why people respected my family so much, or even the Grimes family. Some other teens would whisper about Carl and I- about the boy that shot up the Sanctuary and the girl who slashed the throat of Negan's second-in-command. They made up rumors that Enid and I had completely perfect aim like we were trained assassins, or that Carl lost his eye saving my life. They acted like we weren't just kids too, like we didn't just have to grow up faster. Like we were nothing but soldiers. That faded eventually, thank god, when they started understanding that we weren't psychopaths.

But these kids weren't intimidated or scared. The others acted like we were untouchable and they never understood why. So, they tried their luck. One of them punched Enid when she rejected his advances, and I ended up getting in trouble because of the other. I broke his wrist when he got too handsy and this community has a strict rule of no violence amongst the residents.