Craving ( COMPLETE)

Chapter 1

      Another day filled with being stuck at school .  Some days I feel like it's not worth it . Then I think maybe it will be. It's not the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. I'm sitting here on a rock on the side of the building waiting for the bell to ring to go inside and get the day over. I much rather be home in my room enjoying the silence of which I can't here Michael running around downstairs.  I can then focus on my day dreaming of a perfect life with the perfect parents, boyfriend and house.

     I day dream almost my whole life.  Wishing i could change my story.  Wishing that it would all be a happy ending.  I still haven't gotten my ending but from the way my life has started.  It doesn't seem as if it's going to be a very happy one.

          I hear the bell ring and I grab my bag from the side of the rock and sling it over my shoulder. I head towards the front entrance and keep my head down a slight bit.  Just to not make any eye contact with anyone.  That's not my thing.  I am a nervous wreck around people. I'm more then socially awkward.  I just keep my distance and stay to myself.

        I make my way to the library because my first hour is a free period . But they make us sit in the library. It's a good thing my first hour is that due to the fact I can cram most of my homework into that one little hour.  I take my usually seat in the library and begin pulling my books and notebooks out .

      I look like I'm doing more then I actually am. That's another reason why people believe I get great grades and am actually super smart . Little do they know I am just day dreaming. Half the time I don't even realize I'm writing .

       I happen to take one glance up from my work and or day dreaming . I see this face that is new around here.  He's pretty tan and his hair is long but not to long. Not even shoulder length.  He's wearing a cut off flannel and a pair of jeans with a slight rip on them. I'm intrigued due to the fact we hardly ever see new faces around here .  I wonder where he is from and what he is doing here . 

      When he glances my way , I catch myself staring so I quickly look back down and make it seem as if I am working harder then before .  Praying I can get myself back to day dreaming and just forget thus embarrassing awkward moment.

    The whole time I was thinking he was going to come up to me and you know talk.  But I look back up and he's not there.  I look around the library and he's not anywhere around.  In my head I played this crazy scenario that it was gonna be like the movies and books . But nope. Not even close . 

       I have never been noticed a day in my life. But for some odd reason this time it bothered me. But per usual I put it in the back of my mind along with so other many unanswered things in my life .

    I continue on with my normal school day and classes .  Just making it the best way that I can. Finally the day is over and I can take my nice peaceful walk home. I wouldn't say I am a loner but I rather be alone. I don't talk much in school. I have a couple of people in different classes that I get along with and if there is a group project we seem to work on it together .  But I wouldn't give them the title as friend. 

      I'm not the average girl as to were I don't go out and no friends and blah blah blah.  I actually do some of those things but I never trust someone to get close to.  Trust me I do my fair share of partying and enjoying the scene of trying to be the normal high school girl .  Yes ,  even with my socially awkward self I manage to party.  Being drunk will do those things to you.

     I make it home , as I walk in I see my brother sitting on the couch watching the game as usual. I hear Sam in the kitchen with the sink running and Michael repeatedly saying mom.  Sometimes I feel like I invade their perfect little family. Like a burden. Although my brother always says I'm not.  I still feel that way. He could have done so much more with his life if I wasn't around. He didn't have to raise me but I feel like he felt no other option. 

     Sometimes thinking about how my brother could have had a better life males me teary eyed. I don't speak to him about feeling this way though, last time I did he got really upset and didn't come home that night. As Sam had tried to reassure me I knew she was angry with me because I had upset Richie so bad to the point he left for an entire night.

     "Hey richie" I say as I take my jacket off and hang it up on the closet door where the coat hangers are and toss my boom bag on the first step to the upstairs and set my shoes to the side.
 
      "Hey, how was school today?" He says not taking any attention off of the game. His feet propped up on the the soft cushion foot stool. Head leaned back with his hands resting on the back of it .

     "Same old same old." I say as I plop on the couch right next to my brother. We have such a good bond for the most part. We do fight and argue like other siblings. But not often.

    "Hayden your home" Sam says as she peaks her head in the living room from the kitchen.  I just look up and her and smile and nod.

"You want a beer?" Richie ask me. He already know the answer to this.  I couldn't turn down a drink.

I nod and he tells for Sam to bring us some .  She does and then we pop them open and do a slight cheers together and continue watching the game .

   These are the best moments in life.