MIDDLE FINGER PROMISE ; yugbam

/8/

"Have you seen this movie?"

Yugyeom shook his head, not taking his eyes off the screen. Bambam threw a piece of popcorn at the taller boy's head and Yugyeom shoved him.

"It's good."

Yugyeom nodded in reply. Bambam shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"I really-"

"Bambam, I swear to god if you don't shut up I will cut off your penis."

"Alright."

They watched the rest of the movie in silence. When it was over, they got up and started picking up their mess. They were at Yugyeom's house again because his parents and Mark were gone for some work dinner. They hadn't even invited Yugyeom, just told him where they were going before they were out the door. That was fine with him. He didn't want to go anyway.

"So...", Yugyeom trailed off. They had been avoiding the subject of Chris since the other night. Yugyeom rubbed the back of his neck. "About Chris."

Bambam set his empty bowl on the counter, staring at the granite counter-top to avoid Yugyeom's gaze. "What about him?"

"Well..." Yugyeom furrowed his brows. He knew they needed to talk about this, even if he didn't want to. "You liked him. So...what does that mean?"

Bambam sighed. He looked up at Yugyeom, his gaze piercing. "It means I'm fucking gay, okay?!"

Yugyeom's eyes widened at the smaller boy's outburst. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing Bam. I'm just...I was just wondering about how you felt. About the whole situation. Because it's not, like, an easy thing or whatever."

"I know, Yugyeom! How could I not?!", Bambam yelled. Then, he seemed to diffuse, relaxing his tensed muscles and leaning against the counter. He covered his face with one hand. "I'm sorry. I'm just...I'm so confused Yugyeom. I don't know what to do."

Yugyeom moved towards the smaller boy, gently taking his hand from his face to see tears falling down his cheeks for the second day in a row. "Bam...it's okay. I'm here."

Yugyeom pulled the smaller boy into a hug. "I don't need another thing, Yugyeom. I'm already messed up enough", Bambam sobbed. Yugyeom shook his head, pulling away to look Bambam in the eyes.

"You are not messed up, Bambam. Being gay does not mean you are messed up."

Bambam looked at the ground, tears still falling from his cheeks. He was clutching onto Yugyeom's arms like they were the only thing holding him up. Yugyeom brushed a tear away from Bambam's soft cheek, pulling him back into his arms.

\

Yugyeom laid awake all night, his mind running at 100 miles per hour. He couldn't stop thinking about Bambam.

He couldn't stop thinking about Jaebum, either.

He'd received a text from the older boy right after Bambam had left. He was wondering if Yugyeom was free on Friday.

Yugyeom sighed, throwing off his blankets. He needed to get out.

He shoved his shoes on, grabbing his wallet and a jacket and climbing out the window. He pulled himself up onto the lawn and hurried out of his backyard. He had no idea what time it was, but it was definitely too late for him to be out.

He paused in front of Bambam's house, debating if he should invite him to come. He moved on, deciding to let the boy rest, considering that he'd been up late every night that week. Yugyeom pulled his hood on, leaving the gated community and walking along the side of the road. He had no idea where he was going, but he had $30 in his wallet to do something with.