23. Can't Promise All My Patience

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Upon hours of music, snacks, spilling our feelings, bringing up memories, and crying, Harper and I arrived back home at our apartment at 10:23pm. I drove the whole way, because I know how stressed out Harper was. We stopped twice to eat and pee. That's it.

We were now sitting in the apartment's parking garage while Harper dialed her mom. She put it on speaker.

"Hello?" Trina answered.

"Hey mom. Can we come? We just got home." Harper said.

"Yeah. She's sleeping now, but dad and I are awake." She replied quietly.

"Hi Harper." Harper's dad, Scott, whispered into the phone.

"Hi dad. We're on the way."

"Okay." They replied. "We'll text you with the floor number and room and stuff." Trina said.

"Okay sounds good." Harper said. "Love you."

"Love you, bye."

Harper looked at me, more worried than before.

"What?" I said.

"Well, before we go, I need to talk to you." She looked down.

"Okay, what's going on?" I asked. I watched as she shifted her position in her chair. She got on her phone and pulled up her texts.

"So, I texted Ari for a few hours." She admitted.

My stomach dropped. She obviously knows I didn't want her texting him with the way she's acting right now. "Okay, and why?" I questioned. My blood heated up a little bit.

"Well, I wanted to hear his story. I wanted to hear more about that girl. You didn't give him much of a chance to explain, and I seriously applaud you for that, Aria. You're strong willed. But I had a gut feeling that I needed to hear more about what he had to say about the situation. I just felt like I had to ask. He texted me first anyways, I honestly wouldn't have texted him first. I promise. But my gut was telling me to go with it." She said.

I nodded, understanding her side of things. "So what did you guys talk about?"

She handed me her phone. "I'll drive to the hospital. You can read them on the way?" She offered.

I nodded. We both stepped out of the car, stretched, and then switched seats. I climbed into the passenger, and began reading through the texts.

The first one was at 2:00pm, 7 hours after we left LA. I looked over at how much I had to scroll down, and it was a lot. I braced myself for a lot of reading.

Ari: i'm sorry i'm bothering, but i tried to stop by the hotel so i could explain myself, and you guys didn't answer. aria's phone doesn't even ring. is everything okay?

Harper: Hey Ari.. we left LA. my little sister is in the hospital with heart problems, so we've been driving to Seattle for like 7 hours. aria blocked your number. she's stubborn, sorry. But i also think she did it with good reason

Ari: i'm really sorry to hear about your sister. you guys must've left really early. i'm so so sorry. is she gonna be ok?

Harper: I think she'll be alright. We just had a knee jerk reaction to leave. everything is ok

Ari: okay okay... that's good to hear. did aria really block my number?

Harper: yep

Ari: she won't let me explain

Harper: Put yourself in her shoes

Ari: okay, i understand. but if aria won't hear me out, can you? can i explain all this shit to you? i just need to get it out. you don't have to tell aria if you don't think she'd want to hear it. i don't want to bother her. but what happened made me feel like a jackass and i don't want that to be the last thing remembered of me.

Harper: I'll listen

Ari: okay, so that girl veronica? i met her a couple years ago when i first moved to LA. she was a mutual friend of Victoria's friend. they all came to my house for a party when i had first moved in. long story short, we got drunk as hell and hooked up. it was just that one night. she wanted to keep talking after that, but i wasn't feeling it. she actually ended up showing up at all the parties i went to. she was at one of my concerts here, and i hooked up with her that time too. it was a few times. this is awful, but she was a comfort for me. she'd listen to me when i needed it, but we'd always end up doing something or ending it with sex. that's all she wants. last night at the concert she snuck back there and told the security guard some bullshit story. she came in and closed the door and literally immediately took her shirt off. i was sitting in that chair, and she came and sat on me and unbuttoned my shirt. she started with kissing my neck, and i kept telling her it wasn't gonna happen. she tried to convince me with more kissing, and i was about ready to stand up and start yelling. before i even had a chance to do anything, aria fell through the door. i was so fucking mad at veronica until i saw aria. my heart just kinda flipped a switch and it felt like everything was slow motion. i saw the hurt in her face. and i hurt too. you guys left, and veronica put her shirt back on when she realized she wasn't getting anything from me. i told her kindly to get the fuck out of the room and to never bother me again. she seemed to understand, so she left too. i haven't even thought about anything since aria. she texted me and told me she didn't want to be in the way of anything, but that's all i want. i want her straight in the middle of everything. and i want her to stay there. she's something i haven't ever found, and i can't stop thinking about it. i need her to know that

The story makes sense, and he's sincere. I just don't know how to handle things like this, and I didn't want to have to make sense of anything or deal with it. This isn't how an adult should be handling things, but it's just something so unreal to me.

Harper: I see where you're coming from... I'm sorry that veronica did that. if I'm being totally honest, I think aria was so embarrassed. she didn't know the full story, and that just kinda set something off in her to remove herself completely. it was SO awkward and I can imagine how much that upset her. we were coming to talk to you, and I accidentally pushed her over trying to untangle a lace in my shoe. she cried when we left. she likes you, ari. I was so pissed, and i agreed with her wanting to stay away. it's just a situation where you have to kind of look at her side of things. she explained her fears about love to you, and why they exist, and i guess she didn't really tell you this, but they're going to be hard to break. She can say that she'll open up and give you a chance, but it's going to take some time and things like this for her to actually act on it. you have to be patient. like you said, Aria isn't something you've ever found. me either. She is drop dead gorgeous, funny, has a mind like no other, cares so much, and still finds it in herself to be nice and take in absolutely everyone. she's one of a kind and I find it hard to see her flaws. Things like this will take time with her. I'll show her what you said, but I really can't promise anything. I think you're amazing and I understand where you're coming from. I just need to be really considerate towards what Aria wants too. maybe under some miracle, she can find it in her to not push you away. again, she didn't know the full story.. this whole thing is all really new to her.. and it takes a long time for her to think. 

I guess Harper explained things really well. She kinda exposed everything about me to Ari, and I can't believe he's still interested- or even still trying in general. I'm impossible to understand and hard to handle. I still don't even know what I want with Ari.

Ari: i understand. it was embarrassing for me too, and i feel disgusting about it. i like her a lot too, and right now it's hard for me to think of much else. thanks for listening harper. i really hope aria can find out that i'm not that guy who hooks up with a million different girls and can't ever make my mind up. that's not me. i'm genuine. i want her to see that from me. i wish i wouldn't have let that situation happen. anyways, i'm always here. i can wait for aria to talk to me, but i can't promise all my patience. 

Harper: let her figure it out on her own terms. I hope she works it out

Ari: me too. thanks again

Harper: Yep

He can't promise all of his patience? What is that suppose to mean?

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