Craving ( COMPLETE)

Chapter 20

          I woke up in the middle of the night because I did not feel Liam by me at all. I was scared now. Why am I always scared ? I shouldn't have to live my entire life in fear. I scramble around on the bed, looking at everything still trying to get my eyes to adjust to the light. I heard faint foot steps coming up to his bedroom door.

        Liam leaned ageist the door frame and let out a light chuckle. He has that crooked smile on his face that I can not ever get over.

       "What?" I ask, confused as to why he was laughing.

        "I leave for 2 minutes and you already woke up." He says making his way to the bed and sitting down.

        "I don't see how that's funny" I admit. I didn't see how it was funny. After what happened to me last night. I had all rights to be worried about being alone. 

        "Afraid I'm going to leave?" He questions in a joking manner.

        "No." I say. Not sure if I am a hundred percent on that. What if he does leave Me? He could find someone so much better and just leave me broken. I will always be fearful of that.

        "Don't worry baby. I am never going to leave you." He says kissing me on my cheek. All I want from him right now is to kiss the rest of the night away in his arms.

       We been together for about s month now, he's been so sweet and caring. I just feel like he trys to be to careful with me. He's ways trying not to break me but sometimes I want him to loosen up with me. Next month will be better. I will be just like him and he won't need to worry about being so gentle with me.

        "Can I ask you something?" I question him.

          "Anything my love." He smiles at me. I get lost for a moment in his smile. I loose all concentration everytike he looks at me. Even more when he smiles.

        "Why are you always so careful with Me? You never let loose. It's like most of the time your afraid to touch me." I say afraid of what his awnser might be.

       He lets out a light laugh. Looking down at his hands as he fiddles with them.   "I have to be. It's not that I want to be Hayden. I'm just afraid if I hurt you that you will leave."

          "I would never leave you. I couldn't live a light with out you." I admit pulling his face up with my hands.

       "I know that. But in the back of my mind I can't help but think it." He admits. I look deeply into his eyes. Lost in them. This is my whole reason for living. The man right in front of me is all I'm going to ever need.

          "Kiss me." I blurt out. His face glowed up a bit. "Don't be scared."

             Just then he grabs my face with his hands and plants his lips right on mine. Kissing me slowly and passionately. I begin to lean on my back on the bed. He follows my lead. Still keeping his lips pressed to mine. Moving then together in sync. I open my mouth to allow him access with his tounge. This kiss is more then any of out kisses have been. He wasn't holding back as much. He was still being careful due to his strength.

         I start to take his shirt off. When he stops me and gets up. "What are you doing?" He ask.

          "Ummm...." I begin not knowing exactly what to say.

      "Hayden, I don't think I can do this." He says moving away from me towards the end of the bed. I sit up. Confused and a little bit angry if I must say.

       "And why not?" I say with more anger in my voice then I had attended.

           "I'm scared." He says shyly .
    
            "I told you don't be scared. Just try?" I question a little. This is something that I really really wanted to do with him. Share this part of me with him. As he does the same with me.

      He nodded his head and then allowed himself to come back over to me as he takes his shirt off. He leans himself over me and begins that passionate kiss that we had just had. He takes off my shirt and bra and takes a look and admires my body. He brings to kiss all over my chest. I moan in agreement that I like what he is doing.

       He goes down a little and takes my pants off. He looks up at me to make sure that I am still ok with  what is going on. I nod my head to give him the sign that I am perfectly fine.

        Once my pants are off as well as his , he comes back up to me and holds himself over top of me and begins to kiss me again. He takes it slow and heavy. I can feel that he is nervous and scared.
 
          "It's ok." I whisper. He looks at me and nods. Kissing me again allowing me access into his mouth. I start to let out small light moans as I enjoyed how passionate this was getting.

       Then all of a sudden he stops. He gets up and put his pants back on. I cover myself up with his cover and sit up and stare at him. Wondering what I did wrong? Or was he not attracted to me the way that I am to him!
  
          "Is something wrong?" I ask a little worry coming out of my voice.

        "Hayden." He began before I decided to cut him off.

        "Or do you not like me in that way?" I question. Fear was coming out in my voice. I was afraid that now I would loose him. I couldn't loose him. But if he didn't love me the way that he thought he did. Then I would have let him go.

       He walks over to the bed and sits down putting a hand on my back.

     "It's not that my love. It's just I'm afraid." He admits .

        "Of what?" I question him. I feel sadness creep up into my throat. I'm trying not to let tears form in my eyes.

        "One thing I am afraid of is hurting you. But another is..." He trailed off. Looking blindly into the room. It's like he spaced out and forgot where he was .

        After a moment of silence he finally awnsered.

         "Getting you pregnant."