His Slave

Chapter 49

I was sitting on the hospitals waiting hall with Adien and Thorn.

I still couldn't comprehend what was happening.

All of this, no it can't be true. There's no fucking chance this is true. Maybe this is just all a nightmare and I'll wake up.

But as much as I want to convince myself, this is a nightmare I'll never wake up from.

My eyes were still teary as I was looking at the hospital's ceiling.

The ass never told me, the freaking asshole never told me.

And my arrogant selfish self didn't even realize. Nose bleed, pale look, tried. I'm so arrogant and selfish. I'm a bitch.

I should have known, I should have helped him, but now, now there's nothing I can do.

His smile, I may not see it again, his warm hand, it may never touch mine again, his arms, they may not wrap around me again.

His piercing green eyes, will they be closed forever with all the pain he held? Will I ever see them again? Will I ever look him in the eye and smile the way I did ever again?

Will I ever see him again?

His grumpy look, his smile, his flaws, his perfections. I loved everything about him.

I loved Sam, and I'm losing him.

No Nat, don't be a pessimist. Sam will be fine. After some hours, you'll get in the room and his eyes will be open, he will be breathing and everything will be okay.

All the things we went through together. All the fights we had, all the flirty moments, the kisses he gave me, the troubles we went through.

I should have appreciated them before I lost everything, but-.. I never thought I would lose Sam.

I can't comprehend it, everything seems like slow motion. It feels like I'm underwater and all I could hear are my thoughts.

Everything is blury and slow, everything is tearing appart.

I closed my eyes breathing heavily.

What I saw now was darkness, just like my heart right now.

He never told me, SAM NEVER FUCKING TOLD ME.

"He has cancer" I whispered to myself bitting my lip to stop myself from crying.

I never knew. I should have figured out, but I, I didn't.

Mr. McGrumpy would always show up at my dates and ruin them, well at that time, that's what I thought.

But now I realise he was making them better.

He could find amazing and funny ways to just end them and I never figured out it was jealousy. I didn't want to believe it was jealousy.

He sang to ruin my dates with Thorn, he played the trumpet with a group of kids and let's nite forget the damn kidneys.

All that time, he fucking loved me and I never figured out.

Or when he kissed me.

It means nothing

Those words hurt me, but I never realized why and they were a lie. I should have figured out, but I didn't. I didn't because I'm an ass who is only concerned about herself.

I'm arrogant.

I should have figured out.

I should have known.

I should have fucking known.

All I cared about were my feelings, how would I get hurt if I admitted I was in love with Sam, how I didn't want to admit I was in love with him, how I pushed him away. 

Now Sam's in there God knows what's happening. What if he d-... NO NATALIE, DON'T BE A PESSIMIST.

Sam will be okay, after the surgery you'll go see him and he will be alive. Everything will be okay.

Comforting myself did nothing though, my heart dropped some hours ago when I found out that all this time, Sam had cancer. I-I couldn't comprehend what was happening, I felt sick i the stomach and I just wanted to end this nightmare already.

But some nightmares need time to end.

I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling again impatiently waiting for the doctors to come out of Sam's room.  

"Cmon don't frown, everything will be fine" Aiden said as I faced him nodding, but the frown didn't leave my face.

"No Aiden, nothing will be fine" I said getting up in an agressive way and sneeking in to find Sam's room.

After walking for 3 minutes and lucky me no one told me to get out I found Sam's room and decided to stay there till he finished the surgery.

Calm down Natalie, he'll be fine. Sam is strong, nothing defeats him.

As I was standing at the door those words were like a knife in my heart. I had been stabbed by words.

Everything started to spin around and get blury. No this can't be true. Those words, no, maybe I'm hallucinating. I never though I would be too dead to die, but now...

"8:23am, Samuel Renyolds is gone"

***

A/N- I'll update the epilogue and damn I can't believe this story is ending ;-;

Okay, don't kill me please. At least give the epilogue a chance lmao

Love y'all

-Jay